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Newspaper Page Text
n. y. i woodent -want to be a
preecher becaus i wood have to stay
dressed up all day Sundy and coodent
play short with the junior jiants ee
ther, which is the 9 neer where we
but slim Williams, who is a whale
of a southpa, never thought of that
i betcher when the preecher corned
over to their house yesterday.
if he bad he woodent never have
put hisself on the fritz with his ma
the way he did
slim's ma was blowing about slim
to beat the band, & she told the
preecher waiter (that is slim's reglar
name) is going to be a ministir when
he grows up, for he has offen eck
pressed grate admarashun for the
cloth (she ment a preechering job by
, cloth, which is the high brow way of
that is nice, replys the preecher,
and now, waiter will you tell me why
you want to be a clergiman
cause i wood ruther be standing up
hollering than sitting down in church
listining to sum other guy doing the
the preecher purtended he dident
here good, but it sure did settel slim's
hash with his ma
fI BLAME THE ECHO
f Tourist (at cafe in Alps) Walter,
? you have put me down for two bot
tles of wine and I've only had one.
Waiter Very sorry, sir; I'm new
x. here and I can't get used to the echo
from the mountains.
The Short Butler (hearing the
doorbell) What was that? O, yes;
excuse me, ladies. Every time I hear
a bell I get excited. I used to be a
One of the Buds to Short Butler
It seems I have seen you somewhere.
Short Butler It's quite possible
I've often been there.
The Chauffeur Now. I'll tell you
boys how to make a hit with the
ladies. They love riddles. Here's a
new one. Why is a man playing
poker at 4 o'clock in the morning like
The Butlers Why?
Chauffeur Well, one stays up late
and the other lays up state.
Sambo Rastus, what did yo open
de jackpot with?
Rastus A razor, man!
n o .
MISTA BOWES, WHV DOES
ELEANOR. 9EARS 6VE"TONE
BECAUSE SHE'S A