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Newspaper Page Text
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Vic Lawson won't' have to work so
Bud Fisher and Mutt and Jeff have
joined the Daily News .staff and will
help Vic get the paper out.
As the editorials are generally stu
pid, Mutt, and Jeff ought to afford
some relief to News readers.
Can it be that Vic is going to jine
the army, too?
And, if so, will he enlist under Maje
McCormick of the Trib?
By the way, Jim Forgan and
George Reynolds haven't yet enlisted.
Nor have Roger Sullivan and Levy
Hurry up, boys. He who hesitates
Nevertheless, folks'll be glad to see
Mutt and Jeff go to work on the
It needed a tonic
Now if the Katzenjammer Kids
would only take charge of the Trib
for a while, Chicago journalism would
be looking up.
As an educator Jake Loeb seems to
be some punkins as a politician.
And the trouble with the public
schools is politicians, not teachers.
Teddy Roosevelt has done a lot of
good in his time, BUT
He gives some of his friends a pain
when he turns knocker.
Og Armour must be getting scared,
building that big fence around his
'Smarter, Og? 'Fraid of German
Young Marshall Field HI. is about
to sojourn in our midst
Wonder if he's looking for a job.
They tell us Sammy Insull is just
finishing a million-dollar shack on his
Having cleaned up his pile, Sammy
will now have the sassiety bug.
They ail get it Certainly do like
to slosh around with the dough.
Big Bill better keep his eye peeled.
Roy West andChoIly Deneen sure
would like to see him spill the beans
by getting into a row "with labor.
Aside from cutting glass, diamonds
are useful principally in stimulating
the stealing industry.
Why is a diamond, anyhow?
GARRISON SLAPS ROOSEVELT
THROUGH WITH INCIDENT
Washington, Aug. 27. Secretary
of War Garrison, in a terse interview,
terminated controversy over CoL
Roosevelt's Plattsburg speech.
"The ex-president," said Garrison,
"takes the position that it is notori
ous that he has the habit of making
indiscreet speeches and that it there
fore was my duty to find out if he
intended to go to Plattsburg and if
so to head him off and save him from
This was in reply to the colonel's
charge that the secretary knew three
weeks in advance that he was to
speak in Plattsburg. It would have
been a rather large order, complained
Garrison, to find out what Roosevelt
intended to say and prevent him from
"He's a very active man," contin
ued the cabinet member, "and I'm a
very busy one and it's going to be a
pretty hard job for me to keep my
eye on him all the time."
The secretary likened the colonel's
attitude toward himself to that of the
Maine farmer "who was on his way
to the railroad station one morning
when he met a friend.
" "Where you goin'?' said the friend.
" 'I'm goin' down to Bangor,' said
the farmer, 'to get drunk, and great
Lord how I do dread it "
The secretary intimated he "ex
pected" this would be the end of the
At the White House it was said the
incident was thought to be closed and
no further development is expected
Many a man believes in rights for
women and lefts, too.