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Newspaper Page Text
(Leonard and Willard.) .
"My wife has been nursing a
grouch all week."
"Is that so. I didn't know you were
"They say fish is good for the
"What kind would you advise me
"When a man pays attention to a
woman it is generally a sign that he
wishes to marry her."
. "And when a man doesn't pay at
tention to a woman it is generally
a sign that he has married her."
'Is anybody taking you out to din
"You'll be awful hungry tomor
row." "To whom do you owe your dra
"My hair brasher; he gave me the
best 'part' I ever had."
o o r
KNEW THE DOCTOR .
In a certain village there was a
physician noted for his reckless auto
mobile driving. One day when he
answered the telephone a woman's
voice asked him if he were going out
driving that afternoon.
"No; I hardly think I will have time
this afternoon," replied the doctor..
"But why do you ask? "
"Well,s I want to sqnd my little
daughter downtown for some thread,
liT you are not" Everybody's.
: I o o
HOW SHE THANKED
' I Mrs. K. got on the street car with
. jber little daughter Sallie, and when
It came time to get off the car the
"conductor obligingly helpe'd little Sal
lie to the street.
' "Say thank you, darling, to the
. man for helping you off," said the
I "Thank you, darling," said little
Sallie. At which mother blushed and
the passengers roared.
r-'s a young kid from Kalee,
Who's grandma died on a spree.
When to her pantry he ran to steal
her fine jam, - .
The old lady's ghost he could see. j
Little Marjorie was running down
the street, blowing a toy balloon,
when she slipped, and fell prostrate in
"Boo, boo, hoo!" she cried lustily,
"Now my Bquawker- is all dirty."
"Never mind, dearie," consoled a
kindly old lady. "We'll soon make
that all right again!" And with her
nice, clean handkerchief the dear old
soul carefully wiped the little girl's
"Help me on with this overcoat,
my peach," said Herbert to Adele.
"No, Herbert, I'm not your peach
but your lemon. And if you want lem
on aid you know what you must do
Herbert promptly squeezed Um
Jemon. N. Y. -World.