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Newspaper Page Text
n. y. after a feller or a lady gets
purty old you can tell a hole lot what
there like by looking at their faces &
if a back dore handout gink dident
lern that kwick he'd starve to deth or
go to wurk.
if these panhandlers are at it for a
few munts they can tell by the furst
look if the dame is going to pass over
a good feed or call for the pup, he
lerns by ecksperience with em
there is a hard faced dame what
lves on our st and the other a. m.
a tramp comes along and promises
to wurk 10 yeres for a cup of coffee
and some more face fillers but when
he gets done feeding hisself he won't
wurk a lick , , ,
now you get bizzy with that work
the lady said, or i will call my hus
band o, no, you wont, replys the tramp,
caus he aint at home
how do you know, the dame ink
wires becaus, and the guy starts edjing
over the steps, a gink who is har
nessed up with a woman like you
ain't home only at meal times
& he made a dive for the gate that
looked like ty cobb going to take two
bases on a infeald hit
LOONY LIMERICKS '. '
During the Crimean war a collier
walked into a Rhondda shop and ask
ed for a pound of candles.
"Candles are up a penny a pound
today, sir," said the grocer.
"Why," asked the hewer of coal
"Because of the Russian war, sir."
"Then why don't the devils fight in
the daylight?" came the final poser.
Cardiff Western Mail,
A fellow who ate too much pie,
Got the colic and started to die;
He sent for the doc
At 11 o'clock,
And at 12 he was ten dollars shy.
An eastern schpol principal recalls
haif a dozen "stock school jokes,,"
which, he declares, are undoubtedly
known to every man or woman past
38. For instance:
The Tennessee boy who described a
volcano as a "mountain where the
world busts through."
The boy who described a museum
as "dead circus."
And "there's a great many donkeys
in theological gardens."
A despot is described in histories as
a "ruler to be feared."
The boy who writes: "My teacher
swatted me with her despot"
"You seem to be better fed than
taught," says the teacher to the fat
boy. "Yes, ma'am," says he, 'but yotj
see I feed myself!" t,