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Newspaper Page Text
n. y. if i had to take my pick be
tween being a conductor on a n. y.
St. car and going to war i wood pay
my own fair across to uroap and fite.
that's how much i like this job of
letting peepul jump on you all day
and then lissen to the boss tell you
at nite that politeness pays and if
the guy with a 5 cts. biffs yqu on one
cheek to pass the other over.
yesterdy i rid on the lexington av.
line and when a dame get on with one
of them there littel bow wows she
tells the connie plese tell me when
we' get to 108 st
we buzzed along while the connie
was bizzie as the dickens helping
babv bucreies and nakaees and old
p ladys on and off and pulling in the 5
t ets. from each which is hard to do
hk becaus evry body hangs on to a 5 cts.
w tighter than life in a st car.
finally we comes to 108 st and the
fijlp connie yanks the bell cord and hol
& lers st out loud
l& but the dame with the pup don't
""" budge eckcept to look outer the win
der plese, mum, the connie says, after
he walked al the way up to the frunt
of the car, this is 108 st, didn't you
want to get off "here
o, no, the lady replys, i just wanted
to show fido where he used to live
the connie never said a word eck
cept, well, i hope fido got a good eye-s-ful
& the lady got so sore she report
ed him and now he draws a 3 day lay
s off fdr his remarck
Minneapolis has voted in favor of
hres Laughing Water the ha-ha.
TODAY'S BELLRINGER '
Ex-Senator Lodge was talking hi
Boston and told the following storj?
to explain a point in his argument:
"A country lout in Massachusetts
got a job once shooting muskrats for
the owner of a milL He sat for sev
eral hours a day in the sun on the
dam, watching for the rats, which
were rapidly undermining the mtu,
"One morning a villager passed.
'"What are you doin', Si?' asked
" Tm paid to shoot muskrats,
came the reply, 'they're underminin'
" 'There goes one now!' said his
friend, 'why don't you Bhoot him?'
"Si sat motionless.
"'Do ye think', he asked, finally,
'that I want to lose my job?' "
IN WAR TIMES
"You've had a two-pound dinner
and you've only paid one pound for
"Well, you know the government
says to make one pound do the 'work
or two in war times."
Girls between peers and piers the
latter are the better to tie up to.