Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Geraldine Parrar the famous sing
er, once gave a concert for charity in
San Francisco. She asked a wealthy
but stingy social leader to subscribe
, for a box.
j "Sorry' said the social leader, "I
tan't be there. But I'll be with you
"Splendid!" replied Miss Parrar,
j!"the boxes are $20 where would you
Jlike to have your spirit sit"
r' Press Agent Miss Star, I'm .going
tato put over a yarn to the effect that
fyour pet poodle swallowed all yQtir
-l Miss Star What? Do you sup
4 pose I'll have people think I have,only
J enough diamonds to fill one poodle?
4 Go out and buy a St Bernard!
U o 0
k ' GOOD TRAINING
5 "My cross-examination didn't seem
5 to worry you much," said the famous
7 lawyer to the witness after the trial.
- "Have you had any previous experi-
"Just a little," replied the witness
- sarcastically. fI have six children."
Ladies' Home JournaL
"Well, Dinah, I hear you are mar
ried." "Yassum," said the former coolc
"I'se done.got me a man now."
"Is the a good provider?"
"Yassum. He's a mighty good
provider, but Tse powerful "skeered
he's gwine ter git kotched at it."
? "Pat, I see you always smoke a clay
"Yis when it drops you don't have
to pick it up, sor!"
o o -
WITH THE ROOKIES
S Drill Sergeant Now' my men you
may fire at will! '
Private i3ucgnaster which, one t
9l you hicks is Will? , JL
"I think I'll "spend a month in
Paris." N '
"How the deuce can you afford it
in these hard times?..
"I can't but I can afford to think
"My mother," said the thin man In
tne smoking compartment, "was the
most admirable housekeeper in the
world. She was a missionary in Af
rica and was finally eaten by canni
bals. And when they thrust ber to
the pot she cried out with her last
breath: 'Don't forget the salt and
First Crook suppose you have
been in every jail m the country?
Second Crook vYep, and in the
city, too. ,
THAT'S WHAT A LAWYER IS, BOY
"Papa, what is a lawyer?"
"A lawyer, my boy, is one who gets
two men to strip for a scrap and
then runs off with their duds!"
Mrs. Jones We women have or
ganized a society to reduce rents.
Mr. Jones fine! You can begin, Dy
jnmdingjthis rent in WJJkgsjtrpjqs