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Newspaper Page Text
new york new jersay is a grate
state peepel who live there say &.
maybe it is true but i never go over
there cause during the winters i dont
never get a vacashun & in the sum
- mer the skeeters is too feerce there
but anny how its a grate state
not long ago it desided that wim
men'dident know enuff to help the
men make laws and eleck members
of the legislashure and other offlses
is that so inkwires mr henry bundy
who is the squire over in linden, n. j.,
well i will show you men what kind
of laws you pass and then you wont
krow so loud over your selfs
so he dug threw the statoos of the
-state and picked out a cuppel of a
colleckshun of blue laws the smart
-alek men passed
1st he swore out a warrant to pinch
the pencilvania raleroad because it
sold tickets in the state on sundy and
hawled passengers threw the state
tioth of which is against the law
then he set out on a sundy morn
ing and nabbed mr. ludwig sep, who
"was delivring ice which is all so
against the law
i but that aint all, no sir, said the
Squire, and when i get threw you
men will be glad to let the wimmen
vote so they can help you give the
gate to these here blue laws
"A, B, C, D, E, F, G what comes
after G?" asked the teacher.
"Whiz!" cried the small boy in the
One afternoon little Willie, who had
been playing out on the lawn, enter
ed the house and thoughtfully ap
proached his mother.
"Mamma," said he, "where do they
keep the bear down in oar church?"
"The bear, child?" asked Willie's
mother, with a wondering expression.
"What bear? Who ever told you such
a ridiculous thing as that?"
"Nobody told me," was the quiet
rejoinder of the perplexed youngster,
"but every time I go to church they
always sing something about "the
consecrated cross-eyed bear.' "
TODAY'S BELLRINGER .
Jack Barrymore, the actor, once
loaned a dress suit to a friend in
need. This friend was the crustiest
sort of guy you ever saw, according
to the actor.
"When he finally returned-the suit
to me," says Mr. Barrymore, "he
sajd confidentially: "The suit didn't
eiauuy ui me su i gui. yuur tailor to
make a few alterations. But don't
worry, old top, I told him to send the
bill to me!' "
He Is that young friend of yours
She Yes, completely!