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Newspaper Page Text
IN TIME OF NEED
"Help the blind!" muttered the
beggar on the corner, near a picture
"Here!, poor man," said a young
woman, "here is some money."
She dropped the dime on the
paveihent and the "blind man"
leaned forward to pick it up.
"I thought you were blind!" ex
claimed the girL
"No, .lady; I'm only .taking the
regular "man's place for a while."
"Is he sick?"
"No, lady. He wanted to go in and
see the moving picture show!" Film
Fllpson Young Wiggles got the
laugh turned tin himself In his little
joke against the Blazes Fire Insur
Fllpson He insured 500 cigars,
smoked them, and then sent in a
claim on the ground that they had
been destroyed by fire. f
Flopson And they laughed at
him, I suppose?
Flipson No; they had him arrest
ed on a charge of arson.
WHY SHE SHOULD BE PLEASED
"What would your mother say, lit
tle boy," demanded the passer-by vh;
tuously, "if she could hear you swear
s like that?"
"She'd be tickled to death if she
could hear it," answered the bad lit
tle boy. "She's stone deaf." La
dies' Home Journal
SPEAKING OF AUTOS
"Yes, sir the horse is nearly ob-
"I notice yours is." New York
AFTER THE SLIDE
Bobbie Oh, look at that funny
man, mother. He's sitting on the
sidewalk talkin' to a banana peel.
HIS MEMORY T' H
T Html' J ljj
WL S&l tr "
"What is Jimson in such a rush
"He was shopping with his wife
and lost her. You see, he's forgotten
what color wig she wore."
The ocean liner was rolling like a
chip, but as usual in such instances
one passenger was aggressively, dis
"Sick, eh?" he remarked to a pale
green person who was leaning on the
The palegreen person regarded the
healthy one with all the scorn he
could muster. "Sick nothing!" he
snorted weakly. "I'm Just hanging
over the front of the boat to see how
the captain cranks it!" Puck.
Judge Landis of -Chicago, in his
early days oh the bench, tried a holdi
up man. In the course of the argu
ment, attorney for the defense
claimed that the man was ndt guilty
of burglary as charged. He said
burglary could only be charged when
there was something brok'en into.
"Well," came back the complain
ant. "he broke me."
&M . ' - .