OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, November 29, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-11-29/ed-1/seq-17/

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The teacher, wishing to impress on
her pupils' minds the vast population
of China, said: "Think, children,
two Chinamen die every time you
draw a breath!" A minute later her
attention was attracted to little Jim
mie James, who stood puffing vigor
ously, with face reddened and cheeks,
"What Is the matter, Jimmie?"
asked the teacher. "What are you
"Nothin', Miss Mary; just killin'
A North-County vicar married an
elderly couple at eleven o'clock in the
morning. At three in the afternoon
his duties took him to the neighbor
ing cemetery, where he met the same
couple seated lovingly on one of the
"You see, sir," the husband ex
plained, "my wife is a real 'un for
pleasure. I wanted to go back to me
work this arternoon, but th' missus
sed we'd better enjoy ourselves to th'
full and mak a day on't."
o o
Recently, according to P. R. Fe
land, the famous advertising writer of
New York, a reporter approached an
85-year-old farmer and asked him to
what he attributed his long life.
"I'm not certain yet," responded
the old man. "I've been framing up
'a deal with two or three of those pat
ent medicine concerns lately and I
don't know yet which one will come
across with my pricel"
o o
"I like acting with spirit to it," said
the great star, "but that girl has too
much spirit to suit me."
"How so?"
"In the third act she is supposed to
resist my kissing her and the vim
rshe puts mto it Is far from flattering
ito my personal pride." Louisville
Grouchy' Stranger (to native') I
suppose you know-all the sights
about here, eh?
Native Oh, no. There's always
new ones comin' round.
o o-. t
A visiting minister preaching in a
small town, near which a well-known.
Tace meeting is held, forcibly de
nounced the "sport of kings." Th
principal patron "of the church always
attended the home m'eetings, and 'of
this the stranger was afterward in
fomied. 'Tm afraid I touched one of your
weaknesses," said the preacher, not
"wishing to offend the wealthy one;
"but it was quite unintentional, I
assure you."
"Oh, don't mention it," cheerfully
retorted the backslider; "it's a mighty
poor sermon that don't hit me some
where." Tit-Bits.
The late Sir W. S. Gilbert was in-
clined to be witty at the expense of
the men and women who like to do
amateur acting in the name of char
ity. An enthusiast once said to him:
"Mr. Gilbert, what do you think of
our amateur club?"
"I think they are not so much ofj
a club as a bundle of stickB," returns!
ed the master of repartee.
- . , . . . .

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