Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
WHEN THE CHINK FORGOT
A Chinaman was brought before a
magistrate in a court of a Canadian
city and received a fine for a slight
misdemeanor. The judge had great
difficulty in making the Oriental un
derstand, for he pretended not to
know a word of English.
"Look here, man," he said disgust
edly; "that is one dollar. Do you see?
Pay it otherwise in jail! Under
The Chinaman signified that he
did not understand, and the magis
trate repeated it
"Let me talk with him, your
honor," said the portly officer who
had arrested him. "I'll make him
When the judge had given him
leave, the officer approached the
Chinaman and shouted in his ear,
' "Say, you, with the teakettle face,
can't you hear anything? You've got
to pay a two-dollar fine!"
"You're a liar!" cried the China
man, forgetting himself in his rage
"It's only one dollar!" Youth's
SAD, BUT SAFE
"Why do you look so sorrowful,
"I just hear-r-d wan man call an
other a liar, and the man that was
called a liar said the other man
would have to apologize or there
-would be a fight"
"And why should that make you
"The other man apologized!"
"Somebody has said," remarked
R. H. Davis, the editor, at a recent
banquet, "that if he could make the
songs of a people he didn't care who
made the laws! If this same fellow
is the man who is making our popu
lar songs today I'd like to be the man
making some of the laws," wound up
The famous botanist was pacing1
slowly along the country road, his
eyes, as usual, roaming from side to
side for new plants to study. Sud
denly an eager look swept across hi3
features and he leaned over the low
fence inclosing a cottage garden. He
had found a plant he did not know.
What could it be? If only he had a
specimen of it to study!
At that moment a shock-headed
lad strolled along the road and
stopped to gaze open-mouthed at
"I say!" called the botanist urgent
ly. "See that plant there that pale
pink one in the corner? Do you
"Uh-uh!" said the country boy
"What's its name? Do you know
what family it belongs to?"
The lad jerked a. grubby thumb
over his shoulder toward the little
cottage as he spoke more briefly
THE WISE WIDOW
Col. Jiggs I just told the widow
that my love for her was as deep as
the deep blue sea.
Nut What did she say?
Col. Jiggs She said she took it
with the corresponding amount of