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Newspaper Page Text
George Bernard Shaw tells of a
doctor friend who was strolling
through a cemetery one day with the
local minister. Near by, Sandy, an
old grave digger, paused to tip his
hat. As the two men passed Sandy
scrambled from his pit and followed
them. After a while the doctor, who
was walking a little ahead, turned.
"Why do you follow us, Sandy?"
"Ah guess Ah know ma place in
th' procession," said Sandy.
JIMMY, THE DIPLOMAT
"Jimmy," said the fond mother to
her smart 9-year-old, "what became
of that fruit cake I made for you as
a treat yesterday. Did you eat it?"
"No, mamma," answered Jimmy,
with a grin, "I gave it to the teacher
"That was very nice and generous
of- you, Jimmie," complimented his
mother. "And did your teacher eat
"Yes, I think so," answered Jimmy.
"She wasn't at school today."
ONLY A FOLLOWER
"I heard today that your son was
an undertaker. I thought you told
me Jie was a physician."
"Not at all."
"I don't like to contradict, but I am
positive you did say so."
"You misunderstood me. I said
he followed the medical profession."
New .Servant An' have yez a ga
rage on tne piace :
Mistress No, we have no car.
New Servant Then I can't come
wid yez. I have to have a place fer
me Ford. Puck.
IN THE WAR ZONE
Bibbs Though unaccepted at the
recruiting office I still remember that
I am a fraction of this magnificent
, Dibbs Sure! But a vulgar one!
I never had my heart in my mouth,
but I've had 'em up my sleeve-
"I know, John, dear, this high cost
of living is terrible, but do you really
think we can get along: without a;
"Well have to," Smith answered
firmly, "unless I get a raise. Why,
,hang it, if the worst comes to the
worst, you can do tne cooking for
yourself and I can get my meals at
"I was just thinkin' Bill, my hair
has grown longer than pa's hair yet
my pd's hair has grown longer than,