OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, January 31, 1916, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-01-31/ed-1/seq-17/

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new york some men are good
lawyers& some others are good run
ners, which makes it hard to tell
which is which, a drummer from
omaha told a man here the other day
while he was giving the oo to new
spring & summer goods in a holesale
is that so mr hanley, replyed the
other man
yes, said the drummer, i found that
out last summer 1 day when i was
out in kansas
they was having a big siklone there
the day befour i reeched the town &
the town was all blowed away, that
is the most of it, so i says to my self
i cant sell no goods here & there aint
no trane out untill tomorrer so i. will
get a eyeful of what the siklone done
he joins some other men who was
hunting for peeces of there houses
and stores and things & they traveled
about 20 miles when they met a man
who lived in the same town from
where they had just come from
hello, bill, 1 of the men said to him,
& he was laying on theground look
ing purty tired & hungry
hello yourself, bill answered
how did you get out here bill, they
inkwired, did the siklone blow you
cleer here
no, i outrun the blamed thing
o o
Patron I say, waitah, is this peach
or apple pie?
Garcon Can't you tell by the
Patron No.
Garcon Then what difference
does it make? Judge.
Jone was a past master of the hab
it of carelessness. He dropped. things
around in any old place, and after
ward never remembered where that
place was. One night he rose from
bed to get some medicine and swal
lowed his collar button in mistake for
a cough drop.
"Mary," said he to his wife, when
the awful truth dawned upon him, "I
have swallowed my collar button."
"That's all right," responded wife,
in a tone of evident satisfaction,
"there's nothing to worry about."
"Nothing to worry about?" return
ed father. '"Do you "
"That's what I said," interrupted
little wifey. "For once in your life
you know where you've put it"
o o
"The young husband came home
and sat down to wifey's first dinner,"
relates Patricia Collinge; the stage
star, "but when he got to the cake
Lsome discussion followed. ,
You may nave maae tne cane
alone, darling," he consoled his
bride, "but who helped you lift it out
of the oven?"
o o
Maybe the "painless dentists" mean
that they don't suffer any pain.

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