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Newspaper Page Text
iT 5Tgiyir JTf-wrt. r"rVj,
new york i gess i seen the 1st
base ball game of this seeson the
other day iif harlem when i went out
to chase a letter home for the boss &
he said never mind about coming
back & i said alrite, & he said see if
you cant pick up a littel news & 1
said alrite to him again
so i pulled outer the sub & there
on a vacant lot a bunch of kids was
playing baseball forit was purty
warm & they was haveing a good
tite game, only 1 lad, he was sitting
on the sidewalk watching them
purty soon a nise old lady comes
along & she says to me why dont you
play & i says i hafter take a letter &
she says to the other kid that was
why dont you play my littel man,
& he says the captain put me outer
the game for muffing a file
is that so, she inkwired, well, if he
treated me that way, i woodent stand
here & watch them play, i would find
more konjeenal companions
o, i aint watching them, the kid
o, your not, well then what are you
doing, the lady said
i am just watching for the game
to end & when the captain starts
home i am going to bat him on the
kisser with this
& he showed the lady a bunch of
fives he was saving up
"You've had plenty of rain in your
"Yep. Hurt my crops, too."
"Will you lose much money?"
"No; I'll break about even by haul'
ing autos out of mudkolesj".,,
Bishop Penhurst was' talking in
Boston about charity.
"Some charities," he said, "remind
me of the cold, proud, beautiful lady
who, guttering with diamonds, swept
forth from a charity ball at dawn,
crossed the frosty sidewalk and en
tered her huge limousine.
"A beggar woman whined at.the
" 'Could you give me a trifle for $
cup of coffee, lady?'
"The lady looked at the beggar re
proachfully: "'Good gracious!' she said. 'Hero
you have the nerve to ask me for mo
ney when I've been tangoing for you
the whole night through! Home,
"And she snapped the window shut
in the beggar's face indignantly."
Hubby (about to travel) Well, ITJ
drop you a line from every town I
f get to.
Wife Do, dearest, ido ! Even if if
only a check.
That congressman who suggested
moving the national capital from
Washington to Milwaukee must want
to change the pork barrel into a beer
barrel well, anything is better thaa
,"pork.7 ,, - "
k jjn'ii' .