Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
TODAY S BELLRINGER
For nearly an hour the salesman
had been dilating on the marvels of
the motor car he was trying to sell.
"And the price of the car is $1,000,"
the customer murmured, thought
fully. "Does that include every
thing?" "Yes oh, no, of course; the lamps
"Lamps extra!" said the custom
er, sharply. "But they are shown in
"My dear sir, so is a very beauti
ful woman shown riding in the car,"
said the salesman, smoothly, "but we
do not give a lady with every car!"
THE REAL PUNCH
Editor (of snappy magazines)
To show you how much I think of
your novel, old man, I'm going to let
Charley Overwood do the illustra
tions. Author Huh! I'm not particular
Editor (interrupting) WHAT?
Why, great cats ! That boy can draw
silk stockings you can see through!
"What's the matter with young
"She's broken-hearted and says
Mr. Gadder no longer loves her."
"Why does she think that?"
"She wrote a letterto Santa Claus,
asking for a set of furs and gave it
to him to mail."
"He mailed ft"
MINDING HIS BUSINESS
"Your honor," said the prisoner,
"this cop arrested me while I was
tmietly attending to my business."
"You say he deliberately took you
In while you were doing nothing but
working at your business?"
"Yes, your honor."
"What is your business?"
"I'm a burglar."
&N OffcrteSTfcA LEADER
FOR AN AUrTorVmc BAND-
Judge Officer, what's the matter
with the prisoner tell her to stop
that crying she's been at it fifteen
f Officer Please, sir I'm a-thinking
she wants to be bailed out Nebras
If I were monster enough to want
to break the heart of a small boy I'd
give him a manicure set for a birth
day present .
rifrga.. kg&sf , ffrfff iWtf-