Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
ALMOST FATAL ERROR
"Look here'" burst out the indig
nant farmer, rushing into the village
store, "I wish you'd be a bit more
"W-w-why, what Is wrong?"
gasped the elderly man behind the
"Do you remember me coming in
last Tuesday for some liniment to
rub on my old cow?"
The shopkeeper nodded.
"And you went and gave me some
eau-de-cologne?" snorted the farm
er. "I rubbed it on the cow and ever
since the beast has done nothing but
gaze at herself in the duckpond and
A sedate banker of Hamilton, Can.,
was sitting in his office one morning
when his ten-year-old hopeful drifted
in, bearing with him an expression of
"Anything gone wrong, boy?" in
terrogated the financier. "Why at
your age you ought to be cheerful all
"I know it, Frank; I know it," re
sponded the youngster. Tm doin
the best I can, but, honest, I had a
terrible time up at the house with
your wife this morning." Saturday
A little colored girl, a newcomer in
Sunday school gave her name to
the teacher as "Fertilizer Johnson."
Later the teacher asked the child's
mother if that was right
"Yes, ma'am, dats her name," said
the fond parent "You see, she was
named f er me and her father. Her
father's name am Ferdinand and my
name is Liza. So we named her Fer
tilizer." Boston Transcript
Teacher If a farmer sold 1,479
bushels of wheat for $1.17 a busbel,
what would he get?
Boy An automobile.
Mrs. Justwed . And would yoi
really do anything for me, Jack?
Justwed Darling, I swear it!
Mrs. Justwed Then would you
please let my brother, Bob, the sur
geon, operate on you for something?!
He's just starting in, you know!
(mne Yre' two
VgOR A NICKEL SACrty
Kt A BANQUET
A rabbit's foot will bring good Iudl
to any man who is healthy, industrk
ous, thrifty, intelligent, far-sightedt
popular and well-trained in busii$ea4