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Newspaper Page Text
In a shop recently a wellknown
actress, who is noted for her peren
nial yoiith, asked for a traveling bag
I( of alligator skin. The shopkeeper,
who had none of that particular sort,
-' brought out instead some of smooth
, "And you tell me this is alligator
skin?" objected the actress. "Why,
where are all its wrinkles?"
! "Ah, madam," replied the wily
dealer, who knew his customer, "the
i correct alligator bag is made from
the skin of an alligator that has been
h massaged." Tit-Bits.
I . o o -
! MISPLACED SYMPATHY
Through the busy downtown
streets a stalwart policeman led a
'- little child by the hand. A motherly
; looking young woman paused before
-"" them for a moment Then, in a Bud-
den burst of sympathy, she bent over
the child and kissed her. "Poor lamb!
1 She looks so cold and starved-like,
and she hasn't been wasnea lor a
week. Some folks cannot be trusted
with children, wicked, cruel things')
they are. "Where did you find the
2 child, policeman?"
y "Find the child, woman?" snorted
.the policeman, angrily. "I didn't find
iher at alL She's my own kid."
Z WHAT HE WAS WAITING FOR
., The minister was hard at work re
pairing the fence of his chicken yard.
Noticing the pareful attention given
Jfci.0 the work by a small, son of his
"""next-door neighbor, the clergyman
u asked kindly:
c "Are you getting some points on
- "No, sir," said Harold. "I'm just
Aawaitin' to hear wot a preacher says
,w'en he mashes his thumb wit de
- .hammer." Ladies' Home Journal.
IT o o
It BROKE FATHER
tx First Kid We got a piano at our
Second Kid So've we. We got
5,purs on the insolvent plan. 4
Mrs. Enderly, wife of Judge Ender
ly of a small Missouri town, com
plained one day that ,she had acci
dentally swallowed a button.
As thd lady was rather given to
making great ado over trivial mis
haps and the judge being much pre
occupied, he did not pay much heed.
Soon after, however, finding her in
tears, he made kindly inquiry as to
"It's your heartless in-indifference
to anything that h-happeps to me,"
sobbed the aggrieved little woman.
"I didn't suppose you'd w-worry
much because I swallowed a button,
but I d-did think you might have tak
en enough interest in it to inquire
w-what kind of a b-button it was!"
Art in Buttons.
o o "fit
"See that girl over there? She's
the girl I was engaged to last year
and the engagement -was broken
, "Did you get your ring back?"
"Get it back! Why, three month?
afterward she wrote me asking if I
wouldn't have the stone reset for
( oUfeHT'tb-FtXJURlSrt J
EtNS A LANDSCAPE
GARDENER in A SfONEl