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Newspaper Page Text
TIS FUNNY HOW SPRING FEVER
GETS SOME PEOPLE
"One moment!" The city editor
held up an imperative finger and the
sob writer followed it until she stood
at attention by his desk.
He appraised her in a speculative
manner that made her squirm.
"I don't know, Jenny, whether
you are suffering "from spring fever,
blighted affections, an ingrowing
sense of humor, or moron lack of
comprehension when you are ad
dressed by educated people," he said,
"but it does impress me deeply that
whenever I give you an assignment
you hand me in dope that is just the
opposite of what I asked you to get.
It may be that you are familiar with
some language that I do not speak,
but I have resolved to try an experi
ment on you.
"I'm not going to give you any spe
cial assignment, except I want a hu
morous story. Roam whither thou
wiliest, talk to whomever you choos
eth, but get me a funny story.' That's
all but I expect' results."
The s. w. smiled happily. At last
it had come just such an assign
ment as she yearned for.
For several hours she roamed
about until she had a voluminous
mass of notes, then she sought the'
telepohne and the voice of the c. e.
"Ted hee! I have it!" she an
nounced. "It is sectional, but so
funny. Tee hee! Little touches oT
nature that are teeming with com
edy." "Come across," snapped the c. e.
"You're hogging the line, and there
are other members of the staff. What
have you got? I'll do the laughing."
"Well, here is a funny little touch
of nature I observed on Madison
street," she responded. "One of
those walking advertisements for
preparedness was strutting up and
.down with his legs in what I think
are called 'puttees.' I am not sure of
that, but you know what; I mean,
khaki cloth wrapped around the
calves ilke bandages. He had his
chest stuck out like a peacock. Then
it happened. Tee hee! A dog ran be
tween his legs and they were so
bowed he never knew it until he saw
the dog, and I laughed right out loud
at him. Isn't that rich?"
Silence on the line. '
"Maybe I better give you the long
ones first," the s. w. suggested, be
cause my space is limited.
"They poured, water on the trou
bled oils in the court of domestic re
lations this morning. The Oilers
were in court- Mister and Missus.
They have been married two years
and he's deserted her once a year,
which makes twice. She resolved to
forgive him and try it over again, and
the judge asked Oiler if he meant to
stick, and he looked up into the heav
en toward the ceiling and said he
hoped so, and the judge jumped on
him for being so lukewarm about it,
and he had to say he'd keep on pour
ing water on the troubled oil and
finally they left the court, and then
the joke came out
"Some one reminded the judge
that the Oiler case was the one
where the man had been married
seven time in all and the other six
marriages were all voided by the ac
tion of the different wives. Get the
idea? He hoped it would stick, but
the other six hadn't. Isn't that rich?"
Silence again on the line.
"If that isn't all my space will let
me handle I have a few more," the
s. w. offered. "A woman in court
said her husband forbid her going to
dances and what do you think she
did? She bit his finger. Then on
Madison street I saw a fellow wear
ing a new straw hat and just as he
got on the bridge "
The voice of the city editor inter
rupted. It sounded very gentle.
"You better consider today a holi
day, Jenny," it said, "and since it is
the office custom not to dock people
when they are sick, you will get your
full pay envelope Saturday."