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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
Answer Yes, dear heart, we think
he loves you $3.75 worth.
The Golf Bug.
V, My! wha't an odd looking object!
1 ' Is it supposed to be a Mexican- jump
, t ing bean? V
s No! (All.right, Al, give us some of
the dark stormy night music!)
It's a very queer species ojE insect
called the golf bug gosh!
Is it dangerous?
Yes! .Stand back it has golf
fever, which, is very infectious. It
may nail you. The golf bug is a
lifetime study in itself. It can be
seen crawling out to the golf links
before the sun is up, to work a lit
tle white ball around a field for a
couple of hundred miles. Sometimes
c it crawls back home at night, and
,tSome nights it crawls home slower
: than usual, because it has played the
nineteenth hole. ' 1
What is the nineteenth hole?.
It's a mahogany tree that the golf
, bug taps for its refreshing sap.
, Scientists say that golf is a curtrfor.
insanity, but they can't figure out a
cure for the golf bug.
X ; o o ,
OUR HEART-BALM DEPARTMENT
Dear Editor Three weeks -ago . I
met a nice young man who said he
was a banker from Kalamazoo. We
"became fast friends. He asked me
to let him have $3.7l to pay his'car
' fare to New Yojk tp see his friend,
J: P. Morgan, as all his money was
tied up in xacstocks. I did. I have
gTfiet seen him since. Do you think
he loves me?
Dear Editor A young man who
says he is a moving picture actor has
asked me to marry him. When I
asked him if he could support a wife
he replied that I could go to all the
moving picture shows free. Do you
think I am justified in accepting
Answer Ask him if he serves
meals with his free "moving picture
Dear Editor I weigh 115 pounds
and have a 22-inch chest I am in
love with a young lady who weighs
220 and does heavy lifting in a hand
laundry. When I told her that I
would always be her protector she
laughed most-annoyinglyv. Why did
she do it?
Answer Gosh, Percival, if you
can't guess we're too kind to ptft you
r .DIFFERENT NOW
"How marriage changes a man.
"Doesn't it? Take my husband
he used to offer me a penny for my
thoughts, andnow he often offers me
$50 to shut up."
SOFT SNAPS '
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