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(Kind of a City Guy's Elegy.) I. Amaryllis, listen, kid, - I love you as I always did; Just because. I've gone away Aln'ti no reason, I might say Why I have forgotten you . Amaryllis, you will do! IL , Amaryllis, I remember, All them glad days in September, When beneath the harvest moon. That there love-spell broke too soon. . 'Course, we'd orter died that night Amaryllis, ain't I right? IIL Amaryllis, gosh, it's tough This lonely thing is right bad stuff; If a guy could just forget All the past, he wouldn't fret; But memories are never slack; Amaryllis, kid, come back! REVENUE! -While making his usual daily in ; spection of the stables the major no ticed Trooper Jones giving his horse a piece of lump sugar. "I am very much pleased to see you making much of your horse, Troop er Jones," he said ; "it shows that you regard him with the true spirit and I will not forget it" Trooper Jones waited until his commanding officer was out of hear ing and then turned to his neighbor. "I wasn't makin' much of him," he said. "The blighter threw me off this ; morning and I am trying to give '? him the blinkin' toothache." Tit .'" Bits. o o WHY IT WAS SAFER A boy was visiting another boy, and as they were going to bed the "little host knelt to say his prayers. "I never say my prayers when I , am home," said the visitor. c. "That's all right," said the other "boy. "You better say them here. This is A folding bed." Ladies' : Home JournaL AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL! Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern The Love Bug. Ah! Gather 'round all ye who are love sick. This is the bug that gave you the fever. A fellow who is in good, healthy condition may be walking through the park and not have the slightest thought of falling for some fair damsel. His thoughts may be far away, overhauling his automobile or pairitirfg a chicken coop until the love bug alights on his vest just over the first pocket on the left side and drills through, puncturing the Ro-meo-to-be's carburettor then keep your headlights on the poor boob! Observe how, stricken with the fever, he raves about some frail He even tries to write poetry about her, loses his appetite, and wanders along the streets looking In jewelry and furniture store windows. Don's try to dodge th&love bug, be cause when he goes after anyone he GETS HIM! o o WARNED- Wife Well, dear, I shall- have to do the cooking now. Cook left with out warning this afternoon. Husband Not exactly without warning. She told me this morning I had better bring home some dys pepsia tablets tonight, but I didnt quite understand what she meant- Tit-Bits.