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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
i i , 1
Oh! Is this the canary that stands
on the back platform of a street car
and warbles sweet tremolos?
You've hit the bull's eye, Hector.
Say Al! give Hector a cigar.
Does he stop whistling when the
Oh, my no! That's the time he
leans on it heavy so everybody in
the car will be sure to hear him. He's
always whistling some sweet up-to-date
song like "My Bonnie Lies Over
the Ocean all out of tune.
This is the same bird that walks
up a street after midnight and whis
tles to show .that he isn't afraid.
We'll bet that half the fellows shot
by hold-up men are these midnight
whistlers. And you can't exactly
blame the burglar for shooting, can
you? It has always puzzled us to
know why they cage up the poor lit
tle innocent bird and let the big, suspender-wearing
canary go around
without even clipping his wings.
NO TIME FOR WORDS
p "What would you say if I should
"That is a foolish question to ask
"Under such circumstances a girl
seldom says anything. Spme of them
gurgle; others gasp." .
Before the looming danger of in
vasion the pacifist and the prepared
ness chap are, respectively, like Wil
lie and Johnny.
Willie and Johnny had been very
naughty ahd were sent to bed by
their mother. As they lay side by
side footsteps were- heard it was
now evening and the two culprits
realized that their father was mount
ing the stairs. They turned pale.
"I'm goin to fold my hands as if
I'd been prayin," said Pacifist Willie,
"and then I'll pretend to be asleep
when he comes in."
But Preparedness Johnny was al
ready bustling swiftly about the
"I'm goin to put on my pants," he
said, "and line 'em with a news
paper." o o
"Yes, my son."
"The early birds don't get all the
"Why not, my boy?"
"Because some of the early apples
WITH TH SAME uPlv-Cl A
te&MPOSINO MUSIC FOR
A CIGAR BAND