Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Say, Rudolf, did you ever catch an
No, 'Bernard, but I tried to catch
one once, but I couldn't hold onto it
' it were so slipperish. Well, Isaac,
an eel is as slippery and as easy to
hold as a piece of sandpaper com
pared to holding a cook.
No, not holding her the way you
think. I mean, keeping her on the
job. First you have to go out and
hunt for a cook. Hunting boa con
strictors is as gentle a pastime as
feeding the bird in the cuckoo clock
compared with hunting cooks. You
walk into the employment agency
feeling like Danny in the lion's den.
Den (that's supposed to be a jolce)
they sic five or six 250-pound females
on you and they all start growling,
"What'll you pay?" "Any washing?"
Thursdays and Sundays off?"
The only thing they don't ask is,
"Do I have to cook?" That's under
stood (you'll find out later, they
Finally after being cross-examined
for two hours you triumphantly
march home with the prize, the dan
gerous part of picking the one you
want being over. Now the hard part
comes in trying to keep her. In about
ten days she becomes uneasy and
you give her full control of the house
and move your sleeping quarters to
the cellar. But it's no use. She
There are cases known where
cooks have actually stayed for three
weeks, but that's hard stuff to be
lieve, like Roosevelt's nut-eating, I
HE DID AS HE WAS TOLD
The class was seated ready for re
citation, when a young student rush
ed in and dropped a great pile of
books on the floor. The nervous
professor jumped and then said an
grily: "Young man, go down to the pres
ident's office and drop those books
just like that!"
The youth departed, returning in
a few moments and calmly taking his
seat in class.
i'Did you do as I told you to?" de
manded thelrate professor.
"What did the president say?"
"Nothing," coolly returned the
student "He wasn't there." La
dles' Home Journal. v
CALLED HIS BLUFF
Caller Have you a few momenta
to spare, sir?
Capitalist Young man, my tjme
is worth $100 an hour, but 111 give
you ten -minutes.
Caller Thanks, but if it's all the
same to you, sir, I believe I'd rather
take It in cash. Boston Transcript.
o o '
A SOFT SNAP i
COP 5AYS lb ME . WHAT
AR VOU "STAMPING HERE RDRJ
AN' I SAYS'" ttoXtiiti'- AN' "
HE SAYS. 'weu. MOVE ON
, SUPPOSE eVRY6O0Y STOOD
kAROUlsHOiV w&ULD TH' REST,
Bottoming up ft