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Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE!
One of life's little miracles: Mak
ing one collar last throughout the
day when ol' mercury hovers 'round
the 85 mark.
What has become of good umpires?
It's swell to be squirtin the garden,
It's great to be mowin' the lawn,
It's fine to sleep out on the back
From twilight 'til way into dawn.
Three cheers for the cool summer
Although through the day it's a
These things are all great, but
there's one thing we hate,
It's the pesky ol mosquito bite.
DRILL IN SEA SUITS
West Palm Beach, Fla., July 18.
Members of the summer colony here
have caught the preparedness fever,
and a woman's Red Cross camp has
been organized. Owing to the heat,
the members drill in bathing suits in
stead of khaki, as was used at Chevy
If it's true that we were all on this
land once before the Statue of Lib
erty must have been a straphanger
on her first visit
Anybody who has a kick
against the weather man nowa
days must be an awful grouch.
Only 160 days until Christmas.
Guess we beat everybody else to
The question now seems to be,
who is going to put the ran in Car
ranza? Speaking of bathing girls, some of
them have socks and some of them,
only half socks,
Pull 'em up girls, the dimples
in your knees show.
Frank Walsh says there is not a
free newspaper in the country. The
Day Book costs one cent.
Indoor shorts: Cigar butts.
Cause for silence: A busted klaxon.
Old timers: Any guy who is
past the century mark in age.
It is easy to imagine that when
some of the umpires1 in the National
league write home to their folks in
the old town they tell all about the
sensational decisions they have mado
recently. And also mention how
square and fair they have been. So
much for 'their letter. But, judging
from some umpiring on the North
Side recently, some should write
about like this:
Dear Folks: I will be back in the
home town shortly, either through
being without a position or because
I've got several "cushion bumps" on
my head. Umpiring has been going
badly of late. I wish you would havo
those old glasses of mine fixed up. I
think I need them. So do the fans.
The only plays I seem sure of late
ly are when a fielder actually catches
a fly ball or when a man takes three
good healthy swings and misses the
ball clean. Then I know right away
that the batter is out. Of course, if
a runner gets hit by a batted ball he
is out. One of the players was tel
ling me about this rule the other
I don't seem to be a bit popular
among the players or the fans. I
wonder why. I will sure be glad to
get back home among friends those
who do not know that I'm an um
pire in the National league. Will
write again later. Am going out now
to get roasted. Very Unruly Yours
How to be cool though hot: Think
of Uncle Sam's boys in Mexicp,