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Newspaper Page Text
According to Mike Hogan, Casey
and O'Brien were having an argu
ment to the extent that each had for
gotten what it was about originally
and they were wholly oblivious of the
gathering crowd until an urbane and
genteel person in a frock coat put In.
"Come, come, my man," he said,
gently plucking Casey by the sleeve.
"You don't want to fight; I can tell
it by your looks. Your face is too
"Two be nine! Two be nine, is it,
ye scut?" bellowed Casey. "Me face
is two be nine, is it?"
And there was where the real trou
: 0 0
HE DIDN'T WASTE IT
A little boy went to Sunday school
for the first time. His mother gave
him a nickel to put in the collection
box. When he returned he had a
sack of candy.
"Where did you get the candy?"
asked his mother.
"From the stand around the cor
ner." "But what did you buy it with?"
"With the nickel you gave me."
"But that was for Sunday school!"
"Well," replied the boy, "I didn't
need It. The minister met me at the
door and got me in free." The
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
"What was all the argument be
tween you and Judge -Flivver yester
day?" "Oh, we were discussing the mer
its of our respective cars."
"That's a foolish thing to do. You
can never convince a man that your
car is better than his."
"1 know that, but I got him so mad
that he committed himself to the
statement that my car can't make
over ten miles an hour. The next
time I'm brought Up before him for
speeding I'll remind him of that"
,K. Y. World
The Goat Getter
Oh! How we love this guy J
Why the amour about this goof,
If it wasn't for a judge and jury we
would see to it that this pest would
be as rare as a bar of soap in a Mex
This is the chunk of unpolished
ivory with the oyster tyes that keeps
looking you over in a street car or
else has his lamps pinned on you
when you are eating.
Gosh! Don't you feel as comforta
ble as a bather off New Jersey when
pne of these pie-eyed, granite-nobbed,
flea-brained simps gives you the
Cream puffs look nice in the bak
ery window but they'd look cuter if
they were smeared over this pest's
mug when he starts the range-finding
stunt How about it, Romanoff?
"Good Sunday varn this," declared
the exchange reader. "Parson doubts
that Jonah lived three days in whale's
"Great!" agreed the Sunday edi
tor. "Interview Jonah and get a pho
to of the whale." Judge.
"When I said my prayers last night
didn't you hear me ask God to mak
me a good boy?"
"Yes, Bobby, I did."
"Well! He ain't done it"