Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE
-o 0 0 0 0 0 0 O O O 0 o- One of life's little miracles:. Find ing a cool place in Chicago, outside of the lake. What's become of "ten above zero"? It's great to snooze where breezes blow, And where the sun is not. We think we'd like to sleep in snow, At least when it's so hot. A hammock swinging to and fro Is great when in the shaoe, But we'd prefer to lounge within A tub of lemonade. It is customary to mention something about the beaches these days, so we will state that some of the best divers that have turned out this season are of the fairer sex. Wanted: One definition as to how to sleep comfortably on a hot night BATHING SUIT CHURCH ' Kissimmee, Fla. Lots of churches allow worship in shirtsleeves and peekaboo waists, but a local congre gation is to vote on whether it will attend next Sunday's services in bathing suits. The Baltimore city council has passed an ordinance making it a mis demeanor for any person to play or sing "Star Spangled Banner" while sitting down. This is a move in the right direction, as it will prevent a lot of persons from trying to play or sing it. A lot of fellows find soft drinks hard to take. A Denver woman turned in a re .alarm to find ber Jwsbami, The firemen, a consistent buncS, offered no assistance, because when they arrived on the scene he was out. In a few months we will be celebrating the first anniversary of our preparations for prepar ing for preparedness. When we see a youngster of three years trotting around with nothing but a little pair of jumpers and some sandals on, we sure long for our kid days. Wethinks the weather man has made himself solid with Chicagoans for some time to come. Of course, we could stand a little rain or a bit of cooling breeze. But that is not in the form of a kick. Cause for silence: "You go right to sleep, Tommy, or you'll get a gobd spanking." They don't agree: T. R. and the Progressives. Old timers: "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree." Sounds pretty good these days. Things to be thankful for: Being an iceman. . AN INCIDENT A few remarks a conductor hears every day: j "Why didn't you call my street?" "I forgot to ask you for a trans fer." "Say, I gave you half a dollar and only got twenty cents change." "Why, the other conductor told me this transfer was good." "I'll report you to the manage ment" "A five-spot is the smallest I've got" Such is life for a conductor. - o 0 Pekin. It took 30 cars to move the late Pres. Yuan Shi Kai's 27 wives, 31 children and household effects tg his summer home at, ChantghtUt 0 ILa. -.