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Newspaper Page Text
new york i gess some kids are
just like big folks, all ways asking
kweshuns & thinking up ways to get
some boddy else in bad, but i dont
blame the kids for that becaus 1 gess
tBey gets it from the old peepel
now, gorgie medders is that kind
of a lad
all ways he sticks his foot in it if
there is anny chanct for him to do
so & the funny thing about littel gor
gie is that he dont meen nothing by
it, for he aint smart enuff
yesterdy he went to Sunday skool
& they was having there usual bad
time sticking inside heering lessens
when gorgie wood ruther be playing
with his new dog that does tricks
well, the new preecher talked his
head off, saying about evry thing he
could think of & then some, but that
is the way with new preechers, pa
says, for they want to show what
they got in there noodles
then he says to the kids, i have
talked kwiet a while & now i will give
you a chanct so anny of you may ast
anny kweshuns you have in mind &
we will try to figger it out correctly
so purty soon it comes gorgie's
turn & he says, pleese, mr. preecher,
why did the angels walk up and down
Jacob's ladder when they had wings
and could fly.
HE WONT LIVE NEXT DOOR
Visitor What's your daughter
Mother "Silver Threads." Doesn't
it move you?
Visitor It would if I lived next
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Sh! Give a look who's here!
Everybody in the class put on their
cheaters and see if they can tell me
what's on his back.
All right, Luke', what is it?
Well, maybe, but take a good
squint and see if you don't notice
something up near his shoulders.
Well, Felix, shoot
It's a piece of Ivory witH a hat
Quite right, but you're wrong.
It's 50 pounds of ice!
Ah, go on! No fair, you used a
Yep, it's a piece of ice 50 pounds.
The iceman is a remarkable study.
You put your sign up at 7 o'clock
in the morning for 50 pounds of ice
and the Iceman comes along at 7 p
m. Then he cuts off 50 pounds. (Ice
men would, make expert diamond
cutters; they're whales when it
comes to delicate cutting.) He
brings it upstairs, sets it down, lets
out a big heave of relief so as to
make you think it's heavy, and then
he warbles, "I cut this piece about
10 pounds over the 50 mark, but I'll
let it go at that."
"My barber told me a wonderful
story this morning."
"illustrated with cuts, I presume"
N. Y. World.