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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
NO MAN THERE
At a recent social affair the sub
ject of marriage came up for discus
sion. "Speaking of marriage," remark
ed one of-the woman guests, "I could
never quite understand one of the
biblical references to it"
"To which one do you particularly
refer, Mrs. Jones?" asked another of
"About marrying in heaven," an
swered Mrs. Jones, thoughtfully.
''Why do you suppose there is no
.marrying nor giving in marriage in
"That's an easy one!" promptly
chipped in a sarcastic matron. "I
don't suppose there is a man In the
NO SUCH THING
"Pa," said Johnny, who is a per
sistent knowledge seeker, "what is
"There isn't any such thing,
Johnny," replied the old gentleman,
"who had been involved in consider
able litigation in his- time.
"But this bbok says- that some
body was a great lawgiver," persist
ed the youngster.
"Then it's a mistake," rejoined his
father. "Law is never given. It's
retailed in mighty small qualities at
mighty high figures."
"I forgot myself and spoke angrily
to my wife," remarked Mr. Meekton.
"Did she resent It?"
- "For a moment. But Henrietta is
a fair-minded woman. After she
thought it over she shookv hands with
me and congratulated me on my
He Women have no real intelli
gence. They Bhow the worst judg
ment in the most important matters.
She That is perfectly true, but I
think you ought to be the last person
to call It to my attention.
A mayor is the chief razoo of the
city (when he's in town.)
A-mayor's duty is to wear a silk
hat, pitch the first ball of the base
ball season, pose for moving pioture
men, showing him handing over an
exaggerated (like moving picture
stars' salaries) wooden key to the
city to conventions that horn into
town, and review parades.
After an accident he leads a RIGID
INVESTIGATION and blames every
thing that goes wrong under his ad
ministration as being the fault of the
The only drawback to being a
mayor is that one suffers so much
from nervous breakdown, i
SAVED TIME FOR NORAH
Mrs. Jones rushed into her hus
band's office. "Oh, John!" she cried.
"Norah made a mistake and tried to
start the fire witlf gasoline!"
"Gasoline, eh?" said John calmly.
"Did she get it started?" ,
"Get it started!" cried Mrs. Jones.
"Why it blew her out of the win
dow!" "Oh, well," remarked the philo
sophic John, "It was her afternoon
out' anyhow." Ladies' Home Jour
nal o o
A GOOD TIME WAS HAD
He How did you come out finan
cially with your entertainment for
the Old Ladies' Home?
She The old ladles owe us S50.