OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 21, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-08-21/ed-1/seq-17/

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"on grahdpob's farm gee whiz but
when, you get a bunch of city peepul
out heer on the farm they aint got
no more sents than a rabbit,' and that
aint much, but the funny par about
it is that these city guys have got
the hunch that they got the hicks
backed off the bords
across the road from granpop is
anuther 'farmer who dont have to
work none at all, for his wife keeps
borders from the city ,
a woman and a man coined over
to granpop last nlte to visit & they
started guying the life outer the old
man Until i stepped in
i eaVB to them you had better take
a walk with me around the plase &
i will show you how a farm Is run &
they done that
this feeld here, i says to them, giv
ing grandpop the wink to keep from
lafflng, is where they raise the egg
plants Until they are hatched into
littel chickens
that made them open there eyes
& the lady said i thought they raised
them with hens & i says yes but you
have to plant the hen in a nest first
& over there you see that nise
mild cow, well she gives the sweet
milk and that cross one which. we
has to keep with a yoke on her neck
so she wont jump fences, she gives
.the Bour milk, -& the lady says where
do you get "the buttermilk & I says we
aint got no buttermilk cows' now, but
you catt see 1 down there on the
next farm, & by heck, them fdlks
walked all the way dowh 3 miles to
See a buttermilk, cbw & grandpop
neefl$y laffed his head off
next day wlien tne lady saw me
she turned up her hose, you think
you are smart
& i was too,' dont you think
m wmt E
Now, Bill, here is a subject that
causes' all great writers like G. B.
Shaw and Jess Willard to throw up
their hands when it comes to doing
some "Edgar Allen Poe."
Are you going to, Al? No, Pete,
you have-wonderful confidence in us.
Thanks for them kind words.
Neither can we "explain, but we've
doped them out the -best we could,
so here's looking at you:.
"Wotoen are ih& reason for mar
riage license columns being run in
the newspapers. Women and furni
ture men.afe the only ones who read
them. i. -
There, that's all we dare try to
figure 'em, besides explaining women
ainfF our line.
Ask -us anything else; anything,
Joe, no matter how hard it Is, It'll be
easier to unravels '
The wife of a Chicago man re
turned home one afternoon from
quite an extended visit' in a neigh-,
boring city. Among the first ques-'
tidn put by her to her maid was:
"Have you, noticed that my husband-
missed me very much when I
wa3 away, Elsie?"
"Well," said Elsie, "1 didn't notice
it so much at first, but yesterday he
seemed to be In despair."

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