OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 21, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-09-21/ed-1/seq-17/

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new york. you always' has to
hand it to a lawyer for squeezing the
last drop out of his klient, which is
what they call the suckers that hires
lawyers to get them in or out of trub
bei: this was a man that had his foot
cut off by a autermobell truck, & he
hires a lawyer to get some damidges
for him to the tune of fivel.OOO dol
lars, but he dont get that much for
the owner of the autormobeel settled
for five hunerd iron men
when the one foot guy goes to his
lawyer to 'draw his damidges the
lawyer says to him, mr. smikens i
have been to a lot of eckspense in
time & talent getting this case reddy
for trile & i have had my help in this
offis working hard on.it so i thought
it was best to settel with the de
fendent for $five hundred, & mr.
smikens says well that is better than
nothing & it will let me wipe off that
$50 mortgage on my home
well, the. lawyer sharp says, i hard
ly wood say that, for as i'ecksplaned
i have been out a grate deel of valu
erable time & that must be inqlood
ed in the fee, so you may take this
check for $48 which settels the mat
ter the man took the check and give
it the onct over & it was 48 bones al
rite, so he says to the lawyer will you
pleese stand up so i can see your
feet, and the lawyer says i will bat
what for do you want to see my feet
why, said the man, from the size
of what was coming to me and what
was coming to you i thought maybe
it was your foot & not mine that was
cut off x
A match is a sliver of wood cov
ered with a piece of' the real estate
found where our present day kings,
politicians and many other prominent
citizens are going when their lease
on earth expires. Matches are the
reason for pockets being on vests,
and the only time they are in them
is when the vest is at the cleaners.
A match can be ignited by giving it
to an 18-month8'old baby or by draw
ing it rapidly acroBS a mahogany
piano. Misdirected energy is look
ing for a match on a golf course or
in a newspaper office. 'You'll get
quicker'resultsv in a newspaper office
touching an editorial writer for a
case note than by asking him for a
match. A
o o
"No, I can't go out of town now
for even a day, I might lose one of
my patients."
"Aw, come on! Even if he does
get well you'll get another some
Tommy We're going to move
Johnnie-1 How do you know?
Tommy How do J know.? Didn't
I break a window yesterday and my
mother didn't say a word.
Lady Is that a pedigreed dog?
Dealer Pedigreed! Why, if that
dog could talk he wouldn't speak to
either of us!
, 1 , V . . V - - - alLtxiAfaLtAAACMa,4AJ

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