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wwmmemu mw i u v 9 ii j'n jml.jw&, AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL Nutty Knowledge The very embarrassing and un tidy position a person is put into by the stains on their vests and ties from eatables can be overcome by eating crackers. , Hard water can be made soft by bending it. Clams never suffer from gout and clam chasers never get a "Charley horse." Scientists have figured it out that if a person had aU-the. energy in their jaws that is used to chew a piece of gum all day, said person could bite a dent in a steel rail or a restaurant porterhouse steak one half inch deep. A drum is more musical when the insides are empty than if filled vith Portland cement Goldfish that refuse to swim can be made to look as if they're swim ming by placing the bowl on a pho nograph and starting it. A horse can't be made to go, any faster by pushing, on the reins. o o WHERE PAPA WAS "Muzzer," asked the four-year-old, "did you hear the stepladder when it tumbled over?" "No, dear," said the mother; "I hope papa didn't fall." "Not yet; he s still hanging onto the picture molding." Ladies' Home Journal. oo END OF FRIENDSHIP ' She How did they ever come to marry? He Oh, it's the same old story. Started out to be good friends, you know, and later on changed their minds. o o NO FLOWERS IN 'EM Mrs. Flatbush She has no artistic, tastes. i Mrs. Bensonhurst Why not? Mrs. Flatbush Just look at all .those empty cans in her back(yard. Not a flower in one of 'emj 1 wSffSSP'1 nr y. a lawyer heer got it good & hard the other day when he was try ing a case & a feller by the name of willum smizer was on the witness stand telling things that was agin this lawyer's side of the case, which made him veny sore at the man & he started to ball him out in grate stile purty soon the lawyer found out that mr. smizer "was a veterinarian guy which is a horse dockter so you 'are a horse dockter, the lawyer yells at him,, thinking to make him mad & get him ratteled so he coodent remember anny more things to tejl against his side of the case yes sir, mr. smizer tell him, i am a horse dockter i suppose you think you are a mitey fine horse dockter, the lawyer says at him sarkastic like i have been 1 for 30 yeres, mr. smizer said, & i have had purty good success treating sick horses o yes vij;ess you sent a lot of 'em to the boneyard, too, the smart aleck lawyer said, but can you tell the dif ference between a jackass & a horse, seeing-you purtend toknow so much about horses & mr. smizer says, yes i can tell the difference between a jackass and a horse o, you can, can you, the lawyer sneered athim s yes, mr. smizer said very low, i know the difference, & if i was blind folded i woodent take you fpr a horse. then they had to tell the peepel to stop laffing or they wood be tossed out of the cort room ..-. --, m, . - - - -- rt'- de