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Newspaper Page Text
new,york. maybe henry hoskins
has it in him to be a milliunair that
can get to work at noon & kwit rite
after lunch but that aint bo reason
why he snood give him pay Teglar
said mr. a. morgan to him the day
he" tied the can to him.
henry was a good man mr. mor
gan said, but he never cood get it
threw his head that much bizziness
was done in the urley part of the
morning & he was allways pulling in
a hr. or 2 late
at 1st they talked to him about it
& then they got to grabbing off a
part of his salary for being late but
nothing did that lad anny good, so
the boss says to his manager i will be
down urley tomorrer & maybe i can
change his ways so for the 1st time
in a yere or more the bosswas down
'at seven 30, & he st there and
watched for henry to show up but
henry had been up late the nite be
fore with that swell skirt ne runs
around with & it was neerley halff
passed 8 when he dragged his self in
to the offis.
the boss spotted him & says, good
morning, & henry says good morn
ing, this is a nise morning, & then
the boss got sore & said, say don't
you know what time we begin work
here, in the morning
welT henry replyd to him, i don't
know, for the others are always
working allreddy when i get down so
i can't find out when they begin, but
that aint my fait, is it
henry is hunting his self a nuther
A candidate who casts his vote for
suffrage Is worth two who say the
other fellow; should,
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
By Gene Ahern
Traveling With the Champions
Oo! Lis'en, George! -
What's the row?
They must be a fire in them sleep
ing car. Lis'en to 'em hollerin'.
No, Norman, they ain't no fire in
them sleeping car. That's the Bean
burg Irish regiment under Gen. Car
rigan, called the Boston Red Sox, the
world's champion shillalah-wlelders
of the American league, in a little
friendly free-for-all poker game.
So that's why they're called the
"scrappy Red Sox," huh?
Here comes a fella with a box oi
cigars. Watch 'em, Ed. They're
only supposed to take one, but some
how or other when they reach for it '
three or four cigars get caught in
Ain't they a funny lookm'jgang in
everyday scenery, Amos? They looi
just like us hicks over-sized collars,
red neckties, yaller button shoes,
peg-top trousers and wearing dia
"monds that d make a flat-iron looS
as big as a nickel's worth of radium.
But, George, ain't they supposed
to hie to bed early?
Yes, Joe, there's a coupla baseball
scribes in the game and they'll all
turn in early (in the morning).
NOTHING ON HIM
Jones had the misfortune to get in
the way of an automobile driven, by
a lady and was taken to a hospital,
bht his injuries were not serious, so.
he was immediately removed to the
police station where his assailant
was being held. And as soon as Jbnea
got there the lady started in.
"You know, Mr. Jones," she said,
"you must have been walking very
carelessly. I am a very careful driw
er. I have been driving a car fo
"Youive got nothing on me,
ma'am," said Jones. 'Tve beeq
walking for 34 years."
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