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JUDGED BY HIS WIFE
Purchaser (bringing back his pur chase): This dog a the most fero cious "beast I ever came across, and you said he was as gentle as a woman. " Dealer in Canines That's straight My wife's the only woman I know anything about o o WHAT HE'D LIKE TO SEE "Would you-like to see your wife go into politics .and be a boss?" Certainly, replied Mr. Meekton. "I'll really enjoy having Henrietta step in ana show some of tjhese prac tical politicians what a real boss is like." , o o HER HUSBAND DID "Do you take any periodicals?" asked the minister on his first round on "parish visit. "Well, I don't," replied the wom an, "but my husband takes 'em fre quent I do wish you'd try to get him to sign the pledge." "" o o ' AS THEY ALL DO IT Plumley Well, you've nerve, I should say! Asking me for a fiver and saying nothing about tie ten I loaned you. Flimley Why, man, where's your business-sense? The ten was a war loan for establishing credit HER NEW WEAPON "I see ye've invested in a vacuum cleaner," a neighbor said to Mrs. Jones. "Do ye like it better than the old-fashioned broom?" "You bet yer life I do," Mrs. Jones answered. "I kin knock Jones twice as fur with it" SAME NOW Preacher You ought to make your husba nd think about religion. If he should die you might worry about where -he had gone. ' Mrs. Wayupp Oh, no. I'm used to that I don't know where he is half the- time now. Judge,. AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL! By Gene Ahern "Babe" Ruth, the Boston Red Sox pitcher, has never been asked to write beauty secrets for a woman's magazine. The only things that keep Ernie Shore, the avjator pitcher, front he coming a bass drummer are his knees. All the Red Sox players knock wood for good luck. As the Braves' park, where the world series is to be played, isn't constructed of that ma terial, it'll be kinda tough for them unless ' there are some wrestlers present. " The bird who chirps "The game ain't over until the last man is out" makes us think of them great prov erb, not from Ben Franklin: "Break fast ain't over until the egg is off the chin." Some of the streets in Bahston are so narrow a fellow can't fall over, and so are the doors leading int6 the sporting editor's rooms for fans who want free tickets. s r O O v EXTENUATING "Mr. Sorrel proposed to me last 'night, mother." $ "And "you accepted him, I hope." "No, mother. 1 could never love a man with red hair." "But my dear girl, you should con sider the fact that he has very little of it" N. Y. World. , o o THEN DISCORD "Life is one grand, sweet song with us. Isn't it, dear?" "Yes, wifey." . x "One grand, sweet song. And this morning I want( a few ten-dollar notes." Judge. j o WHAT'S DEEDED FIRST "What do we need for dinner, Mag gie?" asked the mistress. "A new set av dishes, mum," an swered1 Maggie. "Oi've jest thripped over the edge av th' rug." LadW Home Journal.