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Newspaper Page Text
YE OLDE STUFF
"The Broken Growler."
Act 1. Scene: Hotel Lobby.
Characters: Wealthy clubman,
two phoney counts, newly rich uncle,
his niece, six of her schoolmates, war
correspondent and chum just canned
Finale: Ensemble, "So that's the
Act 2. Scene: The Tavern: In the
Mocha and Java mountains.
Finale: Duet Chris and Leah in
pajamas and nightie: "I'll love you
'til the butter melts."
Act 3. Scene.: Lawn party on the
estate of Finkelslein, the millionaire
pitchfork king, in Blarney Blaa, Ire
land. The phoney counts exposed,
five divorced couples make up, the
chambermaid marries the butler,
Chris and Leah leave on their honey
moon. Finale: Ensemble, ""All merry in
free lunch land."
Once upon a time ye small son
went out with ye gang of kids to
play ye game of football instead of
doing ye chores around ye house,
and when he came in for supper ye
father bawled" him out, but didn't tell
ye small son what a model youth he
was when a boy.
The butchers of Voozoo, Africa,
never wrap up a rhinoceros wben a
customer buys one.
A derby with skid chains to prevent
it from sliding down over the ears
has been perfected by a Denver hat
ter. Spaghetti is now served on spools
in Naples owing to the shortage of
spaghetti cutters on account of the
Owing to the peculiar construction
of the pyramids, roof garden on them
would be a poor paying proposition
on account of the roofs being so less
in one place-
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HOW TO PLAY THE FIDDLE
Put on a suit of woolen underwear,
rest the fiddle under the chin. Then
lay the bow on the strings. The un
derwear takes care of the rest.
On account of the war, a suit of
pajamas will be sold from now on
without a vest