OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 17, 1917, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1917-03-17/ed-1/seq-17/

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AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL
Shirts.
A shirt is a carpet for a Vest. It
has two sleeves, rarely more, hang
ing on the east and west corners of
the top. These sleeves act as nifty
dust cloths for wiping off desks.
The shirt holds the1 collar down so
it won't suffocate a man or keep him
from talking. Isn't it too bad the
shirt does that? If it didn't we
wouldn't have any filibusters, would
we?
The shirt is also responsible for
being back of these noisy neckties
that daffy young men shoot last
week's board bill for. The shirt also
acts as a blotter to "keep the under
side of our suspenders clean.
The cuffs on the shirt have a
sponge backed off the boards for
holding water. It is a pleasant sen
sation to wash your hands without
rolling up your cuffs. Try it some
time and see how satisfying it is to
go around all day with a couple of
wet cuffs clinging to your wrists.
We like dark shaded shirts because
they look just as clean a month after
we've worn it as the day we put it
on, providing of course we don't eat
soup or goulash in the meantime. We
,' could overcome that by getting a
. couple of more neckties.
We also like those French cuffs be
' cause on Wednesday and Sunday
nights we can turn them back and
nobody'll know "the difference. .We
always try to avoid fights on those'
, nights because it would mean we'd
"V have to take our coats off.
1 o o
JONAH.
Jonah was a very indigestible gen-
tleman. .
The whale deserved a lot of credit
4i for swallowing him. He may have
: been a fine prophet, but he was a
bum square meal.
, For three days and nights he
scratched, kicked and pummeled
that poor 'brute in the stomach so
it' unmercifully lhat at last the whale
gave up the fight and Jonah at the
same time.
We can sympathize with thai
whale. We know exactly how he
felt We've eaten dinners that acted
just like Jonah did.
o o
CHESTNUT CHARLIE
hey: just a
V -Co
vjj&LCiVWHACTS TU' ANSWER.
1 th - .
'JOKE.
TVV out WMEfct VOV ASKED WHAT tSj
A. DIE
23
4&
I 1 1
.A. PIE HAS To BE MADE BEFORE rri,
loa.weu,

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