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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Well, the price of coal has flopped
and that's the surest sign of spring.
Wise birds say everything has its
drawbacks and every spring has its
The teams hie south and reports
come back they're all in midseason
form. Whether they mean in poker,
pinochle, eating or baseball, wegarn
ble on the first trio and especially on
the third. , We don't see how they
figure this midseason chatter. It
wouldn't do for a fighter to feel Hke'
the tenth round before the fight
started. The sport writers ought to
lay down their forks and think that
The pitchers all promise ttife their
rash season. Their arms all healed
up, etc., but these baseball promises
are neck and chin ahead of a shoe-string
for cracking on the left-hand
side of the middle. All the managers
predict their gang "Will waltz off with
the rag, but there's only one pennant
and, as has been the custom, seven
or so teams nly see It in moving
.It's a great shell game, this base
ball junk. Every spring the same
record, only a new needle. The say
ing goes, "You can fool some of the
people some of the time, but you
caa't fool all the people all of the
time." But when Abe said that, base
ball wasn't invented yet.
MEANT IT FOR HIM '
He was fond of playing jokes on
his wife, and this time he thought he
had a winner.
"My dear," he said, as they sat afc
supper, "I just heard such a sad
story of a young -girl today. They
thought she jvas going bMnd, and so
a surgeon operated on her ami
"Yes," gasped the wife breath
lessly. "That she's got a .young jnan. in ',
her eye!" ended the husband with a
For a moment there was silence..
Then the lady remarked slowly:
"Well, it would all depend on What
sort of a man it 'was. Some of them
she could have seen through easily
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