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The New York herald. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1920-1924, May 16, 1921, Image 7

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GEN. GREENE DEAD;
ONCE POLICE HEAD
Commissioner Under Seth
Low Succumbs to Cancer
at Age of 71.
THREW OCT GRAFTERS
His Shakeup of the Depart
ment One of the Most Sen
sational in Cit-ys History.
HAD A STORMY CAREER
Once Accused of Fostering
Revolutions in Interests of
Asphalt Concern.
Francis Vinton Greene, formerly a
Major General i nthe United States
Army and Police Commissioner for one
year during the administration of Mayor
Scth I,ow. died last night at 7.20 o'clock
at his home, in 62 East Seventy-seventh
street. He had been ili with cancer for
lh? last eight months, and during most
of that time had been unanie to leave
his house. When the end came his wife,
his son, Warwick, and one of his daugh
ters, Miss Katherine ?fJicenc, were at his
bedside.
Gen. Green was w ldelyknown by rea
son of his brilliant military career and
his numerous writings on military and
historical subjects, but the old members
of the Now York Police Department re
member him best as the man who per
haps caused a greater shakeup in tlif
force than any ot\)er Commissipner. He
was named head of the department by
Mayor Seth Low it\ 1902, and almost at
once heads began to fall like apples In a
windblown orchard.
The new Commissioner was no re
s-peetor of persons. iHe clashed at al!
the heads of various t/ireaus and de
parts whom he considered incompetent,
and tho list was lar^e. He is said to
have dismissed pcore high police offi
cials during the first five months of
his administration of the department
.:iar. had been dismissed by other com
missioners any five previous years.
Newspaper articles at the time Commis
sioner Greene was in office credited him
with raising the department to a higher
state of efficiency than it had enjoyed
under any administration since that of
Theodore Roosevelt.
Kniled Graft of Wirdmrn,
One of the radical changes that Gen.
Greene as Police Commissioner made
in the conduct of the department, which
will be recalled by all the old police
officers, was the abolition of the ward
men, who had become an institution
and in cases of graft usually acted us
the go between used by the police cap
tain. lieutenant or inspector and the
gambler and owner of disorderly resorts.
The second day he was in office Com
missioner Greene issued an order send
ing all of the 360 wardmen back to
patrol duty, an dmore than that, trans
ferred them to precincts as far as pos
sible from the one In which they had
been working. At that time he referred
to them as collectors of graft for the
police captains, and declared that he
Intended to stop such practices. One of
the first things, also, that the new Com
missioner said when he went into office
was that lie intended to stop the prac
tice of captains and lieutenants mak
ing scapegowUi of roundsmen and pattoi
irwn.
Gen. Greene was born In Providence,
I!. I., pn June 27, 1850, and was edu
cated at the United States Military
\cadetry at West Point, graduating first
in a class of fifty-eight men in June,
J 870. His first service was in the artil
lery. hut two years after his graduation
he was transferred to the Engineers.
During the four years following this
f ssignment he was employed as assist
snt astronomer anod surveyor with the
joint commission for the survey and
demarcation of the boundary line be
tween the United States and British pos
sess! onr from the Lake of the Woods to
the Rocky Mountains.
Tn 1876 he was assigned to special
duty in the office of the Secretary of
War in Washington, r.nd a year later
was sent abroad by the Government to
observe and report upon the military
operations then being undertaken by the
Unesians against the Turks, being as
? gned as Military Attache to the United
State* Embassy at St. Petersburg. He
accompanied the Russian army In the
field. and was present at all the princi
pal battles of the war. He returned to
the United States In January, 1879, and
was assigned to duty as assistant to
the Engineer Commission In Washing
ton. For the next six years he had
charge of the engineering work upon the
streets, roads and bridge* in the District
of Columbia.
-Mentioned In lie volution*.
Gen. Greene resigned from the army
In 1886. und became vice-president and
later president of the Barber Asphalt
Company. At other times he was also
president of the National Asphalt Com
pany and the Asphalt Company of
America, and is reputed to have made
several million dollars out of these in
terests. Several times he was accused
of fostering and promoting revolutions
in Venezuela to obtain control of the
asphalt lakes of that country and Trini
dad. and ho was also brought promi
nently into the limelight during the'
various investigations of the asphali J
trust. ?
Three years after his resignation from j
the army Gen. Greene entered the New
York National Guard as a Major and j
e. glneer of the First Brigade, and in
1892 he was elected "Colonel of the j
Seventy-first Regiment. He commanded I
that regiment at Camp Black during tire j
?SpanisH War. an<4 went with ii.t ho
Tatn-pa. While there he was appointed
as Brigadier General by President Vie- j
Kinley. and later became a Major Gen
eral. He figured prominently with Gen. |
Merrltt in the operatlona around Manila,
and upon iris return wrote a romprt
hensive report for the War Department.
Gen. Greene resigned from the army j
in 1898. Shortly after the close of the!
war, and was appointed to an important
post in Cuba. He went in' for politics
somewhat after his retirement from the I
army, and succeeded Lemuel E. Quigg
as president of the Republican Count
Committee In July, 1900, serving I
throughout the Presidential campaign.
He retired from politics and became
interested In the asphalt business. For
the last few years he has lived quietly
in New York, with few business con
nections.
In addition to Mrs. Greene, who was
Miss Belle Chevalin. and his son and
daughter. Gen. Greene leaves three other
daughters. Mrs. Charles A. Bindley of
New York and Mrs. George Cotter and
Mrs. Russell Bryant of Buffalo. During
the war his son was a Lieutenant-Colonel
of the United States Air Force.
William Hillman Is First
in Portchester Road Run
With tlic aid of a generous handicap. I
William Hillman, a harrier of the Fin- '
r.ish American A. C., defeated a large j
field of notable runners in the eighth j
mile road run of the Cygnet A. C., de
cided over the roads in Portchester,
X. V., and Fast Portchester, Conn., yes
terday. Gi'von a start of six minutes
and thirty seconds over Frank Zuna.
the American Olympic champion, Frank
Tittertan, the new Metropolitan A. A. U.
cross country title holder, and Willie
Kvronen, a star of other days, all of
whom started from scratch, he breasted
the tape an easy winner, with 200 yards
to spare. The summary:
Ac tual
Pos. Name and Club. Hdep. Time.
1?W. Hillman. Kin. Am. A. C. .6 30 47 22|
2?W. Jackson, tit. Chris. CIub..7 00 48 I'll
3?A. Pchrlng, Morningside A. C.7 30 40 1 I
4?H. Rosen, Morningside A. C. .0 30 48 20
5?S. Weiss, Mohawk A. C t! 30 48 23
6?S.Wheelock.Kts.of St.Antony 8 13 30 ll
Others to cover ronrse wore Ci. Del Vlcchlo, I
1:03: J.
St. Joseph's Catholic Club tfl:00t 48:
Carmody, Mount Vernon K. of C. (8:00t j
30:24; G. Kltzslmmons, Mount Vernon K. of
C. (8:301 80:36; J. C.off. St. Christopher |
Club (6:30) 48:38; J. Durzy, Cygnet A. C.
(6:30) 41M12; L,. Mtlofsky, Morningside A. C.
(3:00) 47:31; R. Ntckerson, Hollywood Inn I
A. A. (8:13) 31:07; C. Mltcfiell. St. Chris- I
topher Club (3;00) 47:56; J. Kane. Mohawk
AO. C. (8:15) 51:13: T. Helns, Mohawk A. C.
17 OO) 30:06. F. later, Mohawk A. C. (6:13) I
40:35; W. Stokelv, St Christopher Club I
.(3.00) 48:38: M. Mace. Yonkers V. M. C. A. I
<7 13) 30:34: W. Roak. Mohawk A. C. (7:00i j
30:40; W. Kennedy, unattaehed (3:00) 48:11;
G. I.awko, Cygnet A. C. (8:15) 51:05; C.
Gresantl, St. Vincent Ferrer A. C. (8:30i j
33:32; IV 7,ab1udofsky, Morningside A. ('. |
(6:30) 50:47; G. Mazzucca, Mohawk A. O.
(8:15) 33:32; V. Miller, Mount Vernon K. of
C. (8:50t 53 16; N. Smith, Yonkers Y. M.I
C. A. (7:15) 32:10; E. Tanzy. Yonkers Y. 31.
C. A. (6:45) 61:50; M. fVhokert, Mornlngsld.
A. a. (8:30 ) 33:47: O. I,aakso. Mlllrose A. A
1.3:00) 48:28; R. McDnugal. St. Christopher I
Clllb (8 OOt 53:34; .1. Rossi, Cygnet A. C I
(7:00) 88:14; F Titterton, Mohawk A. C.
(scratch) 46:14; N. Keuahan, 5'onkers Y. M.
(' A. (8 30) 54 "0; 1. Roller, Mohawk A. C.
18:30) 54:57; M. Ralnnev, Hollywood Inn
A. A. (8:00) 54:32; V. Kyronen, Mlllrose
A. A. (srra'cht 46:38; E. Telge, Yonkers
Y M C A iS 00) 64:30; E. Carroll, Mount
Vernon K of C. (8 30) 38:34. II Morrell,
Cygnet A. (' (8 .30) 5.3:44; F. Martin. Paul
1,1 a. (' (8:30) 5.3:46; C. Hurley. Mount
Vernon K. of ('. (8 30) 35:32; N. GlRnnko
pitlos. unattached (sCrateh) 17:43; F. Mar
tin. St. Christopher Club (6:30t 51:25; I,.
Marshall, Ctgnet A. C. i8:,30i 36:28.
Total
TEAM SCORE Points.
1- Mornlngslde A. C. .2 3 0 18 22- 54
2 St. Christopher Cltth. 1 i in II 23-55
3?Mohawk A. C 4 11 12 13 16? 66
I Mt. Vernon K. of c.. 3 6 II) 27 2D- *6
6?Cvgnet AC 8 17 24 28 30?107
fl_Yonket . Y. M. C A 15 20 21 25 26 107
SPECIAL NOTICE
We will sell to the highest bidder
PUBLIC AUCTION
ON
MONDAY, MAY 23rd
Commencing at 10 A. M.
10,060 Alaska Sealskins
Dressed. Dyed and Machined
For Account,
U. S. GOVERNMENT
AND
112 North West
Coast Sealskins
Dressed, Dyed and Machined
For Account Other Shippers
Show Days .Commence May 18th
We cordially invite the fur
trade to attend this sale
FOUKE FUR CO.
Public Auction Pur Salts
2 South Fourth St. St. Louis, U. S. A
SUN SPOTS MOVING
AWAY FROM EARTH
Sol's Rotation Will Soon End
Interference With Wire Ser
vice on This Globe.
GROUP 9t,0?jO MILES LONG
Naval Observatory Officials
Say Large Spots at This
Time Are Unusual.
Washington, May la.?Interruption
of telegraphic communication bv elec
trical influences, ir due to the presence
of spots on the sun as set forth in the
Brashear theory, will pass away within
forty-eight hours In the belief of offi
cials at the Naval Observatory here.
The present spot or group of spots on
the face of the sun, estimated by Naval
Observatory officials as 04,000 miles In
length and 21,0"0 wide, was nearest the
earth last night and to-day. through
rotation of the sun. was moving away
from the solar meridian. Naval Observa
tory officials said that leaving out of
consideration the decreasing effect of
the spots on electrical currents on the
earth through the usual breaking up of
the spots the regular rotation of the sun
on its axis would within a few days
carry the spots so far from the earth
as to make their influence negligible.
Tile theory that the aurora borealis
<northern lights) which sends "earth
currents" through telegraphic wires. In
terrupting communication, results from
sun spots was advanced by Dr. .Tolin A.
Brashear. 'the late Pittsburgh astrono
mer. The theory never has been defi
nitely accepted. Naval Observatory offi
cials asserted, but the fact that spots on
the sun usually are accompanied by
electrical disturbances has resulted in
almost general acceptance of the theory.
The spots which now are present on
the face of the sun and which were visi
ble to the naked eye to-day with the
use of smoked glass were first photo
graphed at the Naval Observatory last
Monday, when the rotation of the sun
brought that side of the solar body
within view, The spots at that time,
according to Dr. G. H. Peters, an offi
cial at the observatory, who photo
graphed them, wore about one and a
half to two days old.
The following day the photographs
showed the spots to be much agitated,
the gaseous vapors of which they are
composed resembling a cyclonic storm on
the earth. Dr. Peters said. Yesterday's
photograph, taken about noon, showed
Pet Dog Dies at Sea
and Is Embalmed
Special Cable to Tim Nbw York Mekai n
<"Pimebt, mil, by The Nrw York Herald.
New York llcrald bureau.
May 14.
^OT desiring to see her pet dog
which died during the voyage
on the Aquitania buried at sea,
a wealthy American woman
whose name is withheld had the
ship's doctors embalm the ani
mal while the shin's carpenters
made a mahoqany casket in
which the dog was brought to
Paris after passing the French
customs inspectors,
v J
the spot.? to be near the solar meridian.
Naval Observatory officials said that
presence of such a large group of spots
at this time was most unusual, inasmuch
as the prevalence of the spots move In
an eleven year cycle and the apex of
prevalence occurred about four years
ago.
EDUCATIONAL BEQUEST VALID.
Fifteen Vnunic Folk of Oregon
Benefit l>y Derision.
Portland, Ore., May 1".?A large
number of young men and women of
Lake county are provided with an edu- i
cation as a result of a court decision
which held valid the will of Dr. Ber
nard Daly, deceased capitalist of Lake
view. An attempt of fourteen relatives
to declare the will Invalid failed Tin '
will provided a $700,000 trust fund fori
the education of l^tke county young men
and women.
Dr. Daly left a large fortune and a .
will providing that within five yean af
ter his d' alh all his property, with a few
exceptions, should be sold and the
money converted into an educational 1
fund that would aid no less than fifteen j
young men and women of his "beloved
Lake counv" annually to complete the |
road to knowledge unhampered by finan- j
trial difficulties.
GIRL'S GET RICH QUICK PLAN.
It Is Ilnsed on Citptnre of 10O Files
at WanUrgin.
WAUKBOAN, 111., May 15.?If Marian
Rostrom. 10. ddbsn't earn at least
million dollars this summer she Is going
to he a pretty disappointed little girl
If she does, the city of Waukegan is
going bankrupt.
The lVe.ukegan councllmen have an
nounced that each child will receive 10
centa for every hundred flies captured
and taken to the official fly counter.
"And they told us." Marian explained,
"that each fly produces 5 billion other
flies each Rummer. "So T am going to
capture one hundred flies and put 'em
in a cage and sec what happens."
SAVE INTELLECTUALS,
IS APPEAL OF GORKY
He Says Thousands in Russia
Face Starvation.
?Special Cable to Inn Nrw York Hp.iui.d
Cupi/ripJif, toil, bp Tiie New York; Hkkai d.
?? York Hi'raid Hurnau. I
I'aria. Mat 14. i
The Intellectuals of the world are
asked to come to the rescue of their
famished colleagues in Russia through
an appeal Issued here by Matlme (Jorky
who says that iRussia has only suffi
cient food to keep the population alive
a few weeks and that under existing
conditions the professors and educated
(?'asses*will he the first to succumb.
"I Tore in Petrogrnd the lack of food
stuffs Is so absolute," Hays Gorky, "that
within a few weeks the whole popula
tion will be famished in the strictest
sense of the word. Those who are not
prepared to battle against it, such as
children and the educated classes, will
he the first victims."
He Is asking that foodstuffs bo
shipped to him personally, care Maison
dcs Savants. Pet rograd. The writer |
adds that "four thousand five hundred I
professors may thus be saved. They do
not want to sign this appeal for they
Aould rather die than hen That is why
I have decided to address the educated
world."
FRENCH MERCY SHIP
AIDS SICK FISHERMEN
Sainte Jeanne d'Arc Now on
Her Annual Mission.
Havre, Mn.v 14.?Somewhere off Nova
Scotia and the Banks of Newfoundland
the mercy ship Sainte Jeanne d'Arc is
engaged on her annual mission of pick
inp up the ill and sick among the flsher
nvn who "go down to tho sea in shlpv"
She can care for the sick fishermen un
til they can be landed at the fisher
men's homes at Saint Pierre de Mlquelon
or at Faskrinsfjord, Iceland.
She is a neat little craft of 30" tons
and carries a crew of thirty-one Breton
sailors. The. French navy puts i doc
tor on board and the captain and the
chaplain are botli war heroes who have
won the I^egion of Honor and the Croix
de Guerre. The expenses are met by
voluntary subscriptions among the
fisher folk in Brittany and Normandy.
"ADAMLESS EDEN" IN LONDON.
To Kr Small 1'nrk Where Working
Girl* May Kent.
London May 14.? What Is described
as an "Ada^nless Eden" is about to he
opened here in the form of a small park
where London working girls may rest
and meditate undisturbed by young
men.
The plan originated with the Metropol
itan Public Gardens Association, which
is seeking to obtain for the purpose four
?teres of waste land near Hyde Park.
GIRL FLIER LOOPS
LOOP 119 TIMES
Continued from First Page.
roared suddenly and the plane jumped
forward. There were shouts of horror
from the crowd and Depew and "Casey"
Jones, another OurtiM flyer and a score
of others dashed after the speeding
plane. They could not reach it.
The plane, bouncing and curving about
the field, gained flying speed and leaned
upward into the air. It skidded danger
ously to one sic and for a minute a
sideslip to earth seemed certain. Then
It reeled to the other side, flying higher
all the time. Tn a crazy, erratic circle it
roared around the field and. finally
darted downward As it was about to
crash nose on into the ground it sud
denly levelled off and made a bumpy
landing While the crowd cheered the
plane lurched back to Its atarttng place.
The final blast of its propeller blew
Mine. VVuei Ill's hnt, veil and hair of her
head, revealing the smiling features of
Hill Purcell, aerohntlo pilot.
Some llnlr Itnisliit- Flying.
Bert A 'ostn, who handles a piano as if
he had a low opinion of his own value
to flip world, thrilled the crowds again
and again by his daring etunts In nn
Orenco scout loaned for the occasion by
?lie army air service. There was noth
ing In the line of Itrrnielman turns, bar
rel rolls, falling loafs, tail spins and
vertical hanks that fhe did not try out
at low altotudes. 'Ansaldo pilots also
did stunts.
Sergeant (William H. Spare of Mitchel
Field made a 3,000 foot drop from an
army Pe Havlland and landed safely In
his own field. W. K. Oilmore and Pilots f
Depew and Jones did some formation
flying in three organs Curtiss Orioles.
During tho afternoon many spectators I
took flights in commercial machines.
After al lthe flying was over, some
time around 7 o'clock, it suddenly oc
curred to a few members of the Aero
flub to take a look at their field club. ,
l/ntII then all eyes and thoughts had
been turned upward. After a long
search It was found in the building that
former! yhoused the officers club of
Hazelhurst Field.
TO SEE BAZ3Y: FUHJS IT DEAD.
Milwaukee, Wis., May 15.?John Voii
rath, 21 years old, was arrested on a
charge of wife abandonment. When
told that a baby had 'been born since he
left homo, five months ago, he asked to
?pe his family before being plax-cd in
jail.
Detectives took him to his wife, and
after a hasty reconciliation he asked to
| see the ibaby. The wife conducted him
to the parlor and left him staring at a
tiny white coffin.
The baby bad died two hours before
the father was arrested.
Our new prosperity, our foi ei?n
t'ade, depends on cable com
munication.
ALL AMERICA CABLES
:? the only American owned
JOHN L. MERRILL, Pres. i able line to Central and South
Main oabi. office, so Broad stre-t \nierica. Route your cables
BRANCH OFTICBS? "Via All AmericaYear, of
ram Fifth * ? Bii.ini-Vanderbill 846-t successful onerat'.^n have
:t rit'h W
136 Franklin St.
26 Spruce St.
7 Cortlandt St
Mad. Sq. 5066 proved the efficiency of "A
Franklin
H&ekman
Cortlandt
Franklin -?-? ? ?? c
Hp e ken an 2788 America i>er\
brill brothers
Chauffeurs' Outfits
SUIT, OVERCOAT ANI>
CAP TO MATCH
$75.50 V
It is interesting, and pet*
haps *igui6xantf that car
owners and their chauf
feurs both praise these
Chauffeurs'OutBw. Dor
ublc all-wool Oxford
Grey Whipcord, smartly
tailored.
Coat &. Tronsets $34^50
Overcoat ... 36J}Q
Cap 3?50
Other complete outfit*.
$S>&30 and $123.50
trad for dorrC and iO?itti0od
booklet diootnj imhat tin
Cbattficmr tkoidJ war
Qutl
Broadway at 49th Street
POTA RY
BOOKS
on all subjects by all publishers
A.G SEILER
]7?A Amsterdam \v ?
WIRE NAILS
COATED ?SMOOTH
Let us quote on your requirements
ROY L. BROWER CORPfa
86 Front St NY. Tel. eow. Grn 6829-9
ALEXANDER HAMILTON
INSTITUTE
Course in Executivo Thaining
13 Astor Pl<6cc, NewYorK
GEHRING HOTEL DIRECTORY
A Travelers Guide - Listing
QOOO Hotels - Po? kct Size
f Ffh.T-: (JPOHJ RBWE9T
CHAS E GEHRJNO Rot??-i*n
I'lM Brosdvuy Mpw'itit p
Loss -Damage -Delay
Strict Your
Claims to the
EQUITY FREIGHT
CLAIMS BUREAU
3SO 13roatf\Mjy
HULL GR1PPEN &C0
HARDWARE TOOLS CUTLERY
*vrv>obilc. CLtCTBicAu. PLunenn.
9U1DIOS lU'NrCRS SUPPLIES
Phcnr GBAMPPCY 3 306-M THIRD AV
KEYSTONE FINANCE
CORPORATION
Mollis H Searlea FV?a
Oudrnnty Ti-ust Building
[>22 Fifth Avr> New York NY
NEW
NETHERLAND
BANK
41 West 34 th Street New York
SAFE DEPOSIT-VAULTS
Franklin Prices
Touring, $2800 \ Brougham, $3500
2-Passenger I Demi Coupe,
Runabout, $2700 $2950
4-Passenger Demi Sedan,
Roadster, $2750 j $3150
Sedan, $3850 Chassis, $2300
f. o. b. Syracuse
FRANKLIN MOTOR CAR CO.
OF NEW YORK
'628 Broadway, New York
Olmn A. Tindole. president
. Glenn W. Tisrinle. Secretary
WEAVER
SELLS GOOD CLOTHES
?
Where Columbus meets
Broadway a? cb'n St
BUTTLE
for FLOORS
BUTTLE PARQUET FLOOR CO J
t>07 w 4~!>r4 St. Lonq?cr? -4:5?
The Square deal in
Business makes an
endless cha in of
more Business
That's the Rotary
Idea?and ours.
CHAS. G. WILLOUGHBY. Inc.
110 West 32d St.. N. Y.
The Largest Camera Supply
House in the World.
ELM GATTLE e CO.
JSTO Firt l\ Ave it"*
mm O' teoecfe
DELPARK
HAND-FINISHED
So^t Collars
THE
V
NEW YORK
'HAT fast-disappearing virtue,
true courtesy, is a prime factor
of the great popularity of The Annex.
Here a guest is made to feel that his
comfort and his wishes precede all else.
Frank. E. Jaf>o, Resident Manager
r0P >2nd to 3 3rd Street and Broad war
Got These Symptoms?
Cleaners CBs Dyers
Aren't fluffy, clean blankets,
spotless hangings and curtains
a ioy in the Fall i Send them
to Rees & Rees now. You 7
be glad you did!
2&J36 East 40th Street. N. Y. C
Tel. Murray Hill 4561 -4562-4563
NON-PLATE
ENGRAVING^
11C' West 56?Street
".'Icohotic-Circle .3959
FAC-SIMILE
TYPEWRITTEN LETTERS
0. H. AHREND
R'2 Dunne "V Worth 205
A Lumbar Yard just off Broadyrty
JVf WRIGHT LUMBER.CO'
,SM Ci ; - ,; .a ,1: t ,? i Lj l j j J140-152 W 38* St.
(Mr. Sinclair, a telephone at his ear. a fountain pen in his hand and a cigar
in his mouth ?all three operating at the same time?looks up to greet a lost soul a?*-* - i _ , _ .,
who wanders in looking as though it would take a ton of T S T to raise his drooping tm Si | Also oas.h, Doors, Mou.dmq Etc
spirits.)
Mr. S. (putting up receicer)?Hello, Parker, where have you drooped
from? Haven't ?een you for long enough?where have you kept yourself?
Mr. P. (mournfully)?That's it?that's the trouble?haven't been able
lately to keep myself. See the cigar I'm smoking? Slimy weedl A six-center.
Best I can afford now.
Mr. S. (taking box of real cigars from desk)?'That's easily fixed. Ha\r
one of these. Same old brand. One whiff and you're floating on clouds of
crepe de chine!
Mr. P. (taking one)?Lucky for you, you can still afford 'em.
Mr. S. (qulcbly)?1 can t. Rut I buy them I buy them to make myself
think I can afford them. And by gosh, if I think that way long enough I
will be able to.
Mr. P. (pityingly)?Piffle! You fallen for that mental control bunk.
too?
Mr. S. (smiling)?I don't call it that?but whatever it is, it works. I !'
tell you just how you feel.
Mr. P. (remonstrating) Don't! i know how I feel.
Mr. S. (persuasively)?Yes. I know you do. But let me show you w! at
a crack diagnostician I am on cases of business blues When vou get up
in the morning you hate to use ton much soap in your bath for fear you're
wasting it?your stomach i< unfriendly to your breakfast you ran t get out
of the house quickly enouyh. lest your wife tell you one of the kids must
have a new pair of shoes Some mornings when it looks ?s thouyh it's going
to rain you consider the advisability of not buying a paper, trusting to the
fellow next to yoj in the subway has ir.g one with big headlines.
Mr. P. (sighing deepu/) Yes. I've even thought of that
Mr S. (resuming) Before you open your mail to see if there s a sign of
new business coming in. you sit for a half hour wondering whether you're
going to be able to meet the office rent And during the meditations you
have visions of yourself hanging around the lobbies of office buildings where
you have friends, hoping to make a touch when they go out to lunch. Don't
speak! I see it in your ryes that I've struck a tender spot! All day you sit
in your office, or some other fellow's office, talking about the business depres
sion and how so-and-so's lost his shirt and you expect to, soon.
Mr P (amazed) Are you a mind reader?
Mr. S. (laughingly)- No. I m not a mind reader. I'm speaking from
bitter experience. 1 had all these symptoms up to a month ago. What's j i i ?i? ?7 C
more, there are several million people in this country with the self-same symp- j LJ 1 L
toms, at this minute. Now for an eye opener. Have you ever sat down
at the end of one of these days of unconfined gaiety and pondered what you Q I I C I N. | \C NA A N.1
have done during the twenty-four hours to make the clock go round? Nothing J I I L- 11 N IN. ( \ r~\ I N
? but give the old bus another ahove dovn the toboggan to the perdition |j | || Gndc^i-noyr^
how-wows! I got wise to my symptoms in tune.
Mr. P. (wanhj) - What did you do? | ITHOGR A PH ERS
Mr. S. (briskly) What you see me doing now. Up to yesterday business
wasn't one bit better than it has been these past six months. But I made
myself smile when 1 waked, no matter how sour 1 felt. I whistled while my _____
bath was running, even though I couldn't keep on the key I made my bacon
and eggs taste like ambrosia Every one I met during the day who sang a 2 DUANE ST
funeral march into my ears I shocked by coming bsck with a bit of jarr ! mc\ * I r\r? Y
ioahed myself spoofed yours truly?put the Indian sign on old General j !NfcW I C2i\N
Depression and by the Lord Harry, I 've routed the jinx! They say liko attra-!,
like. Be an undertaker and they'll bring you stiffs! Be a dynamo and they'll
bring you fuel business fuel. I'm getting mine.
Writt'-n for the Rotary Club of New York by Rotation A W.
Drink More Hire Milk
Sheffield Farms
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