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5 TO 8 VOL Iii, NO. 281. NEW POET NEWS, VA., SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 185)8, P R TP.TT SINGLE COPY, TWO CENTS t ll-lVV-lii ONE WEEK, TEN CENTS. SOME OLD SAYINGS. FAMILIAR TO EVERY ONE, BUT FEW KNOW THEIR SOURCE. The Man Who Delights In luvestfsating All Sorts or Uilil Tilings ltuba Peter to l';i> Faul, Uuys a l"lg In u l'oko and Lets the- Cat Out of the Hag. "Do you know who Mother Carey is?" asked the man wliu delights in investigat? ing nil sorts of odd things and who is nev? er so happy as when following up somo unusual line of thought. '"She's a chicken fancier, I imagine," replied the man who takes things as they coino without question. "At any rate (die's seldom mentioned except in connec? tion With her chickens." "Mother Carey," said the investigator, and he took another look at the book he hold in his hand as if to guard against the possibility of mistake, "is the Virgin Mary. Tho name comes from the Latin 'Mater earn,' meaning 'Mother dear,' and her chickens arc the stormy petrels which the sailors formerly believed wore sent to warn them of approaching storms. I tell" you, my boy, there's a great dual that's in? teresting in these odd expressions and words if one takes the trouble to look it up Now, there is tin' saying, 'Don't care n rap.' How would you interpret that? What does rap mean?" "As an offhand guess, I should say that It was a substitute for a word that begins with'd' and which is not supposed to bo used in polite society." "You would be wrong." asserted the man with the book. " "Kap' is derived from 'R. A. P.,' which in turn comes from India and stands for rupees, annas und pice, representing tho money of that country. The expression is almost an ex uct equivalent to that other,' equally com luon, '1 don't care a cent.' Now, I sup? pose if some ota: should ask you about '.lack and .Mil,' who 'went up a hill,' yon would say they were simply nursery char? acters." "I certainly should.'' "And you would be wrong again. Mack' was the name of a pitcher made of waxed leather, and 'Gill' was'and still is a measure of capacity. That is how they happened to go after water. Somebody was doubtless carrying iliem and careless? ly dropped them." "When you say "Hy .lingo!' 1 suppose you don't mean anything except that you are excited or angry?" "?That's all." "Nevertheless you are literally swearing by the evil one, for the word is from Mon co,' which means 'devil' in the Masque language. 1 suppose, also, that you re? gard 'carpet knight' as a term of re? proach?" "Naturally." "Yet Henry Irving is a carpet, knight Sowas Tennyson, and so are ami were many ot hers of whom England is P^'yu^ by Iiis achievements in thu world of sci? ence or the arts or, in fact, anywhere ex? cept in battle. He may bo really more de? serving of the title than any of those who won it. by the sword." "You mils' put iri most of your time with dictionaries and cyclopedias," sag (jested the man who takes things us they come. "'Notar, all I am simply sufficiently Interested to look up these odd expressions when I run ucross them to sei- what they really mean anil whether we use them properly. Do you know why tho patrons of the "top gallery of a theater are railed the gods:-' ' ? Never even gave the sn! eject a thought.' ?'Well, they arc so described an the Drury Luna theater in London, first, be? cause tile ceiling wits painted in imitation of a blue sky. with enpids and angels liv? ing about, 1 imagine the term 'battle royal' conveys an iiica of grandeur to you in the lighting line." "1 should think it ought to bo lather thrilling." "Nevertheless it was originally nothing but a cockllghting Uirm ami was used to describe a light in which three, live or seven birds were put into the pit ami left until all but, one hud been defeated. How do you suppose wo got the expression 'cock ' and bull story?' " "Give it up." "Yon ought to investigate these tilings If you arc going to make use of them. A mull ought to know something about, what he is saying. This comes lo us from thu time of the reformation. The papal bulls had a cock on the seal, and of course there were a great, many people of that day who were inclined to discredit, any? thing in thu cock mid bull line. Hut the expression that-doubt less will interest you liiost is, '1 don't care a dam.' " "You what?" " '1 don i cue a dam!'?the dam with? out the 'n,' of course." "What difference cocs that, make?" "All iheditfcivnce in the world. D-o-m Is a coin in India equivalent. Man English twopence If you arooaughc making that remark in a loud lone some time, it, may be worth something to you to know that there is such a coin li v. ill help you to' explain matters Now, w here do you sup? pose the words 'peeler' and 'bobby,' mean? ing policeman, conic from?" '?Again I give it, up." ?'From tho name of Sir Robert Peel the founder of the London police force." "Do you do anything except look up these things?" asked the man who takes things us they come. "Oh, yes," replied the man of an Inves? tigating turn of mind. "When you get into the habit, of looking into the origin of the expressions you run across, you du it as an amusement at odd times. Now, yesterday it suddenly occurred to mu that I didn't know why it is that we'rob Peter to pay Paul.' " " Did you find out?" "Certainly. In |?M!> several estates lie longing to Westminster abbey were grant ed to St. Paul's cathedral for repairs and maintenance and Westminster abbey hap? pens to be dedicated to St. Peter. There is an interesting story connected with 'buying a pig in a poku' too." " Let 's have. it. " "A countryman once nut, a cat In ii poke or sack ami sold it in the market place as a suckling pig. Tho customer didn't in? vestigate his vmrchas? then, and when ho did lie very naturally 'let the cat out of the bug.' There, you have two explained at once.' "It's rather interesting, isn't it?" said the man who takes tilings as they come. "I believe I'll look up the next odd ex? pression I como across myself." "Do," returned the investigator. "I'm Bine you will finil it quite as interesting as the genealogical fad and a lot more in? structive. "?Chicago Post. Salutes the Quarterdeck. A naval seaman has onco every day to Jtilute tho quarterdeck of his ship, eveu if so officer Is upon it LESSONS IN SLANG. Tho Teuchel- IIcc>m Well, but Soon Cams to Grief. In spite of the fact that she wanted to learn a little something about the subject, it seems probable that she was better versed in smno features of it than he thought. In tuuth, the demure appear? ance of a girl or a woman dees not neces? sarily make it safe to draw any conclu? sions as to her knowledguof those features of our language not usually recognized in polite society. "John," sho said, "I want you to givo me the meaning of some slang words." "Whv, of course," ho replied. "Fire ahead." There is nothing that pleases a man more, you know, than any sort of an in? timation from a woman that ho knows more thai: sin: does about any subject. Things of that sort occur so seldom. -What s ii oiuchr' " "That's easy," he replied. You know, in the west, the knot a cowbov ties in ids saddle girth is called a cinch, tho feature of it being that it positively will not slip or conn' loose. From that wu_sort of rea? son that?er"? "Yes." "Well, it conveys the idea of something that holds tight." "Like mat rimony'r" "Weil, not exactly. Matrimony is sonic times a cinch, but not always?not by a good deal." There was just n! suggestion of some sinister meaning underlying this, hut bo fore she had timo to go very deeply into it ho hastened to explain that cinch meant something that was easy?a certainty. "For instance," lie went on, "when 1 made tip my mind to ask you to marrry me, it was a cinch that 1 would get you." "Oh, it was. was it:-" she demanded, suddenly showing unmistakable signs of aggressiveness. "And what, is a bluffy Can you tell me that?" "Why?er?er?a hlulT is?er"? "When you told mo you could support me in tin: stylo lo which I had been accus? tomed." she interrupted,"! suppose that was a bluff." Sometimes a man whoso bump of humor is abnormally developed is uimhlu to set the point of a .joke when he is the butt ol it. Possibly that may explain the strained relations that existed in that household for as much as half a day.?Chicago Post Pouring Oil oil TTre.iMcd Waters. Tim Indiana was kept dry by the drip? ping of oil from both hows, and, although tremendous seas were running and break? ing, they could not come on board. This was certainly a most practical il? lustration of the old saying as to the "pouring of oil on troubled waters," a proverb as old as the Bible, but only very recently applied, thanks to the hydro graphic ollice of the United States, and now very generally followed by seamen the world over. It was tin American also (Kedlicld) who first thoroughly found out IWUv^Vito^'SSlAte .Iml'^J'iUilV^irseameii ate forever indebted. In using oil it is astonishing how small a quantity will sullice?just a quart or two in a hag stuffed with oakum hung over the bows and allowed to drip drop by drop on the sea, where it spreads out in a thin greasy Ulm over tlio surface of the water. Over the film the wi.-.d slips, as it were, and lias no power to bank the wafer up into waves which would break over the ship. Hundreds of reports are on lile it: the oflicc attesting the marvelous results of this simple agent of safety.?St. Nich? olas. _ Afglmij Kxcllisiv; ucss. In the mailer of trade and passage through bis country the ameer is irrecon? cilably obdurate. liefe again Iiis inor? dinately suspicious character comes in, for no trade king in- syndicate has yet been able to move him in this mutter, though he must sec quite plainly that the opening up of Afghanistan to the henellts of ex? ternal trade would eventually enrich the country and improve ids own revenues. With similar jealousy and want of trust? fulness in the motives of others, he closes his country to foreign travelers almost as selfishly a"s the Tibetans have closed theirs. It is only to sj.ial individuals of rank and importance that lie will concede tlio privilege of a protected passage, albeit there is, comparatively speaking, little danger involved in traveling in Afghan? istan. Tlu' writer was very recently in w hat was years ago one of the most unciv? ilized bazaars in the country, and the Af? ghans were most civil and obliging.?Iie vicw of Reviews. Duly Marked It Out. A lovelorn youth had quarreled witlt his ladylove, and with bitter, angry words they parted, and tic decided that life was no longer worth living. Abruptly turn? ing into a barber's, be sat in a vacant chair and calmly requested the barber to cut his throat. Tlio barber acquiesced, and, tucking tho cloth round Iiis neck, ll.vcd the head rest so t hat the customer's chin was well ele? vated. Then drawing a stout pin from the corner of his waistcoat ami bidding it firmly between his linger and thumb, he drew the pin quickly across the neck of the man. Immediately, with a scream worthy of a red Indian, the despairing onu leaped from the chair, shouting: "Surely, surely you have not done It?" "t'b, no, sir!" said the barber. "Sit down again, sir. I've only jutuked it out!"?Pearson's Weekly. Anecdote of Aldrich. A very clever anecdote is told of Thom? as Bailey Aldrich. tine day the distin? guished author happened to saunier into an auction room while a salo of rare edi? tions, old manuscripts and autographs was going on. " Tlio auctioneer, holding in Iiis I hands a bundle of letters, said: "Ladies j and gentlemen, I have hero two auto? graphs which were written by a man named Thomas Uailey Aldrich. I shall now start them for you at. the price of two for 5 cents." No bids were made, and thuy were sold for that sum. Mr. Aldrich, in speaking of the incident afterward to a friend, said, " I wouldn't have cared at all if they had gone for 5 rents each, but 'twu for 5' reminded mo very forcibly of little apples."?Philadel? phia Post. A McHiiingluKtf Term. Hicks?When people mean to mako tilings exceedingly uncomfortable for a man, they speak about having a picnic with him. Wicks?1 know. Just ns though people who have picnics ever have a good time!? Boston Transcript. Tho bachelor who builds air castles usually lives in a lint after he guts mar? ried.? Chicago News. In tho sixteenth century frogs were con? sidered fish and allowed on fast days. A WICKED MAM. How tie IManm-d to Turn tho Tables on IJIh Unsuspecting Wife. Ho looked ut his watch, debated with himself for a minute und then said, "Go on with the game. I'll sic in a little lon? ger." "Likely to he somebody sitting up for ?''fe'?re'td \m\" was the reply. "Possibility that the party who is sitting up will he mad clear through?" inquired the player opposite. "Not only a possibility, but a certain? ty," answered the man who had looked at . his watch, "and I don't mind saving that ; if it was any other night 1 wouldn't daro slay another minute." "What is there peculiar about tonight?' asked the dealer. "The fact that 1 received this today," replied the player as ho took an envelope from his pocket and held it up. '?Letter:-" they asked. "No; bill." he answered. "Milliner's, bill." "I don't sec"? liegnn one of the others. I "Why, it's simple enough, " returned the J man with the bill. "Can't you always lind something to kick about in a mil? liner's bill:-" They admitted that they usually could "Well," ho went on, ' there's an item for a hat here that's all right. She told me she was going to get it and what it would cost, hut. there's another item of for ribbons and things that would give lue a chance to make my roar. I'll turn loose the minute I get, in the house? before she has a chance to say a word." "Well?" they said. "Well," ho answered, "that will put her on the defensive at the start, and then I'll keep it uii until a curtain lecture or any kind of a sarcastic reference to she club is about as far from her thoughts as wo are from the Philippines. .lust you show me a man who can't work out his own salva? tion when he once succeeds in putting a woman on tho defensive, and I will show you a man who has not been married long. Give mo two cards, please."?Chi? cago Post. IT BROKE AN ENGAGEMENT. That Old Problem About a Picket Fence Over a Hill. Dan Cupid sallied out onco upon a day and aimed an arrow at- a youth and a maid whom I know. The aim was true, and presently the maid was wearing a solitaire diamond on the third finger of her loft hand, star of promise of a plainer ring which was to gleam there by and by Ev? erything went well till one day the youth received a letter from a third cousin of his out. in Denver, a simple, innocent letter, with a postscript. "P. S.," it read. "Will It tnko mnro pickets to build a fence overu hill or right straight through tho hill, the pickets in both cases to be the same distance apart and to be set perpendicular to a horizontal line drawn through thu base of tho hill?" Of course tho youth read thu letter to i the maid, and she said right, off: "Why, what an awfully* silly questioni Of course it would take more to go over tho hill." And tho youth said: "No, it would take precisely tho snmo number." Then she fell hack on Euclid and the two sides of a triangle, with certain cal? culations, in which reference wits made to 'Pi K square," and he pinned his faith to a simple diagram with the banisters of tho front stairs and in tho hall as tin object lesson to clinch his argument. They couldn't, agree, and they parted in cold? ness, meeting later only to part in anger. He says she is obstinate, and she, 1 regret to say, calls him pigheaded. The soli? taire is gonu and happiness witli it, and after all that sho thinks it will take more pickets to build the fence over the bill, and ho is sure it won't. What do you think??Washington Post. A Gladstone Anecdote. The following story of Mr. Gladstone is told by thu Sundui'latid correspondent of the Leeds Mercury: "Years ago 1 was i:i Hawarden, and in talking to an old man who said he was older than Mr. Gladstone by a year or two he told mo ho knew Mr Gladstone since a few days after lie was married. This old mun in his younger days usod to carry pig iron from a ship or boat to a foundry some miles distant. Ho bad a hill to ?i up. miji lie Uad tu put Iiis shoulder fd 'Hie wheel Onu day Mr Gladstone was going up I ho hill, and hu, tuu, pul his shoulder to lite wheel until he (jot to the top. "Tile man rested his horse t:t the top of the hill, and an old hum breaking stones said, ' Do you know who that was who put his shoulder to the wheel?' Tho carter said, 'No.' 'Well, that is Miss Catherine's husband.' was Sandy*H Dreadfully Sudden Demise. It still happens occasionally that tho price of sonic particular stock or share de? pends largely on one life It often hap? pens, too, that the sudden death of an operator who is a large holder or a large bull of any stock will cause a sharp fall in its price, because the knowledge that this slock will have to be, sold makes the deal? ers sell bears in anticipation It is related that a certain Scot, on hearing of thu sud? den death of an old Glasgow friend wdic was notoriously very deep in North British railway stock, lirst rushed to the railway market and sold lo,out) "British" in prep? aration for llie tall that was sure to follow when his dead friend's account was liqui? dated, and then took a telegram form and wired to the widow, "Am terribly vexed to hear of poor Sandy's dreadfully sudden demise."?Exchange. IN LONDON LODGINGS. VCbat It May Cost the American Visitor in Kngland. ' In England, though in London at least there arc many boarding houses, it is more usual to live in "lodgings"?that is, more usual to hire a furnished room by it? self than to include tho taking of meals at the common table. Frequently, however, you arrange to have part of your meals in the house, but served in your own room. In that case you may buy your own ma? terials nml pay for the cooking, or the land? lady will buy what you direct and cook it for a slight charge. In a thoroughly con? venient and respcctal.de location in Lon? don ST.?O a week would be a low prieu for a plainly furnished sitting room and bed? room and the cooking. You can do hot? ter than that in the suburbs, but distances are long in London, and it, is economy to pay for a convenient location if time is any object. Prices are lower in the smaller English places and the landladies more endurable. Those of London are often so bothersome that, many Americans'advise against tak? ing lodgings there. Figures from tho ex? pense book of two American girls who took lodgings wherever they had addresses show that in Lincoln for apartments in a delightfully quaint little house just out? side the cathedral close, where the land? lady and everything about tho place was spotlessly clean, thuy paid SI.40 apiece for the night's lodging and three meals. In York they had lodging, supper and break? fast for $1 apiece. At Oxford the same thing with a line grate lire cost SI apiece. In Edinburgh they hart lodging and break? fast, for a week for J:i.?O apiece. In London and the large cities it is tho custom to go out for dinner. London res? taurants are more costly than those of the satno grade in the States, and so London is not. the cheapest place in which to dine. I To live in tills way abroad is much sim? pler than at home, for restaurant life is so much more common. It, lias been said that a third of the people of Paris dine at ! cafes. Women seldom have any serious trouble in finding a restaurant where they can dine unmolested, and a great many of the art students abroad live in this fash? ion, often not spending Sil a day for the whole cost of existence Furnished rooms, however, are not so easily to bo found in Paris as in London, but t hey arc there.? ltobett Luce in "doing Abroad." High lircd Americans. Here a couple of hundred years ago was planted a little obscure trading post by a few score of broad breeched Hollanders History records nothing moro remarkable of this small colony id' Dutchmen than that they lived at peace willi one another and drove the sharpest bargains with the untutored red man. It is certain that none of them ever talked of his ancestry or re gavded himself as a founder. Indeed the practice among European nations of deport ing their social dregs and colonizing their undesirables in the now world marked no exception In the case ol the Batavinn commonwealth. A span ol liti? years is not. forsooth, tho antiquity ol the Percys or tho Howards, but few of the sous and daughters oX whom wet hear, sc much iHitiHi prove a uoseenc nail an iong At any rato, it admits no tluubt.of n grand? father, ni- even one to spare, and as M. liluinjt.dlps.Tvos. that is the greatest desid? eratum of the high bred American.? Phil ist i no. Fllldlut: Tnr RlVfir. Thero la really and truly a tar river In iStitthwtiMo'.'jvii but .Tommy1 Reii'solit tnd. following story of how tho Yankees found it: "When tho Confederates evacuated Wash? ington, N. C, they rolled 1,000 harrels of tar and turpentine into fin: river at Taft's store, and t wo months later a steamboat, the Colonel Hill, with -100 Yankee prison? ers going from Salisbury to Washington tobe exchanged, tied up at rhu wharf, to let tho boys bathe. They stirred up the tar at the bottom of tho river and were smeared with it from head to foot.. When we came upon them, each man hud his ra? tions of meat in one band and a small stick in the other, scraping and greasing for dear life. 'Hello, boys! What's the mattery' I asked. And they replied, 'Durned if wo haven't, found Tar river at last; the whole bod is covered with pitch.' " ?New York Cross. Spoiling a Herne. Buyer?Lookco here, you! You said tins horse was sound and kind and free from tricks. The first day I drove him lie balked a do/en times, ami he's as bad to? day. Dealer?I'm?you've been wondering if I cheated von maybe? "Yes. I have." "And tho first time youdrnvtho lvoss you sort o' wondered if he hadn't some tricks, didn't you?" "Of course." "And you kept saying to yourself, 'I wonder if that.there horse will balk,' may bol-" "Probably." "Anil youbad your mind on it a good deal, most like:-" "That's true. " "That's wot's the matter?you've hyp? notized him. Sec?"?New York Weekly YHWuing. There can be little doubt that one of the Objects of yawning is the exercise of mus elcs which liavo been for a long time quiescent, and the acceleration of the blood and lymph (low which lias in consequence of this quiescence become sluggish. Hence its frequency after one has remained for some time in the same position?e. g.. when waking in the morning Co-operat ing with this cause is sleepiness and the shallow breathing which it entails. This factor, as well as muscle quiescence, is apt to attend the sense of boredom which one experiences in listening to a dull ser? mon. Hence it is that tho bored individual is apt to yawn. As in the case of sighing, the deep breath which accompanies tiie act of yawning compensates for tho shal? low breathing which is so apt to excite it. ?"Therapeutic Aspects of Talking," by Dr. H. Campbell. nummary *.oiiveri*?.ii. Hawaiians all became "Christians'' throng): the simple process of an edict? kapoo?of one of tiie sturdy old Kaiueha mchas. That worthy king, observing that it was easier to kill an enemy with a rille than with a club, and that tho rille was the invention of the Christians, took u short cut. through tho t heological mazes of the missionaries who wc.ro trying to convert ids subjects, and announced that all Hawaiians were from that moment Christians. As he added that In: would knock on the bead any who objected, the thing was doi-.o as fast as his couriers could deliver Iiis message to his loving subjects.?New York World. Tho provision for a traveler's require? ments arc distinctly gcncroiH in Serviu. i Not only does he find public soap, which Knglishmcn sometimes resent not finding . in Franco, but also hairbrushes, ololla.-s . brushes, oombs and slippers in his bed i room. Even a public toothbrush is by no uieufis unknown. Tommy Sp?ak? Wimlum, "What is it," asked tho teacher, "to f hibernate?" ; "To hibernate," ansered Tommy Tuck | er, " Is to got on tho police force."?Cbl i cago Tribune. ODD NUMBERS IN PRICES. Fascination or the Hargaln Counters. Nine Cent Gomls Sell Hotter Than Eight. In speaking of special stiles the other day ami of the figures that seem to attract the public the most, as well as the class of customers who frequent these sales, an old anil successful merchant said: "Then! Is a fascination in odd numbers that always draws purchasers. Now, I will call your attention to somu of the marked down articles that uro being sold on our bargain counter. Notice those neckties that are marked at 37)i cents, three for $1. It is an actual fact, that wo sold twice as nmny of them at. 37)^ cents as wo would sell at 1)5, and wo sell as many again by allowing three for $1. When a man sees them selling at 37.'j cents, ho naturally imagines that they are 50 rent goods, and he reasons thut he can get three cheaper than he can one, so he takes three. He really docs get a bargain, but he would not take it at a less attract? ive llgiiro. "Speaking of odd numbers, it. is a curi? ous Tact that some are much more attract? ive than others. Nine cents, for intanoo, is one uf the most, attractive figures and sells more goods than H cents would. Thirteen and 17 cents are by no means so gootl as 111 cents for running off an extra line, while L'l and 23 are comparatively poor sellers. Thirty-seven and a half cents is a great favorite and better than 311 by far. Forty-nine used to lie much better than it is now, 1 attribute the fact that it is less popular to tho number of jokes that have been made upon it. "When yon get above 50 cents, peopl? commence to look more at the real value of a thing and less at. the price charged. Seventy-nine cents is a great favorite, and 01) Is ono of the best figures still that we have to sell at, although not so good as It usctl to be. It, will sell, however, per l ent more goods than will $1."?Wash? ington Post. MADE OF THE RIGHT STUFF. Commander Powell Won the Admiration of Ills Captor. Simd always commands respect and con? sideration from those who arc themselves bravo men. Captain Jones, who was in command of the Florida troops when they took tho United States arsenal at, Apa lauhicola, always delighted in telling this i r.uiilent: "Commander Powell was iu charge of the ursonal," related the captain. "Ho had been m the service for 30 years and ho made a gallant, defense against overwhelm? ing numbers. To be accurate, he did about all tile lighting himself and gave us the impression that, ho had quite a respectable force back uf him. When we entered, the grim old warrior turned and addressed us thus: " 'Five minutes ago 1 was commander of this arsenal; but, in consequence of the weakness of my command, 1 was obliged Mimtrcfritaa to no mu-ihg 'niy entire mili? tary career.' If Iliad a force equal to or even half the strength of your own, I'll be d?d if you should have entered that gate until you walked over my deud body. Von sc?,-I have but three men. If they were soldiers instead of common laborers, we would he lighting yet,. I now consider myself .a prisoner of war. Take my sword. Ca11tniii .Tones.' "I did take it mechanically and under the spell of his outburst, but immediately returned it, und told him ho was too brave a man to disarm. Spontaneously tho en tiro onmmaud gave t hree cheers for Powell and them was not, one. of us who did not feel proud that he was an American uiti sen."?Detroit free Press. Free Mustard. James Russell Lowell said, "All deacons are gtKid, but there are odds in deacons," nod it, may be added that there are odds in other varieties of men. Squire Blank, according to Harper's Bazar, was not only the richest man in his village, hut the stingiest as well. Nothing gave him such keen delight us to get something for nothing. One day he and several of his neighbors had heen In conference with a manufac? turer who contemplated establishing u mill In the town. The conference was held in throne store of the village, and at its close the manufacturer stopped up to a showcase containing cigars and said: "Have a cigar, gentlemen." All the men selected a cigar except Squire Blank. He did not smoko. There fore lie said: "Thank you, sir, but I don't smoke. But its the cigars are a dime apiece I'll take it dime's worth o' mustard if you say so." Of course the astonished gentleman "said so," ami the squire went homo jubi? lant over "a hull half pound o' mustard that never cost mo a red cent." A ifustldlous Ilesdcmoua. When Wilson Barrett did hls"one night only" performance of '* Othello" in Mel? bourne, he '"passioned" with much frenzy and ftuvo rise to a ludicrous situation. Having stilled Desdemona in a businoss like fnshion, he came down the stugo, be? ing first supposed to draw tho tapestry to? gether, leaving the smothered Miss Jef? fries comfortably corpsed on the bed. But in his enthusiasm bo did not quite close the arras, ami while he. was elueut ing In the foreground lialf the audience were littering at tho comic sight of tho beauteous corpse in the rear sitting up and arranging her draperies to pictur? esque advantage, Having seen that they were correctly displayed, Maud Desdemona lay down und went dead again, whilo Wilson Barrett continued his riot.?Syd? ney Bulletin. Suitors Can't Swear, The regulations of both the army and navy forbid profanity, and any soldier or sailor who objects to being sworn at by Iiis superior ollicer may make complaint, thereby subjecting tho offending ollicer to trial hy court martial. Yet wo have reason to bollijvo that such men as Washington, Farragut and Grant could swear and did swear upon occasion, and history furnishes no record of their having been court mar tialedoM that account.?Exchange. His Addition. A down cast correspondent recalls a story told in the last century of a school? boy mimed Hulls, who bail a teacher named llascoiu. The lad afterward be? came ii noted preacher. One day his teach? er si t for a copy in the boy's writing book, "Kels are an ordinary fish." Tho hoy copied It very carefully and added, "Kels were no ordinary fish till Bascom (buss come)."?New York Times. Tfte Cold Shoulder. It was once customary in Franco when a guest had remained too long for tho host to serve a cold shoulder of mutton Instead of n hut roust. This was the origin of tho jl.casu " to give tho cold shoulder." BITES THAT POISON. ANIMALS WHOSE TEETH CARRY A VERDICT OF DEATH. The Power That !? In ths Snap ?C tike Jnirs or the Lion, the Leopard, the Walt aud the Tic.-r- ?ho Crocodile's Uorml dable Row of Splkeia. Dog bites are alwoys dangerous. This Is mainly duo not to poisoning, though tlds often results, but to tho frightful wound which any largo dog thoroughly In earnest ran Inflict. Human beings get off lightly in many cast's, because, as a rule, a dog only "snaps" nt them when irritat? ed, and there is as much difference be? tween a "snap" and a blto us there is be? tween a fillip with tho baok of the fingen and a knockdown blew. Most poisoning caused by bites Is, how? ever, probably duo to tho state of the creature's teeth. The dog tribo, which have very wet mouths and wet tongues, keep their teeth fairly clean, while herbiv? orous animals do not. A dog's teeth are nearly always beautifully white, those of a horse or a camel yellow and dirty. Cap? tain Christie in soino notes on sport In Soiunliland recently published in "Coua Sry Life," states that o native cook who served him had been disabled for two years by n camel bite received during our former .Sudan expedition. The work dona by tho tongue and saliva in constantly cleaning the carnivorous animal's teeth is proved to somo extent, by tho different re? sults of being "clawed" and bitten respec? tively by the same, creature. Wounds made by tho claws of leopards arc poisonous, while those caused by the teeth are less frequently septic Sir Sam? uel Iiaker notes that "the wounds from tho claws of a leopard uru exceedingly dan? gerous, as tho animal Is In the habit of feeding upun carcasses some days after they have been killed. Tim flesh Is at that time beginning to decompose, and tho claws, which are used to hold It as It is torn by the teeth and jaws, become taint? ed and poisoned sufficiently to insure gan? grene by inoculation." Ho recommends that all wounds caused by leopards or tigers should be thoroughly syringed with cold water mixed with a thirty-sixth part of curbolio ueid whenever the wound la dressed. Probably modern treatment can Improve upon this ranlnn ? ?? ?? blood poisoning tho severity of the bites of flesh eating animals is out of all pro? portion to the weapons by whioh they are Inflicted. Tho tooth, even of the largest Carnivora, nro merely tho ''spearhead," but. the force which "works" these in? struments is prodigious. It scorns as If for the moment the animal throw all its bodily energy Into the combination of muscular action which we call a "bite." In most cases the mere shock of impact as the ani? mal hurls itself on its enemy is entirely demoralizing or inflicts physical injury. A muzzled mastiff will hurl a man to the ground in tho effort to fasten its teeth In his throat or shouldor. Then tho driving und crushing forco of tho jaw muscles is astonishing. The snapping power of an alligator's jaws is more or less intelligible. They uro long and furnished with a row of pointed teeth from und to end. But the jaws nf tiie lion, leopard, tiger, otter, fer? ret or baboon arc short, and the long and pointed teeth aro few. Yet each of their species has a biting power which In pro? portion to its size is almost Incredible. Sir Samuel Baker, who had a long and varied acquaintance with the bites of the Carnivora, noticed that tho tiger usually seized an Indian native by the shoulder and with one jaw on onu side and the oth? er on the other bit clean through chest and back. "The fatal wound wua the bite, which through back and chest penetrated to tho lungs." Europeans are killed by tho tiger's bite as wall as lacerated by the claws. A Mr. Lawes, son of a missionary of that name, was killed after being shak? en for a few moments by a tigress, whioh then left him. He died next day. In near? ly all cases the bite penutrutes to the lungs. This kind of wound Is characteristic of the attacks of muny of the felidae. Scarce? ly tiny bird recovers from a cat's bite for tho same reason. The canine teeth are al? most instantly driven through the lung under tho wing. Thu cheetah, which has a very small mouth, always bites through the black buck's throat. The leopard when seizing smaller ani? mals, such as dogs, crushes the head. When attacking men, it aims at biting through the lungs. Sir Samuel Baker must again be quoted. In Africa a native boy was liring reeds, accompanied by his brother. A leopard seized 0110 boy and was almost instantly killed by the other, who hurled his spear so accurately that It separated tho vertebra) of tho leopard's neck. "Tho boy was carried to my hat," says Sir Satnuol, "but there was no chance of recovery, as the fangs had torn open the chest and Injured the lungs. These were exposed to view through the cavity be? tween his ribs. Ho died during the night." Tho worst of the "snapping" bites of mammals Is that of the wolf. The jaws, unliko thoso of the fulidaj, are very long. A male wolf's head often seems to be more than a quarter of its length without the I tail. Sotuo judges sot it at nearly a third of tho total length of its body. The bite is always a snap, which will tear away a mass of flesh from a still running animal , or inflict a mortal wound on the lower parts of the body. Tho crocodile bite is I tho most formidable of tiie snapping order. i Though its teeth are only a row of spikes, it can cut off a limb or bite a flsh weigh? ing 70 pounds into two pieces as cleanly [ as if they wore divided by a knife. Horses usually seize a person by the arm or shoulder when they bite. The result is more often a very bad bruise, like a jam in u door, than ? wound. But the great offender in this respect is "our friend the dog," and tho greatest sufferers are young children. Wo have known a little girl of 10 years almost bitten to death by a petted St. Bernard tlog which was jealous of her and a boy of (1 mauled and lacerated by a bulldog for the same reason. As most per. sons keep dogs for their own amusement it is incumbent on them to remember that, though tho best of domesticated animals, they are potentially dutigerons wild beasts, and if they show signs of vice should be dismissed by euthanasia, not sold to somo one else.?London Spectator. How It Straek Him. "Ser-rmons In stones?" quoted Mr. Boo* lan after his literary daughter. "Ol dun no about that, but sure there is some good, urncnta ia |feoBj, there la."?C?w?s*.