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Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, September 11, 1898, Image 1

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VOL Iii, NO. 281.
The Man Who Delights In luvestfsating
All Sorts or Uilil Tilings ltuba Peter to
l';i> Faul, Uuys a l"lg In u l'oko and Lets
the- Cat Out of the Hag.
"Do you know who Mother Carey is?"
asked the man wliu delights in investigat?
ing nil sorts of odd things and who is nev?
er so happy as when following up somo
unusual line of thought.
'"She's a chicken fancier, I imagine,"
replied the man who takes things as they
coino without question. "At any rate
(die's seldom mentioned except in connec?
tion With her chickens."
"Mother Carey," said the investigator,
and he took another look at the book he
hold in his hand as if to guard against the
possibility of mistake, "is the Virgin
Mary. Tho name comes from the Latin
'Mater earn,' meaning 'Mother dear,' and
her chickens arc the stormy petrels which
the sailors formerly believed wore sent to
warn them of approaching storms. I tell"
you, my boy, there's a great dual that's in?
teresting in these odd expressions and
words if one takes the trouble to look it
up Now, there is tin' saying, 'Don't care
n rap.' How would you interpret that?
What does rap mean?"
"As an offhand guess, I should say that
It was a substitute for a word that begins
with'd' and which is not supposed to bo
used in polite society."
"You would be wrong." asserted the
man with the book. " "Kap' is derived
from 'R. A. P.,' which in turn comes
from India and stands for rupees, annas
und pice, representing tho money of that
country. The expression is almost an ex
uct equivalent to that other,' equally com
luon, '1 don't care a cent.' Now, I sup?
pose if some ota: should ask you about
'.lack and .Mil,' who 'went up a hill,' yon
would say they were simply nursery char?
"I certainly should.''
"And you would be wrong again.
Mack' was the name of a pitcher made of
waxed leather, and 'Gill' was'and still is
a measure of capacity. That is how they
happened to go after water. Somebody
was doubtless carrying iliem and careless?
ly dropped them."
"When you say "Hy .lingo!' 1 suppose
you don't mean anything except that you
are excited or angry?"
"?That's all."
"Nevertheless you are literally swearing
by the evil one, for the word is from Mon
co,' which means 'devil' in the Masque
language. 1 suppose, also, that you re?
gard 'carpet knight' as a term of re?
"Yet Henry Irving is a carpet, knight
Sowas Tennyson, and so are ami were
many ot hers of whom England is P^'yu^
by Iiis achievements in thu world of sci?
ence or the arts or, in fact, anywhere ex?
cept in battle. He may bo really more de?
serving of the title than any of those who
won it. by the sword."
"You mils' put iri most of your time
with dictionaries and cyclopedias," sag
(jested the man who takes things us they
"'Notar, all I am simply sufficiently
Interested to look up these odd expressions
when I run ucross them to sei- what they
really mean anil whether we use them
properly. Do you know why tho patrons
of the "top gallery of a theater are railed
the gods:-'
' ? Never even gave the sn! eject a thought.'
?'Well, they arc so described an the
Drury Luna theater in London, first, be?
cause tile ceiling wits painted in imitation
of a blue sky. with enpids and angels liv?
ing about, 1 imagine the term 'battle
royal' conveys an iiica of grandeur to you
in the lighting line."
"1 should think it ought to bo lather
"Nevertheless it was originally nothing
but a cockllghting Uirm ami was used to
describe a light in which three, live or
seven birds were put into the pit ami left
until all but, one hud been defeated. How
do you suppose wo got the expression 'cock '
and bull story?' "
"Give it up."
"Yon ought to investigate these tilings
If you arc going to make use of them. A
mull ought to know something about,
what he is saying. This comes lo us from
thu time of the reformation. The papal
bulls had a cock on the seal, and of course
there were a great, many people of that
day who were inclined to discredit, any?
thing in thu cock mid bull line. Hut the
expression that-doubt less will interest you
liiost is, '1 don't care a dam.' "
"You what?"
" '1 don i cue a dam!'?the dam with?
out the 'n,' of course."
"What difference cocs that, make?"
"All iheditfcivnce in the world. D-o-m
Is a coin in India equivalent. Man English
twopence If you arooaughc making that
remark in a loud lone some time, it, may
be worth something to you to know that
there is such a coin li v. ill help you to'
explain matters Now, w here do you sup?
pose the words 'peeler' and 'bobby,' mean?
ing policeman, conic from?"
'?Again I give it, up."
?'From tho name of Sir Robert Peel
the founder of the London police force."
"Do you do anything except look up
these things?" asked the man who takes
things us they come.
"Oh, yes," replied the man of an Inves?
tigating turn of mind. "When you get
into the habit, of looking into the origin of
the expressions you run across, you du it
as an amusement at odd times. Now,
yesterday it suddenly occurred to mu that
I didn't know why it is that we'rob Peter
to pay Paul.' "
" Did you find out?"
"Certainly. In |?M!> several estates lie
longing to Westminster abbey were grant
ed to St. Paul's cathedral for repairs and
maintenance and Westminster abbey hap?
pens to be dedicated to St. Peter. There
is an interesting story connected with
'buying a pig in a poku' too."
" Let 's have. it. "
"A countryman once nut, a cat In ii poke
or sack ami sold it in the market place as
a suckling pig. Tho customer didn't in?
vestigate his vmrchas? then, and when ho
did lie very naturally 'let the cat out of
the bug.' There, you have two explained
at once.'
"It's rather interesting, isn't it?" said
the man who takes tilings as they come.
"I believe I'll look up the next odd ex?
pression I como across myself."
"Do," returned the investigator. "I'm
Bine you will finil it quite as interesting
as the genealogical fad and a lot more in?
structive. "?Chicago Post.
Salutes the Quarterdeck.
A naval seaman has onco every day to
Jtilute tho quarterdeck of his ship, eveu if
so officer Is upon it
Tho Teuchel- IIcc>m Well, but Soon Cams
to Grief.
In spite of the fact that she wanted to
learn a little something about the subject,
it seems probable that she was better
versed in smno features of it than he
thought. In tuuth, the demure appear?
ance of a girl or a woman dees not neces?
sarily make it safe to draw any conclu?
sions as to her knowledguof those features
of our language not usually recognized in
polite society.
"John," sho said, "I want you to givo
me the meaning of some slang words."
"Whv, of course," ho replied. "Fire
There is nothing that pleases a man
more, you know, than any sort of an in?
timation from a woman that ho knows
more thai: sin: does about any subject.
Things of that sort occur so seldom.
-What s ii oiuchr' "
"That's easy," he replied. You know,
in the west, the knot a cowbov ties in ids
saddle girth is called a cinch, tho feature
of it being that it positively will not slip
or conn' loose. From that wu_sort of rea?
son that?er"?
"Well, it conveys the idea of something
that holds tight."
"Like mat rimony'r"
"Weil, not exactly. Matrimony is sonic
times a cinch, but not always?not by a
good deal."
There was just n! suggestion of some
sinister meaning underlying this, hut bo
fore she had timo to go very deeply into it
ho hastened to explain that cinch meant
something that was easy?a certainty.
"For instance," lie went on, "when 1
made tip my mind to ask you to marrry
me, it was a cinch that 1 would get you."
"Oh, it was. was it:-" she demanded,
suddenly showing unmistakable signs of
aggressiveness. "And what, is a bluffy Can
you tell me that?"
"Why?er?er?a hlulT is?er"?
"When you told mo you could support
me in tin: stylo lo which I had been accus?
tomed." she interrupted,"! suppose that
was a bluff."
Sometimes a man whoso bump of humor
is abnormally developed is uimhlu to set
the point of a .joke when he is the butt ol
it. Possibly that may explain the strained
relations that existed in that household
for as much as half a day.?Chicago Post
Pouring Oil oil TTre.iMcd Waters.
Tim Indiana was kept dry by the drip?
ping of oil from both hows, and, although
tremendous seas were running and break?
ing, they could not come on board.
This was certainly a most practical il?
lustration of the old saying as to the
"pouring of oil on troubled waters," a
proverb as old as the Bible, but only very
recently applied, thanks to the hydro
graphic ollice of the United States, and
now very generally followed by seamen
the world over. It was tin American also
(Kedlicld) who first thoroughly found out
IWUv^Vito^'SSlAte .Iml'^J'iUilV^irseameii
ate forever indebted.
In using oil it is astonishing how small
a quantity will sullice?just a quart or
two in a hag stuffed with oakum hung
over the bows and allowed to drip drop by
drop on the sea, where it spreads out in a
thin greasy Ulm over tlio surface of the
water. Over the film the wi.-.d slips, as it
were, and lias no power to bank the wafer
up into waves which would break over the
ship. Hundreds of reports are on lile it:
the oflicc attesting the marvelous results
of this simple agent of safety.?St. Nich?
olas. _
Afglmij Kxcllisiv; ucss.
In the mailer of trade and passage
through bis country the ameer is irrecon?
cilably obdurate. liefe again Iiis inor?
dinately suspicious character comes in, for
no trade king in- syndicate has yet been
able to move him in this mutter, though
he must sec quite plainly that the opening
up of Afghanistan to the henellts of ex?
ternal trade would eventually enrich the
country and improve ids own revenues.
With similar jealousy and want of trust?
fulness in the motives of others, he closes
his country to foreign travelers almost as
selfishly a"s the Tibetans have closed
theirs. It is only to sj.ial individuals of
rank and importance that lie will concede
tlio privilege of a protected passage, albeit
there is, comparatively speaking, little
danger involved in traveling in Afghan?
istan. Tlu' writer was very recently in
w hat was years ago one of the most unciv?
ilized bazaars in the country, and the Af?
ghans were most civil and obliging.?Iie
vicw of Reviews.
Duly Marked It Out.
A lovelorn youth had quarreled witlt his
ladylove, and with bitter, angry words
they parted, and tic decided that life was
no longer worth living. Abruptly turn?
ing into a barber's, be sat in a vacant
chair and calmly requested the barber to
cut his throat.
Tlio barber acquiesced, and, tucking tho
cloth round Iiis neck, ll.vcd the head rest
so t hat the customer's chin was well ele?
vated. Then drawing a stout pin from
the corner of his waistcoat ami bidding it
firmly between his linger and thumb, he
drew the pin quickly across the neck of
the man.
Immediately, with a scream worthy of
a red Indian, the despairing onu leaped
from the chair, shouting:
"Surely, surely you have not done It?"
"t'b, no, sir!" said the barber. "Sit
down again, sir. I've only jutuked it
out!"?Pearson's Weekly.
Anecdote of Aldrich.
A very clever anecdote is told of Thom?
as Bailey Aldrich. tine day the distin?
guished author happened to saunier into
an auction room while a salo of rare edi?
tions, old manuscripts and autographs was
going on. " Tlio auctioneer, holding in Iiis
I hands a bundle of letters, said: "Ladies
j and gentlemen, I have hero two auto?
graphs which were written by a man
named Thomas Uailey Aldrich. I shall
now start them for you at. the price of two
for 5 cents." No bids were made, and
thuy were sold for that sum.
Mr. Aldrich, in speaking of the incident
afterward to a friend, said, " I wouldn't
have cared at all if they had gone for 5
rents each, but 'twu for 5' reminded mo
very forcibly of little apples."?Philadel?
phia Post.
A McHiiingluKtf Term.
Hicks?When people mean to mako
tilings exceedingly uncomfortable for a
man, they speak about having a picnic
with him.
Wicks?1 know. Just ns though people
who have picnics ever have a good time!?
Boston Transcript.
Tho bachelor who builds air castles
usually lives in a lint after he guts mar?
ried.? Chicago News.
In tho sixteenth century frogs were con?
sidered fish and allowed on fast days.
How tie IManm-d to Turn tho Tables on
IJIh Unsuspecting Wife.
Ho looked ut his watch, debated with
himself for a minute und then said, "Go
on with the game. I'll sic in a little lon?
"Likely to he somebody sitting up for
?''fe'?re'td \m\" was the reply.
"Possibility that the party who is sitting
up will he mad clear through?" inquired
the player opposite.
"Not only a possibility, but a certain?
ty," answered the man who had looked at .
his watch, "and I don't mind saving that ;
if it was any other night 1 wouldn't daro
slay another minute."
"What is there peculiar about tonight?'
asked the dealer.
"The fact that 1 received this today,"
replied the player as ho took an envelope
from his pocket and held it up.
'?Letter:-" they asked.
"No; bill." he answered. "Milliner's,
"I don't sec"? liegnn one of the others. I
"Why, it's simple enough, " returned the J
man with the bill. "Can't you always
lind something to kick about in a mil?
liner's bill:-"
They admitted that they usually could
"Well," ho went on, ' there's an item
for a hat here that's all right. She told
me she was going to get it and what it
would cost, hut. there's another item of
for ribbons and things that would
give lue a chance to make my roar. I'll
turn loose the minute I get, in the house?
before she has a chance to say a word."
"Well?" they said.
"Well," ho answered, "that will put her
on the defensive at the start, and then I'll
keep it uii until a curtain lecture or any
kind of a sarcastic reference to she club is
about as far from her thoughts as wo are
from the Philippines. .lust you show me
a man who can't work out his own salva?
tion when he once succeeds in putting a
woman on tho defensive, and I will show
you a man who has not been married
long. Give mo two cards, please."?Chi?
cago Post.
That Old Problem About a Picket Fence
Over a Hill.
Dan Cupid sallied out onco upon a day
and aimed an arrow at- a youth and a maid
whom I know. The aim was true, and
presently the maid was wearing a solitaire
diamond on the third finger of her loft
hand, star of promise of a plainer ring
which was to gleam there by and by Ev?
erything went well till one day the youth
received a letter from a third cousin of his
out. in Denver, a simple, innocent letter,
with a postscript.
"P. S.," it read. "Will It tnko mnro
pickets to build a fence overu hill or right
straight through tho hill, the pickets in
both cases to be the same distance apart
and to be set perpendicular to a horizontal
line drawn through thu base of tho hill?"
Of course tho youth read thu letter to
i the maid, and she said right, off:
"Why, what an awfully* silly questioni
Of course it would take more to go over
tho hill."
And tho youth said:
"No, it would take precisely tho snmo
Then she fell hack on Euclid and the
two sides of a triangle, with certain cal?
culations, in which reference wits made to
'Pi K square," and he pinned his faith to
a simple diagram with the banisters of tho
front stairs and in tho hall as tin object
lesson to clinch his argument. They
couldn't, agree, and they parted in cold?
ness, meeting later only to part in anger.
He says she is obstinate, and she, 1 regret
to say, calls him pigheaded. The soli?
taire is gonu and happiness witli it, and
after all that sho thinks it will take more
pickets to build the fence over the bill,
and ho is sure it won't. What do you
think??Washington Post.
A Gladstone Anecdote.
The following story of Mr. Gladstone is
told by thu Sundui'latid correspondent of
the Leeds Mercury: "Years ago 1 was i:i
Hawarden, and in talking to an old man
who said he was older than Mr. Gladstone
by a year or two he told mo ho knew Mr
Gladstone since a few days after lie was
married. This old mun in his younger
days usod to carry pig iron from a ship or
boat to a foundry some miles distant. Ho
bad a hill to ?i up. miji lie Uad tu put Iiis
shoulder fd 'Hie wheel Onu day Mr
Gladstone was going up I ho hill, and hu,
tuu, pul his shoulder to lite wheel until he
(jot to the top. "Tile man rested his horse
t:t the top of the hill, and an old hum
breaking stones said, ' Do you know who
that was who put his shoulder to the
wheel?' Tho carter said, 'No.' 'Well,
that is Miss Catherine's husband.' was
Sandy*H Dreadfully Sudden Demise.
It still happens occasionally that tho
price of sonic particular stock or share de?
pends largely on one life It often hap?
pens, too, that the sudden death of an
operator who is a large holder or a large
bull of any stock will cause a sharp fall in
its price, because the knowledge that this
slock will have to be, sold makes the deal?
ers sell bears in anticipation It is related
that a certain Scot, on hearing of thu sud?
den death of an old Glasgow friend wdic
was notoriously very deep in North British
railway stock, lirst rushed to the railway
market and sold lo,out) "British" in prep?
aration for llie tall that was sure to follow
when his dead friend's account was liqui?
dated, and then took a telegram form and
wired to the widow, "Am terribly vexed
to hear of poor Sandy's dreadfully sudden
VCbat It May Cost the American Visitor
in Kngland. '
In England, though in London at least
there arc many boarding houses, it is
more usual to live in "lodgings"?that is,
more usual to hire a furnished room by it?
self than to include tho taking of meals at
the common table. Frequently, however,
you arrange to have part of your meals in
the house, but served in your own room.
In that case you may buy your own ma?
terials nml pay for the cooking, or the land?
lady will buy what you direct and cook it
for a slight charge. In a thoroughly con?
venient and respcctal.de location in Lon?
don ST.?O a week would be a low prieu for
a plainly furnished sitting room and bed?
room and the cooking. You can do hot?
ter than that in the suburbs, but distances
are long in London, and it, is economy to
pay for a convenient location if time is
any object.
Prices are lower in the smaller English
places and the landladies more endurable.
Those of London are often so bothersome
that, many Americans'advise against tak?
ing lodgings there. Figures from tho ex?
pense book of two American girls who
took lodgings wherever they had addresses
show that in Lincoln for apartments in a
delightfully quaint little house just out?
side the cathedral close, where the land?
lady and everything about tho place was
spotlessly clean, thuy paid SI.40 apiece for
the night's lodging and three meals. In
York they had lodging, supper and break?
fast for $1 apiece. At Oxford the same
thing with a line grate lire cost SI apiece.
In Edinburgh they hart lodging and break?
fast, for a week for J:i.?O apiece.
In London and the large cities it is tho
custom to go out for dinner. London res?
taurants are more costly than those of the
satno grade in the States, and so London
is not. the cheapest place in which to dine.
I To live in tills way abroad is much sim?
pler than at home, for restaurant life is so
much more common. It, lias been said
that a third of the people of Paris dine at
! cafes. Women seldom have any serious
trouble in finding a restaurant where they
can dine unmolested, and a great many of
the art students abroad live in this fash?
ion, often not spending Sil a day for the
whole cost of existence Furnished rooms,
however, are not so easily to bo found in
Paris as in London, but t hey arc there.?
ltobett Luce in "doing Abroad."
High lircd Americans.
Here a couple of hundred years ago was
planted a little obscure trading post by a
few score of broad breeched Hollanders
History records nothing moro remarkable
of this small colony id' Dutchmen than
that they lived at peace willi one another
and drove the sharpest bargains with the
untutored red man. It is certain that none
of them ever talked of his ancestry or re
gavded himself as a founder.
Indeed the practice among European
nations of deport ing their social dregs and
colonizing their undesirables in the now
world marked no exception In the case ol
the Batavinn commonwealth. A span ol
liti? years is not. forsooth, tho antiquity ol
the Percys or tho Howards, but few of the
sous and daughters oX whom wet hear, sc
much iHitiHi prove a uoseenc nail an iong
At any rato, it admits no tluubt.of n grand?
father, ni- even one to spare, and as M.
liluinjt.dlps.Tvos. that is the greatest desid?
eratum of the high bred American.? Phil
ist i no.
Fllldlut: Tnr RlVfir.
Thero la really and truly a tar river In
iStitthwtiMo'.'jvii but .Tommy1 Reii'solit tnd.
following story of how tho Yankees found
"When tho Confederates evacuated Wash?
ington, N. C, they rolled 1,000 harrels of
tar and turpentine into fin: river at Taft's
store, and t wo months later a steamboat,
the Colonel Hill, with -100 Yankee prison?
ers going from Salisbury to Washington
tobe exchanged, tied up at rhu wharf, to
let tho boys bathe. They stirred up the
tar at the bottom of tho river and were
smeared with it from head to foot.. When
we came upon them, each man hud his ra?
tions of meat in one band and a small
stick in the other, scraping and greasing
for dear life. 'Hello, boys! What's the
mattery' I asked. And they replied,
'Durned if wo haven't, found Tar river at
last; the whole bod is covered with pitch.' "
?New York Cross.
Spoiling a Herne.
Buyer?Lookco here, you! You said
tins horse was sound and kind and free
from tricks. The first day I drove him lie
balked a do/en times, ami he's as bad to?
Dealer?I'm?you've been wondering if
I cheated von maybe?
"Yes. I have."
"And tho first time youdrnvtho lvoss
you sort o' wondered if he hadn't some
tricks, didn't you?"
"Of course."
"And you kept saying to yourself, 'I
wonder if that.there horse will balk,' may
"Anil youbad your mind on it a good
deal, most like:-"
"That's true. "
"That's wot's the matter?you've hyp?
notized him. Sec?"?New York Weekly
There can be little doubt that one of the
Objects of yawning is the exercise of mus
elcs which liavo been for a long time
quiescent, and the acceleration of the blood
and lymph (low which lias in consequence
of this quiescence become sluggish. Hence
its frequency after one has remained for
some time in the same position?e. g..
when waking in the morning Co-operat
ing with this cause is sleepiness and the
shallow breathing which it entails. This
factor, as well as muscle quiescence, is
apt to attend the sense of boredom which
one experiences in listening to a dull ser?
mon. Hence it is that tho bored individual
is apt to yawn. As in the case of sighing,
the deep breath which accompanies tiie
act of yawning compensates for tho shal?
low breathing which is so apt to excite it.
?"Therapeutic Aspects of Talking," by
Dr. H. Campbell.
nummary *.oiiveri*?.ii.
Hawaiians all became "Christians''
throng): the simple process of an edict?
kapoo?of one of tiie sturdy old Kaiueha
mchas. That worthy king, observing that
it was easier to kill an enemy with a rille
than with a club, and that tho rille was
the invention of the Christians, took u
short cut. through tho t heological mazes
of the missionaries who wc.ro trying to
convert ids subjects, and announced that
all Hawaiians were from that moment
Christians. As he added that In: would
knock on the bead any who objected, the
thing was doi-.o as fast as his couriers
could deliver Iiis message to his loving
subjects.?New York World.
Tho provision for a traveler's require?
ments arc distinctly gcncroiH in Serviu.
i Not only does he find public soap, which
Knglishmcn sometimes resent not finding
. in Franco, but also hairbrushes, ololla.-s
. brushes, oombs and slippers in his bed
i room. Even a public toothbrush is by no
uieufis unknown.
Tommy Sp?ak? Wimlum,
"What is it," asked tho teacher, "to
f hibernate?"
; "To hibernate," ansered Tommy Tuck
| er, " Is to got on tho police force."?Cbl
i cago Tribune.
Fascination or the Hargaln Counters.
Nine Cent Gomls Sell Hotter Than Eight.
In speaking of special stiles the other
day ami of the figures that seem to attract
the public the most, as well as the class of
customers who frequent these sales, an old
anil successful merchant said:
"Then! Is a fascination in odd numbers
that always draws purchasers. Now, I
will call your attention to somu of the
marked down articles that uro being sold
on our bargain counter. Notice those
neckties that are marked at 37)i cents,
three for $1. It is an actual fact, that wo
sold twice as nmny of them at. 37)^ cents
as wo would sell at 1)5, and wo sell as
many again by allowing three for $1.
When a man sees them selling at 37.'j
cents, ho naturally imagines that they are
50 rent goods, and he reasons thut he can
get three cheaper than he can one, so he
takes three. He really docs get a bargain,
but he would not take it at a less attract?
ive llgiiro.
"Speaking of odd numbers, it. is a curi?
ous Tact that some are much more attract?
ive than others. Nine cents, for intanoo,
is one uf the most, attractive figures and
sells more goods than H cents would.
Thirteen and 17 cents are by no means so
gootl as 111 cents for running off an extra
line, while L'l and 23 are comparatively
poor sellers. Thirty-seven and a half cents
is a great favorite and better than 311 by
far. Forty-nine used to lie much better
than it is now, 1 attribute the fact that
it is less popular to tho number of jokes
that have been made upon it.
"When yon get above 50 cents, peopl?
commence to look more at the real value
of a thing and less at. the price charged.
Seventy-nine cents is a great favorite, and
01) Is ono of the best figures still that we
have to sell at, although not so good as It
usctl to be. It, will sell, however, per
l ent more goods than will $1."?Wash?
ington Post.
Commander Powell Won the Admiration
of Ills Captor.
Simd always commands respect and con?
sideration from those who arc themselves
bravo men. Captain Jones, who was in
command of the Florida troops when they
took tho United States arsenal at, Apa
lauhicola, always delighted in telling this
i r.uiilent:
"Commander Powell was iu charge of
the ursonal," related the captain. "Ho
had been m the service for 30 years and ho
made a gallant, defense against overwhelm?
ing numbers. To be accurate, he did about
all tile lighting himself and gave us the
impression that, ho had quite a respectable
force back uf him. When we entered, the
grim old warrior turned and addressed us
" 'Five minutes ago 1 was commander
of this arsenal; but, in consequence of the
weakness of my command, 1 was obliged
Mimtrcfritaa to no mu-ihg 'niy entire mili?
tary career.' If Iliad a force equal to or
even half the strength of your own, I'll be
d?d if you should have entered that gate
until you walked over my deud body.
Von sc?,-I have but three men. If they
were soldiers instead of common laborers,
we would he lighting yet,. I now consider
myself .a prisoner of war. Take my sword.
Ca11tniii .Tones.'
"I did take it mechanically and under
the spell of his outburst, but immediately
returned it, und told him ho was too brave
a man to disarm. Spontaneously tho en
tiro onmmaud gave t hree cheers for Powell
and them was not, one. of us who did not
feel proud that he was an American uiti
sen."?Detroit free Press.
Free Mustard.
James Russell Lowell said, "All deacons
are gtKid, but there are odds in deacons,"
nod it, may be added that there are odds
in other varieties of men.
Squire Blank, according to Harper's
Bazar, was not only the richest man in
his village, hut the stingiest as well.
Nothing gave him such keen delight us to
get something for nothing.
One day he and several of his neighbors
had heen In conference with a manufac?
turer who contemplated establishing u
mill In the town. The conference was held
in throne store of the village, and at its
close the manufacturer stopped up to a
showcase containing cigars and said:
"Have a cigar, gentlemen."
All the men selected a cigar except
Squire Blank. He did not smoko. There
fore lie said:
"Thank you, sir, but I don't smoke.
But its the cigars are a dime apiece I'll
take it dime's worth o' mustard if you say
Of course the astonished gentleman
"said so," ami the squire went homo jubi?
lant over "a hull half pound o' mustard
that never cost mo a red cent."
A ifustldlous Ilesdcmoua.
When Wilson Barrett did hls"one night
only" performance of '* Othello" in Mel?
bourne, he '"passioned" with much frenzy
and ftuvo rise to a ludicrous situation.
Having stilled Desdemona in a businoss
like fnshion, he came down the stugo, be?
ing first supposed to draw tho tapestry to?
gether, leaving the smothered Miss Jef?
fries comfortably corpsed on the bed.
But in his enthusiasm bo did not quite
close the arras, ami while he. was elueut
ing In the foreground lialf the audience
were littering at tho comic sight of tho
beauteous corpse in the rear sitting up
and arranging her draperies to pictur?
esque advantage, Having seen that they
were correctly displayed, Maud Desdemona
lay down und went dead again, whilo
Wilson Barrett continued his riot.?Syd?
ney Bulletin.
Suitors Can't Swear,
The regulations of both the army and
navy forbid profanity, and any soldier or
sailor who objects to being sworn at by
Iiis superior ollicer may make complaint,
thereby subjecting tho offending ollicer to
trial hy court martial. Yet wo have reason
to bollijvo that such men as Washington,
Farragut and Grant could swear and did
swear upon occasion, and history furnishes
no record of their having been court mar
tialedoM that account.?Exchange.
His Addition.
A down cast correspondent recalls a
story told in the last century of a school?
boy mimed Hulls, who bail a teacher
named llascoiu. The lad afterward be?
came ii noted preacher. One day his teach?
er si t for a copy in the boy's writing book,
"Kels are an ordinary fish." Tho hoy
copied It very carefully and added, "Kels
were no ordinary fish till Bascom (buss
come)."?New York Times.
Tfte Cold Shoulder.
It was once customary in Franco when
a guest had remained too long for tho host
to serve a cold shoulder of mutton Instead
of n hut roust. This was the origin of tho
jl.casu " to give tho cold shoulder."
The Power That !? In ths Snap ?C tike
Jnirs or the Lion, the Leopard, the Walt
aud the Tic.-r- ?ho Crocodile's Uorml
dable Row of Splkeia.
Dog bites are alwoys dangerous. This
Is mainly duo not to poisoning, though
tlds often results, but to tho frightful
wound which any largo dog thoroughly In
earnest ran Inflict. Human beings get off
lightly in many cast's, because, as a rule,
a dog only "snaps" nt them when irritat?
ed, and there is as much difference be?
tween a "snap" and a blto us there is be?
tween a fillip with tho baok of the fingen
and a knockdown blew.
Most poisoning caused by bites Is, how?
ever, probably duo to tho state of the
creature's teeth. The dog tribo, which
have very wet mouths and wet tongues,
keep their teeth fairly clean, while herbiv?
orous animals do not. A dog's teeth are
nearly always beautifully white, those of
a horse or a camel yellow and dirty. Cap?
tain Christie in soino notes on sport In
Soiunliland recently published in "Coua
Sry Life," states that o native cook who
served him had been disabled for two
years by n camel bite received during our
former .Sudan expedition. The work dona
by tho tongue and saliva in constantly
cleaning the carnivorous animal's teeth is
proved to somo extent, by tho different re?
sults of being "clawed" and bitten respec?
tively by the same, creature.
Wounds made by tho claws of leopards
arc poisonous, while those caused by the
teeth are less frequently septic Sir Sam?
uel Iiaker notes that "the wounds from
tho claws of a leopard uru exceedingly dan?
gerous, as tho animal Is In the habit of
feeding upun carcasses some days after
they have been killed. Tim flesh Is at that
time beginning to decompose, and tho
claws, which are used to hold It as It is
torn by the teeth and jaws, become taint?
ed and poisoned sufficiently to insure gan?
grene by inoculation." Ho recommends
that all wounds caused by leopards or
tigers should be thoroughly syringed with
cold water mixed with a thirty-sixth part
of curbolio ueid whenever the wound la
dressed. Probably modern treatment can
Improve upon this ranlnn ? ?? ??
blood poisoning tho severity of the bites
of flesh eating animals is out of all pro?
portion to the weapons by whioh they are
Inflicted. Tho tooth, even of the largest
Carnivora, nro merely tho ''spearhead,"
but. the force which "works" these in?
struments is prodigious. It scorns as If for
the moment the animal throw all its bodily
energy Into the combination of muscular
action which we call a "bite." In most
cases the mere shock of impact as the ani?
mal hurls itself on its enemy is entirely
demoralizing or inflicts physical injury. A
muzzled mastiff will hurl a man to the
ground in tho effort to fasten its teeth In
his throat or shouldor. Then tho driving
und crushing forco of tho jaw muscles is
astonishing. The snapping power of an
alligator's jaws is more or less intelligible.
They uro long and furnished with a row
of pointed teeth from und to end. But the
jaws nf tiie lion, leopard, tiger, otter, fer?
ret or baboon arc short, and the long and
pointed teeth aro few. Yet each of their
species has a biting power which In pro?
portion to its size is almost Incredible.
Sir Samuel Baker, who had a long and
varied acquaintance with the bites of the
Carnivora, noticed that tho tiger usually
seized an Indian native by the shoulder
and with one jaw on onu side and the oth?
er on the other bit clean through chest and
back. "The fatal wound wua the bite,
which through back and chest penetrated
to tho lungs." Europeans are killed by
tho tiger's bite as wall as lacerated by the
claws. A Mr. Lawes, son of a missionary
of that name, was killed after being shak?
en for a few moments by a tigress, whioh
then left him. He died next day. In near?
ly all cases the bite penutrutes to the lungs.
This kind of wound Is characteristic of
the attacks of muny of the felidae. Scarce?
ly tiny bird recovers from a cat's bite for
tho same reason. The canine teeth are al?
most instantly driven through the lung
under tho wing. Thu cheetah, which has
a very small mouth, always bites through
the black buck's throat.
The leopard when seizing smaller ani?
mals, such as dogs, crushes the head.
When attacking men, it aims at biting
through the lungs. Sir Samuel Baker
must again be quoted. In Africa a native
boy was liring reeds, accompanied by his
brother. A leopard seized 0110 boy and
was almost instantly killed by the other,
who hurled his spear so accurately that It
separated tho vertebra) of tho leopard's
neck. "Tho boy was carried to my hat,"
says Sir Satnuol, "but there was no chance
of recovery, as the fangs had torn open the
chest and Injured the lungs. These were
exposed to view through the cavity be?
tween his ribs. Ho died during the
Tho worst of the "snapping" bites of
mammals Is that of the wolf. The jaws,
unliko thoso of the fulidaj, are very long.
A male wolf's head often seems to be more
than a quarter of its length without the
I tail. Sotuo judges sot it at nearly a third
of tho total length of its body. The bite
is always a snap, which will tear away a
mass of flesh from a still running animal
, or inflict a mortal wound on the lower
parts of the body. Tho crocodile bite is
I tho most formidable of tiie snapping order.
i Though its teeth are only a row of spikes,
it can cut off a limb or bite a flsh weigh?
ing 70 pounds into two pieces as cleanly
[ as if they wore divided by a knife.
Horses usually seize a person by the arm
or shoulder when they bite. The result is
more often a very bad bruise, like a jam
in u door, than ? wound. But the great
offender in this respect is "our friend the
dog," and tho greatest sufferers are young
children. Wo have known a little girl of
10 years almost bitten to death by a petted
St. Bernard tlog which was jealous of her
and a boy of (1 mauled and lacerated by a
bulldog for the same reason. As most per.
sons keep dogs for their own amusement
it is incumbent on them to remember that,
though tho best of domesticated animals,
they are potentially dutigerons wild beasts,
and if they show signs of vice should be
dismissed by euthanasia, not sold to somo
one else.?London Spectator.
How It Straek Him.
"Ser-rmons In stones?" quoted Mr. Boo*
lan after his literary daughter. "Ol dun no
about that, but sure there is some good,
urncnta ia |feoBj, there la."?C?w?s*.

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