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Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, January 31, 1884, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84009409/1884-01-31/ed-1/seq-6/

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T ho Bad B<>y on Tramps.
lIF. KKAtW TUB <II<<ICKKYMAN A LED
. 1 lI'UK.
"Come ip. i-i'inc in,*' said the gro
cerynisn to the bud hoy,as he stopped
on the doorstep outside of the grocery
to go down in his pistol pocket for
little change for a trump that hail
come out of the grocery just ahead ol
the grocerynian's hoot, "Chine right
in, don't stand there talking with such
cattle," ami the grocery-man looked a
inad as though he hail left the spigot
of the midasses barrel runt ing.
"What's the matter with you?" said
the had bey. as he watched the tiamp
go into a hak> ry ami coma out with a
loaf of bread ami go ntf chewing the
end of it a* though it was the sweetest
morsel a white man ever put a tooth
into, ami the smile the tramp showed
on one side of the bread as he saluted
the bad hoy through the window was
worth a dollar to the I my. "You seem
to have got out of the wrong end <>!
the bed this morning. What ails you?"
"0, the trumps, ami lieggars, ami
uhscriplions, and games to tieat an
huuest man nut of his hard-earned
money," said the groceryman, as he
threw a hatchet on the flair with
-which he had been splitting up a box.
ami kicked a market basket across the
room. "There is not a day hut some
one comes iu here after money. Why
don't these tramps go to work? Why
don't people that haven't got any
money go to the |oor house? Why
dou'l sick people go to the hospital ?
Condemn it, I have had people come
in here for help for the old ladies'
home, ami the old men's heme, ami to
eell hall tickets to help people that
have been samt-hagged, and 1 hojs- 1
may never see another |>ersou askiug
for help as long as 1 live."
"Ami you never will see another
person asking for help, or coming to
fcuy any of your old decayed groceiies,
if they knew what kind of a hard
hearted old pirate you wa. Why.
blast your old vinegar countenance,
you haven't got a heart bigger than ,t j
mustard seed," said the boy, n> he
picked up the hatchet for fear the
groceryman would split him for kind
ling wood.
"Yes I have," said the groceryman,
and he appeared a little ashamed of
what ho hail said. "My heart is all
right, hut they play it on me. The
Other day I gave a tramp five cents to
buy bread, and he went and bought a
glass of beer at a free lunch place.
That made mo road."
"Well, bread, plain dry bread, is
pretty hard eating. How would you
like to go out on the sidewalk ami '
gnaw a dinner off* a loaf of dry bread? |
The tramp kuew his business. He i
Could go to a saloon with that nickle
and huv a glass of beer as though be
had a bushel of money, and while he |
was drinking it he could go to the
lunch counter aud gel sausage, and
bread, and bead cheese, and liver, aud
Cold ham, all for nothing. If you had
Only a nickel left, and had a full siu-d
atoinacb, perfectly empty, which would
you do, stand out on a cold corner and
Chew bread, with no water nearer than
(be lake, or would you go into a nice
warm saloon, buy a glass of beer and
have a big dinner thrown in for a
cbroroo. Hy gosh, you would go to
(be saloon, and you would make tbe
lunch counter book sick. Nobody else
keeps a warm place for tramps to eat
Iree lunches by buying five cents worth
f goods, and a tramp would be a fool
If he didn't take advantage of such a
chance, when the thermometer is thirty
degrees below xero."
"I swow, I don't know but you are
sright, Hennery,''said the groceryman,
with a forced smile. "I gueaa I would
paralyze 'bat lunch. But a man has
io business to b a tramp, Why don't
4hey go to work 7"
"Work ? Why don't you give one
of them work? Nobudy has any work
for a tramp. A tramp may be a son
of a member of Congress, but if he
hu been on tbe turf until he has had
to pawn bis clothes, one article after
another, to keep from starving, and
looks hard, you doo't want him. He
may be more honest than you are, and
better educated, but bis clothes are
(bin, and he looks seedy and cold, and
h tngry, and hasn't got any money.
You do not stop to think that be may
be a thoroughbred. Yon fire him out,
and he geta so bo thinks there Isn't a
man in tbe world with a soul. . If be
ateals, it is to keep him from starving,
•Bd not to lay on money, like some
grocer*."
"lon there, boy. I don't I
—much," raid the grocery man. "Hut
< ramps are all r-glit enough. Tli<><
..Id people's homes. where old meuutid
women are kept in idle tiers, is what
makes me tiied. Why don't tiny g..'
and live with tlv.ir fblkr?"
"Well, you are u eiiiart Alerk,"
raid the boy. "Why dolt't they live
with their Iblka ? That is good. I>o
you t-up|io*e then- old |M opU: Would go
to a charitable home if they hud one
of their own. They have outlived
relatives and friends who would luk
care of them, and go to the home,
where kind hearted straugers math
the last duys of their lives as hap|o
as possible, and they de|>cnd ujao
what they can get from people win
have hearts, to pay the eipeuses, an.
it is not often that auy person with i
soul kicks at a little contribution l<
wards banking up the stomachs of tie
old people who have beeu pioneei ,
when the country was new. Many <
these old |>e<iple, whom you find fun }
with for being old and poor, were ri
and resja-cted wheu you were poor an
iguoruut, ami it is possible you iuh
be losed out by your creditors son
day and have to go to a poor hnu
and then you can appreciate it wh
some other blaster! skinflint refuses t
contribute to your support. Hut you
will uot lie troubled any more by peo
ple calling lor aid, lor i shall have t.
sign painted and nailed up on the
corner saying there is no use of ant
|K.-rsot) in need of aid to keep them
Irotu want and sutleriug calling on
>ou, for you are down on poor peopb
and consider them dead beat",ami thai 1
v-'ii will kick any |a>noti out doors
who comes in asking for anything, and J
that you growl ami grumble moreover
giving away a nickel than some pen- ;
pie would iu giving five dollars. I
will fix you so you can enjoy a quiet f
life. !.t me take that box cover and !
a paint pot a minute, please.''
"No you don't," said the grocery- ,
0 oi. i a'e with shame ami excitement. J
"You don't put up no sign. What I
said about giving to the poor was said
in a mom*.tit of passion, when I bad a
hot box, but you have shown me wliai
a blasted old fool 1 am, and hereafter
1 will give freeiy to anybody that
cr.mes. Great Ctear, I wouldu't have ;
such a sign pot up (or a thousand dob j
lars. It would ruin my business."
"Well, don't ever say anything
again air in -rarity, that you would
l>c ashamed to e iu print,' and the ,
bad hoy weut out whistling. "Thp Dot
let on the Eye."
She. Liaewiee, waa Sincere.
"One w ird,** she said, "before we
part," and her bright eyes glowed in
the mellow light of the turned down
lamp. "Are you sincere ?"
"I am sincere," he replied, in tom*
whose truthfulness could not l
doubted by any one, save the most con
firmed pessimist.
"Then you cannot give m* a palace
by Ijikc Como?" and sho looked into
his eyes as if she would read hi* in
most soul.
"I cannot, 1 ' he answered.
"Not even a brown-stone front
"No." There was a wonderful firm
ness, a don'tforget-itoess in tho tone
in which this momentous monosyllabic
was spoken.
"Not even a cottage in the suburbs?
"Not even that, darling." There
was an anguish in his accents that in
dicated a mind wholly given up to the
gnawing inroads of a sharp toothed
despair.
"What can you offer me, then ?" she
asked: "What ran you offer me as
an incentive to induce roe to become
your bride V
"A share in #7 a week, with a pros
pect of a rise next spring." He said
this with all the deep conviction of a
roan who knows just how he stands.
"It is sufficient," she said, with a
■mile: "I am yours, Algernon. A
half loaf is belter than no bread."
- ♦
Philadelphia Culture.
"Mother, who is this Martin Lather
that the papers are talkiug so much
about?" asked a fashionable New
York young lady.
"Martin Luther—Luther," mused
the mother, "the name sounds familiar
enough. What has he been doingH
"1 can't exactly make out, but it
must bare been something very nice.
They are celebrating bia birthday.''
"Is be a foreigner V asked the
mother.
"lie iiiual ho, or the people in this
■••■uiitry woulilu't make such a fuss
over him."
"Luther—Luther,'' continued the
I mother; "I met a Mr. Luther iu l'ttri*
lat year—that delightful gentleman,
MUt remeiulter, alt> took u* todiive,
Mini alio ulit-rward horrowtd 9100 of
\nur falher and lorgot to return it,
Imt 1 don't thiuk hi* first name wax
Martin. This gmtlcmaii is probably
-oniu oelehruted lOnylieliinnii, alio in
I coming to this country to lecture.
You mud ajK-ak to your father ahoui
ticket* for the opening night."
Wouldn't Huvo Taken Thorn.
Old man Nelson stood on the side
>alk muttering, when a white man
ante along nini axked ;
"What's the matter. Uncle Ni l*e?'
•i'sc truu'oled in my mind. Dal
• hat's de matter."
"What has gone wrong ?"
"Elmrything'- gone wrong. Dai
hat s gone wrong."
"Have you lo*. anything?"
"Look aheali, mail, what doe* yei
a titer terrygate de old man fur ? Ye
lin't help me none, m jes wu*h tin
v|| an* pa#e along."
"I might lc ahle to help you."
"No. ver kaiu'l, hut If yer nuis'
know I'll tell yer. I'ie been a auckiu*
or dis man what libs iu hear. 1
sucked for him all day. Din mawuiu
• hen I come hi ah, dar wuz cz nice u
ut'r ' britches ez 1 eber wan ter n-e a
iitngiii' on de bannisters oh do hack
xi'cli. Da hung dar at dinner time
Hl' da hung dar till I went home trr
.-it a snack u' aomcthin' tor eat di
•dieiiiu', but jist now when I cum ha*k
I need dat dad lain tuk'eo way.
What did <la want ter disa'p'inl a man
fat way fur? Kf da wauter g winter
lei 'em slay dar till night, what made
'em put "em dar in de fust place?
"•(Mike ter Dat white man mighty per
lite di* mawuiu'. Culled him marker.
Think o'dat, will yer? Call a man
marxtcr twenty years arter freedutn
an' den be treated di way."
"You had no id* a of taking the
pants, did you, Uncle Nel*e V
"Cose 1 didn't. Wa'u't thiuktV
'bout dat. It am de prineipum o' de
thing. Showed dat he didn't hah no
conferdenee in me. Khowed dat he !
wa'u'l easy in his mind while I was •
nrouu'. Didn't waul de britches, ebtn ,
if dose what I'M got on aiu mighty .
nigh gone, hui 1 thiuk dat it Wouldir
liccu little an dat man coulder done
ter let dem britches stay dar a while
longer."
Conwider the Bouroe
"Falher,' said a young man, "I am !
-urpriaed at you. Why dido'l you
km i k the follow down when he called
you a liar? Had it been me, I should
have spatted him in the mouth."
• Yes, but you see, my SOD, I am
several days older than you are."
"What did you do?"
"I told him that I considered the
source, and right here let me aay that
considering the source has saved many
a note. To wisely consider the source
is the acme of human intelligence
Without this disposition, our courts
would be the teats of violeot brawls
and our medical profession would be a :
failure. When a lawyer who has a
well established reputation as a bruiser,
arises and calls a modest and phjsi.
cally inferior contemporary a liar, the
contemporary, knowiog that forcible
icsentment would cause pain and the
disgrace of a thrashing, but still, not
relishing the Idea of beiog called a
coward, aritet, and with a £ rv ty he
fitting the department of a stalesiT.an,
replies, 'I consider the source.' You
bet he considers ibe source, aud judi
cious consideration it r% too. Tbc
other lawyer, instead of calling him
a coward, looked on him as a man of
discretion and quiet nerve. Tbc doc
tors are pretty much the same way,
and in fact I do not think that the
pulpit is entirely free from it I am
a man of much experience, son, and
weigh well what I say. When a man
who is your physical superior calls
you a liar, tell him yoa consider the
source. If he be of an irritable dis
(Mtsition. and you think that be might
place a violent const Miction on ytur
remark and knnek you down, don't
tell him that you consider the source,
but go away to some quiet place where
vou ran cuoaider it without interrup
tion."
A OKRMAW, lately married, sayt:
"It vas yooat to easy as a needle eood
valk oud mil a camel's eye aa to get
der behind word mit a vomans."
Sho Couldn't Lovo One All Day.
A bright-eyed little five-year-old
girl trip|>cd gaily along the street a
few days ago, clinging to the ami of a
gallant about her own age. A not lor
little fellow of about their ages np*
proached, tugging at the liitle girlV
sleeve, and with a look *f mild re
proof iu his eye, exclaimed :
"I say, are you going back on ni<
for that fellow ?"
The miss eyed her young iuterro
gator for a moment, elevated her none,
tossed her head, as she resumed their
promenade, replied :
"I guess I've got a right to walk
with another fellow if I want to ; you
lou't expert I can love you all day."
Two Durned Foola with a Single
Thought.
An old man of filty-eigliL and n
ather lively looking widow of twenty
iglil were wsi.ing lor Justice Mill
• licit be returned to his Trenton, N
1., crurt from dinner Wednesday.
"Will you marry two durned fool-?''
aid the old niau,smoothing the singh
nek of irou-giay hair that was trailed
• p over his otherwise bald head,
I'lie Justice scaled himself, looke*
t the couple thoughlfullv lor a nm
oetit and then remarked : ' Trot ou
• our fools."
"Here we ate, Squire, and tie us as
quick aud a* cheap as you can," the
•Id man said, as he stood up with the
'
willing bride. After a few preliminary
qu stions the Justice ascertained tLm
the desire for marriage was tnutna
with the couple, and in a veiy few
minute* lie bad them securely li*'<l.
The old man put a plain ring on the
woman's fing r, and, after paying tin
necessary fee, starte*l away, remarking
to her as she leaned on bis arm : "I
know I'm a durned fool, but I couldu't
help it."
As experienced showman, in explain
ing how fat women are made, savi .-
"They start with a pretty fat woman
to I >egin with. Then with a silver
ne-die little hoi * are njad> through
ill* adipose or fatly ti#iie, clear to the
lIIU-MIC. The tissues ar then blown
up n a butcher blows up meat, until
no increase in hoik is obtained, which
HI th* arm, arnouuU to a* much as a
, half or three quarters of an inch. It
; when in the pr*gress of the inflating
j process, a blood vessel lie pierced ami
(air gets into the blood,death instantly
i ensues. The fat woman takes her ri-k
on that. The business, if |iersiste<| in,
will kill off a healthy fat woman in
about six years, and don't make a 1
great deal of money either."
A Monkey and Dog Fight.
Moor* bad a big lighting slump tail
dog by the name ol it tiller, ami one
dy a little Italian cauie along with an
organ and a monkey, and, aa lli* crowd
<*tlirred around, be asked the man if
his tnonkey could fight. "Ob. yea; he
fight." said the Italian. "Will be hgtn
* dog T' 1 Moore. "On, yeg, b light
dog—ha whip dog quick," aaid the
Italian. Moore pulled out a f.S mil and
said. "I'll bet you ibis that I've got a
dog b* can't whip." The Hill* fellow
entered it with another five and the
money was banded over to a stakehold
' r, and tbey went through ibe back
yard, followed by ball the people of the
little town. Tbero ley lb* dog on the
gras* asleep, and at the word the Italian
tossed the monkey upon biro. In le >
| than a j ffy lb* I.title brute bad hit
teeth and bia claws fastened like vice
I in the stump of thai dog's tail, and was {
screeching like a hyena. Thr dog gsvr
but one astonished look behind as b*
j bounced to bia feet and made track*
for another country. The monkey held
on until Ksttlev sprang over a ten-rail
fi e* at the back of the garden, when
be suddenly quit his bold and so* <>n
the top rail and watched the dog's
flight with a chatter ol perfect satisfac
tion and danood along th# rail with
delight. The crowd was oonvulsed.
They laughed and roared and hollored
tumultuously. all hut old man Moore,
whose voice could be heard above all
others as he stood upon the fence and
•hound ' "Hare. Hauler: here, here I
Here, fattier, here? Here, Rattler,
here." Rut Rattler wouldn't hear.
Rattler rattled oa and on, across field
after field, until be got to tbe wod
and ws gone from human sight. The
littla Italian shouldered tho monkey
affectionately, and walking opto Moore
•aid : "Your dog not well to day ; mat
be your dog gone off to hunt rabbeet. i
Y-'ur dog no like my monkey—be not
acquaint. May be ven I come again
next year he eome back and fight some
more. Ven yon look for him tor oorne
back ?" Moore gave up the wager, but
he sssertsd solemnly that Rsttler would
have won the fight if he hadn't run.
"The surprise, g-ntlemen. the surpn-e
was what done it," ssid he, "for that
dog has whipped wildcats and a bear
and a abe wolf and every dog in ten
miles of Watktnsville," And all that
evening end sway in ibe night and early
next morning an inviting mournful
voico could he beard at tbs back of th*
garden calling "here, Rittler, here,"
and in three day* alter a man brought
Rattler home, but be had lost bia intep-,
ritis and never could be Induced to
fight anything any more.— Bill At p.
Rscmaf (or tbe Canvas DBXOCRST.
♦ WE
Isrlla JVU io eotait soil sm Hl* aplau-iM no* of
--TOOTH BRUSHES ! *
We have just received
Direct From the Importer,
And which we are offering VERY I/)\V. Our aim ia to keep tbe BEBI
GOODS and sell them at CLOSE PRICES FOR CASH
AT
GREEN'S PHARMACY,
Bush House Block,
We have Telephone Connection, L,
/>• Gar win t k New Htorr.
Garman & Son.
LA DIEM,
do not think, because the cuts repre
sent only gentlemen's wear, that we
have not been particularly careful to
select an elegant line of goods especi
ally suited to you. You will find it
to your advantage to call and if we
are not able to supply you from our
choice and varied stock, it will be a
a email matter for us to order w hat you
may need. We think we are better able
to meet your wants than any More in I
lb !b f< I)t< .
I,yon if Co., Merr harit*. Afieyheny-.tt., Hettrfoute, Pn.
SNAPS FOR YOU !
11l R WAY of Selling off A LARGE WINTER STOCK
AT SHORT NOT.CE.
$40,000 Worth of Dry Goods
Clothing, Boots and Shoes, Hats ad Caps,
Ac. at almost half price Read thta through to th* end: there Is something
that will strike you.
Then on me wifh your shwckela. Com* soon because we will offer something
at less than we can replace them for after they ar* all sold. We can't piok up
such largains every day. -fust some chanoes.
Wsnl ltn**44 n IH-m Omxt* lit a Jari. 'I.- • b.T. BOc
As—bst WW ii ...in - tc s fsrS
Oss tnt et S*w4 Olshn.. . IcS)S>4.
On. lotnf f*st OlssWasH Sr ■ /mrt
Will. Sprauta Uc
Dsn to* ritBBW S. s ysrO.
wa OsUr— Srsnrd
Bwt Shinisgf. I .i Be i jw-S
risM n.-* - toe s >srd
at Vni.i. u>n tsr s rsre
ti-oWlerhttk Osshmwn t'esyar*
Atl-vnul SlMk I*T(MiS IMMM nctftrl.
1M Plsl4 rtansU inc • ysrt
Lsdl** 1 Ouws—srs M t1 ,,, Sic...
Alt <*>! Cnsk—ww, Bta k ssd roWwnl si Imt I * i Wp' tbsr ssrsrkw* .ta.
PtnM t>f*— ns4 ..OS . . . * iu4 lOr s fsri.
lWw A Wmllb 1 1-St . r4
HA slt-eenl fWs ... - lie „ r
Os kills Ons'llr Bis'k tltk si MlssST*-.. IWk,n|l te IM 4 tW.
On* M Kttrs Onslll* Blsck Mtk - fl <*> EWnkcrsfl i*
OssMkslriSspctWlinslMvStariSlli .... I . •• 1 (10
0 10l ilr Hx' * SU-ksllk 175. ttolloc
Cl"4 Mk*. a**rs Ons'l, - 7Se,ls sll Iks srn ninCM
Cntflrwl Slltii frmn .—.... ... Mkc s jmrt sp.
A nr* n4 ni'fWw ,-mj ttl.Ul a*,!* . 7fc CUy (* t, 1 iO
Tie As—l 4*tity 1 t-4 y4 n4ik sll wool Otw CWai and rtass-l •> Su per >4 ham* ifsl nisi siksis Ili
mm eiitaXia fom vfc up.
Mtk VcltsntaMs - 1 < ss4 1 Kay,
VslvdtaMt fmm .lie as.
Colon*! Blsskda Irae IWapUti*.
Wblta Blsskria IVae . 1 Aispnlrsy.
tlmtaraklrta sn4 pranara *|<
Ladiri' Reae t pair S>r Sc
CWIMrMl'a lloan 4 faiir i* c
WHi't A-rk- 4 Bait - Jit
■as'a Wnol H-< I*r. Etaa-aKdra tOt
Man'a *) f!a Sdaailoaa all aroal lloaa.. —.. . ...... .... (ic a pair
Shoes at One-Half Price.
U4taa' Kfcodd.gaprt A 051f... a., . ~ 1 pad pair
•' • OkllSkis. ISk par naSr
Ckll4pm a BMdS a, ti. 90 ul Mr fc pair
Lnilm' Hallo* SWooa r*— —. ISB *•> pair a*
Ls4*m' Italian SWoaa. Mnrnt Qn.tlu tM s pair
Lettat' Bstlon shorn. Ha— Unolitr, warrsMad I *> am) t W
India* Button Sham. French KM ....... ISnlSf rtahl'c haa Bocboatar tasks.
Wm-aHascr Wislcr Pasta 7ke, fl in. I *5 ui I SB inc pair I
Chlldran'a Sail'n-oai 1 Soap *<•> Oaateaaks aoj'aOramwu 1
tWIXW-wshlW,! WL 4 0. 5 00 no ktcs'a All el Ssila fpron •
Mae't Visa It mta I (kia pair, IHI < 4 llmi; B-<Wt 64a palf. *a>"a Honla I*o as 4 Itk pat pair-
Leilaa' Osater and KM Otaaaa VV a pair. *m.a Camw Stack Otaroa tpen tie *i
Nm'a Manay tact Otatae from Ti." ap.
Imtlaa' s4 Oh 44* as'a Mae* tTtatnm, Clrtatan th- tarpasl Stack, and SMwkni 4aors M par nal. taw
, taM taostk'a ass.
Wa ham sa apaoa *a tacnlta* an lha bvrvn. • ham Snl w# him Ferty Tkesssat PsUsr'g
Worth I took ohick Shall fa is tbs sail Thirty Days •* slsmW CaTr ••*••>
SEND FOR SAMPLES.
OsU ss as s4 asm Mean- "*- SWksrsoa If parrhtM s* Hi^rksij.
Ld CO.
Rcllffgnto, Fa.

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