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u HEBRASKA ADVERTISER kates or ADVn::Tii:.'a. One square (ten !iot tr le9C intenl z Zl 5) i-ach addliior.al inr'sri - - I 51 l'u;:aei ca;d,ii Luea or os Jr S3 CI (-'u cvluraa one y tar - - 83 Cf One L'.f ccumn cey?ar - SO C Oiie f.urth; ci.luTTm:ie jcf - S3 C1 One elbih f. laas .- t j ear - 21 CJ- Oce rtiuni3 ix a-ni;. . - 11 6- fr ta'.fc -.'.j'.a sir n nthi - 3i6 OMfositbc.-i.-n,!! liitni 21 CI Oce eua:h ci.i-ca aiiw-sihi li i 'ae culucm tiire iruiiisj - - 33 Ci 0,je ha'.i ci tutsii a i r.i-c'.k - 2-1 C? rrSUHft IVIT TBrKEDAT ST- GEO. W. HILL co Advertiser Elock,3ffa!n S't Between let & 2d; i i i fjy n. f 'vy- Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay . ... rxsTtMSs t'o cirri. i.h cfi... j; IN -r,"T pti rear, lu advance, - t t CI . v vr; ; Subreption, tncst irittriaVy, be j:d inAdvance J- f.-jk Wert, an! Plaia ar.d Taney Job Woi, Ail traasitH ieri.iatu:i dill It ftti ia 4- rar.cp. . . Yearly ajTfri'.eCT'ni,j r,r.rrlT in i'ic;. A!l kiaJ rf J i. K n.K li:J v as u ( riLlir.-. J.b9 ! .b le--'. rv!" f.-i fh-.rt 'k avl revoc6! trn:t LIBERTY AND UNION, ONE AND INSEPARABLE, NOW AND FOREVER.' VOL. IX. 13ROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, DECEMBER, 22, 1861. NO. 14 u'. . , '. j . . ...... ...... - f . t l" I'll F I y, U I N E S S CARDS. Xc TliURMAN, t! i .'.r'i:,:i! s'jc La- ju-t c. i-:3?neeJ a f:rt cl? IIILLINEItY' PRESS MAKING j,-,- r 1-t d r"t rr ml r.-ftti- .!-d .ftr t';J !n'.'t I-?-tr:i r.'"- ' r:n'! r--;.!i.j d - in the try tt Vf.jVi.if. ' 'V i.J, I I l. .-! t t, r.i'.j to p( rturai ili work, yz-ar- ');.'.'- .f t'j-'.'ij ,. Ij't t'.C lUOit BJ-piuVtJ .'i . . -.' tii ui Atkinson's Cloth- l,( t. .;' . ' . : r . f'.'i-'t'.octf 1 ktcclt of AlVnws k V, ......;. u.r'.h i'r of rihin Street oj-pn. t J- !... 1 . V ' f Tf. I't-.-f i: V.'IH 'J xtftil t ' . : t. U .. '- e -' '- v J.e. ('.; p.t.cti, i ..rU-rc- : 5 fc'eerc, t.r l-iai'l art BAKEEB AND II.UH-DI1ESS0R. i litin St.,oj.iit I'. O. Uuildir.g Let. 1st and 2d. Tt'-rn tnV8 to U i atroi .-r fi rm-r liberal rl'-!ipe, and tti'.I on Lur.d raa.y to fchaTe, CilAS. (i. DOI1SEY. EOWNVILLE, NEBIiASKA. S''b T.'ft enm t.f Mai a a'sl Fira Str l i ii.K I'on 7 t. M . i!.Hr.d 1 V,2 and P.'j tt .iiiIllAh e SUiiGL:Ji i fiTi-'T. at ins klv;:ie.vc5:. m c :Mr TV Q V-A w 4 U - L A A A AA ' wV' A tJH AA 1 i i : O V N V 1 1 . L E. N . '1. V- . ", -n- ;:l)y a!)11trP t O t h C Till' ' iC ! t 3 1 ll ii ". : 1 .. -k i.!.,' i ; :a::rTy. :i I i.- n.-w rT;.3;ei . ..ur i v ry ki J, t.!io ciiu -tvle pu';:-p- kj i 'ii i. ' - fi . , i t . !.'.! M;;! t!..-.-t ;:'. vh! ty;es, ' o: vr' t.: -J i .lor at '1.-1 v of V. ( v . v: !! tliri it trp.itiy t '!. i !,.?: ' ., i a;;-t fy-t.i.na Lss ti-eiiufus aud I i ( - I ;.:r t- ::. - !'- a ..i'. o. Ai! kiiiii jf I'.-iur' : roniJ iato Plioto- ii j. 5 JL iHvitxiitJ, niitiui. Ai LAv, k.'J..itiiL.i j , , iljA.Uxjitl , rr, V:i ill, NEBRASKA. ' h'. i:ri.;n:fc TaHor Sltcp, by - .r. .u ts--.fct ari'foTtd tylt, asJ : LIILLIIT5IIY GOODS! :iUS.3MUY IICTTCTT, Aiii)'t;ii'-! to th ll! of Bromnrille and t1 timiy. that ' t jnM. tocctved from ttt VfcV East a u.cniticeut !k ut C-tiJi-'tii"'? of ornrts find Ha'.s,Il- L-jz-s, a lower.-:. 12- " ' tr.:-5 c'. iTiv.iilhf atter.::cti of tte ffl -r;r.jH$ " nil-iy ATTORNEY AT LAW, 12 W.a i-rati.ce in ail ka m '- "---iv. j iSI w . ti ft a a HOVvAIID ASSOCIATION PHiT.MDrLFniA. .rnrvz-Unt Imiituina eUaoUatf.t ly jriel Ta aymtzi.Jr r jr.? ir ore S:Vi ci?.-! Ifisirtstt? " '"' rf .'U.Vf.f cf r.WouU l:urcjct. k4 ''W('"'-? Aw XAe Cure if DU(asvt of the Sexual lICDICAIi ADTTCH civen jralis, br tbe Actlcs a;Cv---!ei:Aprt onSpern:atnrrbn.a.ap1 otber 1, j. . vim s, uu it- n t,n KfcAifc- ..-ji e u-.f .tyea i ibe JisoPiiiry. t ?ut in K!eJ leaei iui-eJfi-eeof iarje. Tvoortl.reeSiaa.ps accepu 1Urea J.E.J.KEItXTX HOrGlTTOK. Howard Aa- .2, SonUl KllitL reet. Plaidalt.bia,ra. iceu:Ur 12, 1j61. . Jke Faolstepj of Pealii. Tb f. liowinj in a trars'atica from no ar:ient is t-urj asrtd Lj nothing witb wLicb we are acquaint e.i in the Sj.ni.-h laccuse, except the 'Odt of Luuis df LeuL."J OLi 1 U t tbe enul its elcai'oera break Aroure ill n ne aiid awatf, To LcT FuTl Life, in ill 'rie?, g.iarj tTray, And Iht elern fooiste j.s of decs Coii.6 tlti'.ing on. And while we tiow tht rolling tidt, Duwn L;ok iur flow leg ininu tea glido Let ;:s tbe jirc3c;it b .ur era,loy, And detia ;h future dieiiaj a joy, Already fEt. L?t no rain bopa deeife the OiIcJ happier let hope to ficd To-ruorrow thaa to-day. Or g' lden drani3 of yore were bright, Liko tb!tu tii a present tLall dfaiiht L:ke them decay. Our like haticj; streams mat bo, Inatinto trie enguipbin sea Are doomed to fall Tb rea of deaih, whose waves roll on O'er king &ni kini ra, crown and throne. And e wallow all. JL'Iliu the river's lordly tide, Alik tLs Lumbic r ivulots glide To t'.iat sad wave ; Per.ih Uvt'.s poverty aud pri'f, And ri "Ii -icd ponr clep si Ja by tide WitLin tho grve. Ocr birth is but a slfetia p'a-o ; Lif? is but the running of tbe race, And death tbe goa: ; There ell cur glittering toys are brought The pth iijno, of all uoiougbt, U fund of all. See, then, ho?" poor end little werth. Are all .Lose glittering toyj cf eartU . a'l3at lu;e u? here 1 p-enm of a tlecn that dea'.h rnu?t"Ireit, AUi ! be'.ro it bids uj 7va, We di."8ppcar. Lnrg ero the damp of earth can "blight, Tho check's pure gl jw of rd and white Ciis parked avray. Y.;uth rmilfcd and ail was heavenly fair aA Lis fiv't tnere, AtdwLert arc thi-y ? 5 "Where is the stresglh that fpnrT"d decay, Tne step that roved 0 light and gay, Tl, Le&rfa bli'.L t-.ne? The strengi.;i is poao, thoitp is ?U-w. At.d j'-'T jrriws wcari.j('rr;0 atl wo ! Wttn cC" c-iaei on. SAVED FilOLI riRn BV LIEUT. K ART IS CALK. "Ey Jt:ru-alem ! this is rutin to be nighty ticl.lisli lu.nis, Max !"' exclaimed Ftitr Day, a sharp-.-hooter in ray c'-m-pay, as we accompanied by Cox, the sccut were running at terrific speed over a long, rolling plain bordering on the Little Ilpd river iu Arkansas, pur- ut'd by tome eight yelling demons known as guerillas. "There's no help for it, Pete," I re plied. "We must reach the river end hide zmcng the woods, if we would es cape." "Gosh all fish-hocl;s ! I'm gettin' tired, returned Day, depondicgly. Seeing; we began to lag, the pursuers raided a shout of victory which caused him to spring forward like a race-horse, at the same time crying, 'Thunder! ain't they close; come, boys, let us fly along; ws'il be eaten alive by thore cusses, if they catch us." "Shyt yer mouth, -greeny !" retorted Cox, angrily. "Yer lo'iin yer wind by gabblin' ! Jist use yer pegs us fast as as yer kin." At this juncture an appalling yell broke from the guerrillas, end on turning to note the cause, we beheld two Iadiitn, undoubtedly their allies, jom them, and at once leave them behind in the iict pur suit. -Use yer pegs now, greeny !'? cried ibescetH to that terrified individual, who was tearing alcngf considerably ahead of us, his eyes dilating with fear, and his hair streaming behind him having loct his cap. If ye should go under new, 3'cu'll have the pleasure of knowin' that 'twas nobody's fault but yer own." Of this Day seemed to be aware, for he pressed on with redoubled vigor, never stepping to gaze behind him. Samuel Coi, Peter- Day and myself were cut on a spying tcur among the mountains in the northwest part of the State, cur principal object being to as certain the exact whereabouts of a noto rious ruerrilla captain, who, with his j band, was doing much damage to th Unionists in that region. The army was J then ttationed at cr nctr the rillage cf Fayetteville, and, as our regiment was with them, we were ordered to report to Col. there. After scouring the country around for some fifty miles without meeting any foe, we had - almost determined to return, 1 when, just towards the close of the 13. we accidentally stumbled upon the en campment of the viilians, situated in a little vallsy among the hills, and partially surrounded by a thick grove of oaks. ; The way wo discovered it "was this: Peter Day happened to be some distance ahead cf us, while making fcbservations, and, as h9 was trudging along demursly, the figures of several horses tied to trees, suddenly rose, cr seemed to rise, directly in front of him. Now, always, no mailer where he is, Pettr is sure to give vent to a long whi tie and a ludicrous exclamation, whenever he is frightened or surprised ; and, in this case, his faculties were so astonished, that a shrill whistle, accom panied, by the inevitable 4,Je-ru-sa-lem !" told us that he Lad discovered something new. . As we started forward to ascertain the cause, that personage came- tearing thro' the bushes, yelling ia ternfidd accents, "Run, boys, run ! fifty thousand guer rillas are after me ! run, afore they catch you !" . Ten fierce, unshaven ruffians, followed close behind him ; but hardly had they revealed themselves when tWq rifles cracked, and two fell never toTise. "Guess ?veM batter make tracks, Max; they have too many to fight yet," said Cox, as the eight came tearing on. "Go ahead," I answered ; anddhuawe started ofl.cn a dreary, monotonous run of ten long miles. On, en',- over hill and date we sped, until we reached the long plain hereto fore mentioned ; here.the guerrillas strove their utmost to overtake us, well know ing that in the fast increasing darkness their prey would ecae and. their strode hold be known. The Indians who joined them were their "-allies, and swifter cf foot thanihey. We did all we could to reach the, river and Day and Cox tucceeded in their aim; but. I was not o fortunate ; catching myj upon my face, and, ere I could mt was pounced upon by the two redskins, who, although I fought manfully for freedom ; succeeded ia binding me securely. Neith er Cox nor Djy perceived my mishap un til they dore headlong into the water, when the farmer exclaimed hopefully, "Keep up a good heart, Lieutenant, and I'll get yer out o' that fix !" I then submitted patiently, at which the Indians seemed well pleased ; it was evident, from their actions, that they un derstood the words of the scout, for they kept rne closely guarded. When th9 guerrillas came up,-their actions and threats were awful to seo and Lear. "Thkehira to the Red Rock and burn him !" cried one. "HaDg him up !" cried another. "Cut the dd rebels throat!" .'Drown him ! " "Slice him up; we're hungry!" The latter suggestions seemed to be adopted, for I was hurried along. to a high, flat rock which overhung the river, and which is called Carmi-Rata," or "Red Rook," by the savages. The top of this immence boulder con tained about one and a half acres ; a sol itary hickory tree stood directly in the centre, and with feelings of horror I be held bonps, a skull, etc., about its roots ; and 1 also noted that its trunk was black ened by fire ! Soni8 time was passed by the guerril las in delating upon the best means cf disposing of me." I lay a little distance from them, towards the edge of the rock, and by working myself a little way at a timei I soon ms nag ed to gne over. It was inky dark, and I could hear the wa ters swash against the rock below. I was temyted to fall over and drown ere I would be burnt at the stake. Then I rolled back again. The Indians were for turning acd tor turing me, and I saw from the appear ance cf all that such was to be my fate, should no help come in time ta avert it. Earnestly did I pray fcr it then; I tho't of my friends ; would they assist me soon enough ? I thought of home and the dear ones there; but I re ensured not; I was only dying for my country, atd what better death could I die ? Finally the Indiana seized me, dragged- me toward the tree, and bound me ! there. I thought that a signal t-a my friends wouhl hurry them up a little ; so elevating my head End opening my mouth to its fullest capacity, I yelled forth be fore my enemies could prrvent it, "Help ! help !" Here a rough hand was placed upon my mouth, and a knife "tickled my ribs," uhile a rough voice ejaculated, 'Stop noise cr get kZltd ; shut head or die ; ugh !" I complied by maintaining a strict si lence; but I wns satisfied1-; I knaw that if my friends were within, call, they " Could not fail to hear, But ba-ten to my 6uc?or." . As soon as I was lightly bound to a tree, a pile cf 'fagots was placed 0 round me, and several torches lit. Retiring several paces, the savages amused them selves by throwing their knives asd tom ahawks at my unprotected head, each time coming so close as to cause me to iart, and to start made me almcs: yell with pain, the cords cut my flesh so deep. This W3s funt'or the guerrillas, as they testified by deriding shouts of laugh-.er, and nurrerous stinging taunts. My patience began to give way;, why did not my friends come to my release2 Had they deserted me in my hour cf trouble? While I was thus ruminatieg, a hand wa piacea upon ray arm, irum DuM. t e i i j tiUU L Li, c- a O Hi itiliuiui r- a. aaua.L hurridly in my ear. .? "I will cut your bonds, (suiting the action to the word) and then you mast run to the edge cf the reck with a yell, and jump off. Jump a good, ways, and Pete will receive you in a c&noe; be very careful, new!" and he was gene before I fully comprehend it. I kept my hands in the, same position for some time; but at last I thought the proper moment for action had come, and with a thundering yell I sprang toward the edge. The Indians immediately ran in front of me to intercept my prcg rsss; but, bestowing a hearty kick cn i 11 art other,! leaped far -vut into the darkness. Down, down, struggling and kicking we went, uoiil. with a heavy plunge, we struck tbe river, and down to the very bctirvn we'sank, each struggling for the wa.-tery. I had my hands upon the sav?ge's threat, and there I hung with all the -tenacity .cf a tiger. When we arose totetop m? antagonist was neariy dead, nxA flinging him from e I locked anxiouslycbout for Pete. In the struggle we had hardly Isft the spot where we Lad fallen, and a few moments I heard hi3 voice calling, "Martingale ! Martingale ?" "Here, Pete, here I am." returned I, cliinbmg into the canoe, which came JL1 .f - w.wu-r C f Zm. -a- -4 clo?e to me. "How are low?' you, Oiu iei-.; Live nnd kicking, Max," was the reply. vBut who in creation did you have with you when you jumped?" "One of the Indians; but he is paid for trying to stop me." "Tried to stop you, did" Further utrance was silenced by the long, mournful cjy cf a wolf on the op posite sid of the river, upon which Fete commenced to paddle in that direction. "That's Cox," said he's waitiu'- for us. So it proved; he.joined us cn the other shore, and with renewed vigor we com rnencvd to paddle up the stream. Meanwhile the guerrillas, just rousing from tht-ir 6tupor, if such it could be called, came rushing down the bar k in time to hear a defiant .shout from their escaped prey, and the faint dip of their departing cars. An hour's hard paddling brought us within twenty miles of cur army's en campment, after conceiliog tha canoe in seme bushes, we commenced our journey arriving safe and sound at the head quarters. Since then, I have often pondered over, and fervently thanked the ail-wise Providence, and the Irave scout wha so magnanimously assisted me, for that Ear row escape, . There is a sory told cf aa imperial highness waluing thrice on the same evening with an English lady at iha Court of Beil'in. The lady, flattered by his attention frankly expressed her grat ification atthe ccravliment. "I did net intend it&s a compliment," was the ans wer. "hen," Eaid the ' lady, "yor.r highne must be very fond of dancing." "I dest dancing," was this unsatisfac tory response. "What, then, may I ask, can Uj your' imperial highnes'a motive for ancing?" "Msdam," was the ex alt1 personage's curt reply, "I dance toyperspire.". ' In hh lecture on 'Peculiar People,' Mr. Gaujrh narrated the follotvlng amus ing incident, which is more thoroughly maudlin and meliuw than anything in TooJli?s' Two men, after drinking acd carous ing ail night at a salo-on, started in the racirning to go home. It was a beatui j f, .unily mcrning;. As ti-py staggar- ed ci-jng, the fallowing conversation, arc-se: lx 1. 'Well, less leave (hic)ma:trs to the first man we meet.' Ko. 2. 'G.ed.' - The two tottled aion for a short dis tance, v.hsn they chanced to meet a man in exactly the same conditionUviih them selves. The individual was imrnediate- ly treated to the following interrogation: 3 Ko. 1. 'I say, (hie) old fdter ! We h'ave ot into a litilo 'spute; want ye (hie) 'elp U3 out. My froa here says that's sun, pointing upwards to Old Sui,! ' n 1 who wa3 blazing fiercsly down upon r 3 ' them, and I say it's moon. Now were noin 'to leave the matter to yon. What , or (h;c) mo-oa? Ths person addressed braced himself, after a considerable difficulty, against a lamp post, and commenced by scrutin izing, as well as he could, the burning orb overhead repeating in a meditative tone of voice: sun moon sun (hie) moon.' After a short observation, he explained: Fact is, gen'lrnen, I am a stranger in this part (hie) cf the country and I can't tell whether it's sun or (hie) moon " ' Thus the matter was unieseided, and inebriates No?. 1 and 2 reeled away, baffled, disheartened, by the unsatisfac tory result of their search into astrono- a j - a w A mischievous Yankee ons day stopped before a shirt manufactory, and teai on a card, hanging cut?ide: "Handj on Bo' soms Wanted;" He stepped inside, asked to see the "boss," which individu al leiug brought before him, he inno cently inquired whether they wanted hands on fcospms. We do sir. "Then I'm your man: trot out your females, and 1'il tke my pick." "There seems to be some misunderstanding here," remr.rl.ed the proprietor. "JS'ct to my thinking," replied the Yankee; ''you want hands on bosems, eh?" "We do-"' "Very good, you see them hands?', raid Yank, hoid- ing forth his two. which re more re- rnarkaUe lor size tnan cleanness, "i see then, certainly." said the ehirt msrehant. not comprehending the other's j meaning' "Good again," said Yank. "The Lands ors here; now all we want is the bosoms to put the hands on. So please jest trot out the feminizes, and we'll p&jbahly. make a trade." The merchant explained the meaning cf the ign, and the Yankee left, amid the mer riment of soma three or four clerks. The nreprielcr took in Lis sign soon aft cr, and when he hung it out again.it read thus; "Wanted, good shirt-besem kers." "Wc Scrcr Driaaa." The anecdote related below is worthy the attention cf both soldier and civil ian, for the denial of indulgence to the appetite is alike a virtue in both cases: On the stand v.-ere seven cr eight sol diers from the S'h Me. Regioient civ;!, well-behaved, intelligent men, a3 was apparent from their conversation. While at the same house in Lincoln there came into the cflice a poor eld blind ccnn stone blind slowiy feeling his way with his cane. He approached ths sol diers and said in gentle tones: "Boys. I hear ycu belong to the Eighth Regiment. Ihavea .soaia that regi ment.". "What is his name ?" -John ." . "Oh, yes, we knew Lim well. He was a Sergeant in our company. We always liked him." 'Where is he now?" "He is cow a Lioutenant in' a colored regiment, nnd a prisoner at Charleston." For a moment the c!d man ventured not to reply; but slowly and sadly he said: "I feartd as much- I have no: heard of him fcr a long time." They did not wait for another word, but these soldiers took from their wallets a turn of money amounting lo twenty r 1 , , 1 v. i- . I ly advanced and sa;J inebriate Io. 1. 'How bright (h;c) , . . , , . e v J "Bjvs. this ii a LindsDm? th;r.tr. and tac- moon iuines! T , . , . , - i (n , . v treat for the company.";. . . i-.o. I- 'That ! it s (hic)mocn. T ..... , . ' . , T v ' I waited witti interest for the reply. ! dollars, and ofTered it to the old man, saying. "If our ;who!e rcmpany wa s here, we could give)ou a hundred dollars." The eld man replied. "Boys, you put it in my wallet for in?, for I am blind."- 13 jt mark, what followed. Ansth?r individual ia" the room, wha had looked on the scene, as I Lad, with fc-elins cf pride in cur citizen soldiers, iromtdiate- It came "No, sir, we thank you kindly; wi ap preciate your offer but te never drink." The scene was perfect the first aet was noble, was generou3, the last was fjrand. The following is the advice of aa ex- ! T rCk ,.., 1, .T.IT, n am.ninz J uure ta a jung lawyer, on aon-.issioa. 'Sir, it wtuld bel lie to trouble you farther. You are perfect; and I will dis- f ... . . i , ' j . misa v&u with a few wcrcs or advjee. i . u -m j t "..J v' , which you.wjil do we.l to fcuow, aou will find it laid down as a maximioT civ ii law never to kiss the maid when you can kiss the mistress. Carry cut this principle, sir, and you aro safe. Neve 'bos' to-a goose when she Las the power to lay gclcien eggs. Let your face be long, your bills longer. Never put your hand in your own pecket when anybody's else is handy. Keep your ccnsciecce for your own private"! use, and don't trouble it with other men's matters. Piaster the Judge and butter the Jury. Look as wise as tin owl, and be as cra cular as a town clock. But above all, get money; honestly if you can, my dear sir, but gt money. I welcome ycu to the bar." Jnppphus Comp, formerly editor cf the Atlanta Confederacy, but late proprietor of the Georgia. Times, has arrived at Na-hville. He was forced to leave the South ft'or or five weeks since for pub lishing ararticle looking toward recon struction. Mr. Comp was Clerk cf the Georgia House of Representatives, and hence had a good opportunity of gaining a knowledge of opinion in that State. lie informs the editor cf the Nashville Union that there is a universal despon dency, at least three-fourths of the peo ple believing that the sooner ihey return to the Union the letter. Jeff. Davis is, however, the -greatest tyrant living, and there can be no expression cf Union scn ment or peace until his armies are de stroyed. The rebel leaders acknowledge that if McCU.-Ilan is beaten they can have no hope. Gov. Crown, he aiTlrms, is for reconstruction, and recalled the Georgia militia from Hood because ha looked up on the war as hopeless. A couple of weeks ago the Govern ment received a dispatch from the King c: Bavaria asking for full information about our financial attain. Recently a loiter was received snd referred to the Treasury Department, from Earl Rus sell, asking in behalf &f the British Gov ernment, for full details about our Inter na! Revenue system, the cnpe.city and re sources of the country, the accumulation of the c,'5:5nal debt 2nd su?h other Hr j ticu'ars 83 a pruJent -Bri tih capitalist would be likely to inquire about before inviting in our bonds. The indication is at least not an unfavorable one. The Government will furnish the fact a3 soon as possitie The hat was parsed round in a certain congregation for the purpose cf taking up a collection. After it had made the 9 circuit cf the church, it wa3' handed to the minister, who, by the way, had ex changed pulpits with th? regular preach er, and he found nt a penny in it. He inverted tho hat ever the pulpit-curhion. and shook it, that its emptiness might be knnwn, then raising his eyes toward the filing, he exclaimed, with great ferver lI thank God that I have rot back ixiv hit from this congregation. , Abernethy's prescription lo a wealtoy patient was: Let your servant bring you three or four paii3 of water, and put it into a wash-tub: take off your clothes.and get into it, and from head to foot rub yourself well with it, and you'll recover." "This cdvica of yours seems very much like telling me to wash myself," said the patient "Well," said Abernstbv, ":r is open to that cljc-ction. A post-cilice clerk 3"i. 1 the following: "A 'man call d at tee sneral d?l:Ttry one dy, when I haj-per,; for. the mo- i t'.j nh:ie in the cf- I.I Ut I 1V I t . He wLUilrd I stopped to to tbe windfW ar.-t savairv ly iqutrcvl, "Whose dog he wus whittling for?" O.i? cf Uncte St m's. pf:. said he, quite cjtupos'.-diy.' t 1 j . 1 to say. An Irithn.Rn su.-i::,?::d for re-fu-iiPj; to rty a d. cu.r's liil.nhen he was A ! ailrJ whv he refused ti pay.. "hat for --houM I p.iy ?" tald PdJ iy; "hu:e be u:da't pis a rai atiy-hlg but sonnj some emci-cs, ai.-d the iicrac::9 could I kvep in ma stomach at all, at all. Tat was employed at a fura-.ce. Ha was ordered is taVe tha cx-cm with, the cxen, and dra w seme iron to a par: ticular spot an 1 dump it. He brought the load to the place designated, and aff er peucu!atlri wildy before hid cxn, exclaimed : "Rare upl rare up! ye baste, up acd throw toe lead overboard." The Unite J States Cirt jit Court, New Yoik, has given "a virdict cf Si .GOO to a person for damages sustained, whild crossmiT the strett, from a stage. The j hw U that pedestrians have the first right to tne crying, ana that drivers o: vc..i clea ir.u-t consult the safety and ccr.vei.i gnce of the person crossing the street cn foot. . A few verdicts cf this kind would have a good effect. Ths Detroit tribme announces a great oil excitement ia Michigan, owing to the discovery of oil ia the S.igar.aw Valley. The hear; cf the fever is in ihs vicinity cf Lakep'jrt, St, Clair county, where Jandsare being rapidly tught up and ahafts sunk. Lxpriec-oi explo rers have boen ever the groua-J, and find every indication of oil to be feu 1 ia Wes tern Pennsylvania and West Virginia. "Steel your heart," eaid a cenddrrat father to his son, "fcr you are going now among some fascinating girls." "I had much rather steal theirs," said the un;ompromis:ng young man. A Jerseyman was very sick and was not expected to recover. His frier.ds got around his bed, and on of thm s-.yi, "John do you fel willing to diu?"' Ji..Ln made an effort tD give Lis views cn th-.i sulject, and answered -.with Lis te-.3 voice: "1 think I'd rather stay vh?r3 I'm better acqiainted, A Jew who was condemned tobeh-ng. . ed was brought to the gallows, and wvi just on the point of being turuod off whtn a reprieve arrive d. Whn informed' of thio, it was expected 1.9 would lrtitanil? have quittt J the cart but he ttaij to s?e a frliyw-prict-aer hanged ; and being askid why he did not go about his busi ces. ha said; "Ha va:ted to see if he could bargain with Mr. Keich for ths ether gentleman's cLiLl-s. "Judge- Canton, of Illinois, who is a copperhead of the m.Uir sen, dii hoi fear to say in a recent speech : "Taa abolitionists, if thi-y can succeed ia abol ishing slavery, can control the country. Our intereit consists ia n aiataininir our relations with our c!J friend? and politi cal allies, the s'avehclders, and in pre serving k'avery." The Peoria Mail, Springfield R?jr? ter, Bl-omir.gtoa Democrat, JisoQ (Wis.) Patriot, and Evans ille (Ind.) Times, all cepperhead sheetj, hive goue t::der since the Presidential election. .' '"The way of the tran'gresscr is hard." One of the MidJietown,Ct.,c!ergym?3. at a vecent torchlight display, exhibited a transparency 07er his door, wi h a quo tation from Ger.sis 22, 15 "The ar-tL c: the Lord calif d unto Abraham cut of Heaven a second time." Jeff Davis reports h'13 Treasury full, and asLs no appropriations. Gu Henry rajs lfce fciJier3 "l-ave not been paid for fifteen months." And Mr. Tren- holm, announces that ihe money in hi exchequer is vorth'-ooly six cents cn ths ,i-,n.. Meia Got, rat a country!" Twenty thousand o'p'hrs v.ere oaerel and refused far two ceiiaj bucks" h: ivek in Vera: cat. Somebody adverti.es ia th Rahrnmi Dispatch under the h-ad of "Lot" a pair of shoes, sorrifp.Lat wcra, Ltlcng ing to a servsnt gtri."