The St. Louis Republic. [volume], June 01, 1902, Magazine Section, Image 54

About The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

                
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THE REPUBLIC: SUNDAY. 'JUNE 1, 1902.
NOT ACCORDING TO rP.OGRAMME.
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err--
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HIS FIRST TRAGEDY.
Tve been wanting to try my new safety fen ler guess I'll run Into that peasant
up!e forward there."
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And he did so. Fllegcnde Blaetter.
A WATWARD WIND.
Too Unil.
Grace: "If- too ' .d that Miss Waddlns
ton doesn't Bet married. It's true that she
l.i very p',nln. but flu- would make an awful
ly KOod wlfo for srme man."
Maudo: '?. unci her mother has such
loi'ely old colonial furniture to hand down,
too. Chlfapo Record.
(I) It imii Herr Katuffel-Sehnltz, clolb'd
In dignity and a Ions cloak.
f'OOlI AfMT.
"Vou won't hn lothcred any more by the
minister, para."
"Why not. hoy?"
"Because h told Mis? Judsnn. my Sunday
school teacher, that he'd finished our Mock."
Life.
A Mild Inquiry.
"Of course. I know what I am talkln
about. I've cross,.,! the ocean twenty-threo
times!" - .
"Twcntj-tlireo times! Pardon me. hut on
which. fide does that Icavu you?" Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
RAPID DEMVKRV.
-
J 'Hen. Po.pl. I want you to earn' t lili
I wn'er conductor down to Herr Knoprke,
but he lively about it!"
I
G) But a. frolicsome wind showed that a
long cloak may cover a. multitude of family
provisions. "From Meggendorfer Blaetter.
IN'h
New Cook: Tm afraid I can't take the
place, mum."
Mistress: "Why?"
New Cook: "Well, mum, the kitchen ta
ble ain't big enough for ping-pong!" The
Eketch-
Gnllty.
"Do you know anything about hypnot
UmT" asked the girl Intlhe pink waist.
"Weil," replied the fluffy-haired maid, as
she held up her left hand to display a spar
kling solitaire to better advantage, "you can
Judge for yourself.?' Chicago Dally News.
Ho Kick Coming.
Mr. Timmld: "I've decided to speak to
your father to-night." '
Miss Koy: "Ol Somebody told you."
Mr. Tlmnild: "Told mo what?"
Miss Koy: "That he sprained his ankle
yesterday." Philadelphia Press.-
The Latest.
"Is the manager up-to-date?"
"Sure: he's Just Introduced a game of
ping-pong In the balcony scene In "Romeo
ana Juliet-' " Yonkers Statesman.
"Won't take me long to
"Confound It! to stumble like that!"
"I hope nothing will happen to the conductor!"
njc-k ;
"Hero's the new water conductor that
my master wanted mc to bring you!" Meg
gendorfer Blaetter.
W0. I lS r'Tfp --.lu:'--J'v: &V ', " !
The shadows on the blind revealed to Jorklns a fearful tragedy In prcgress.
"Without a moment's hesitation the grave and Intelligent officer forced his way In. and
found Mr. and Mrs. Dovey-practicing ping-pong. Scrapt
I III ft III II X'fr 1 I JT- I el l "n
ii if 1 j.i L.
ALTRUISM.
Mnnd (newlj mnrriptli: "Vou look very inelanciioly, Gcorgp. Arc you sorry you married me?''
George: "Xo, dear ot course not. I was only thinking of all the nice girls I can't marry." ?
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Maud: "Oh.iGeorge, how horrid of you! I thought you cared for nobody but me?"
George: "No more I do. I wasn't thinking of myself, but of the (lis appointment for them." Punch'.
Mrs. Bellairs (to visitor): "So sorry, ny dear, I can't ask yon to ttfay, but I have promised to take
Evy for a drive this afternoon."
Visitor (pleasantly):'"jly dear, I'm just off. I know it doesn't do to keep the horsps standing about."
Evy (small" and irresistible): "Oh. mummy, dear, I do hope the 'bus won't be crowded. Punch.
TRIALS OF OFFICE.
gfts r
Email Boy: 'Tyear. Ids. It Is alive. I sor it move." Moonshlni
AT HER ATTORNEY'S.
"I don't see why you should be so disturbed In losing this one case. "Why, that bap.
n.n, tn r f,..it.n(tp ". Tlrr Dorfbarhier. ?
f... .. ... A. lUI..... . - - .
PUBLIC BATHS IN AFRICA.
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Meggeadorfer Blaetttr.
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