SUNDAY MAGAZINE far MAY 8. 1904
SALTING DOWN BABIES
IN certain localities in Europe and Asia
the people still adhere to the exceedingly
cunous custom of salting new-lorn babies,
notwithstanding its cruelty and danger. The
method vanes with the dilTcnng nationalities
of the people using it '
The Armenians of Russia cover the entire
skin of the infant with a very fine salt, taking
great cure thjt the salt reaches all the spaces
!ctwccn the lingers and toes, and the de
pressions in the body, such as the armpits
and the hollows under the knee-,, for not a
sjKt of the surface of the ch'Idmust remain
untouched by the salt. The Suit is left on
the babv for three hours or mire, and then
washed off with warm water.
A mountain tnle of Asia Minor is even
more merciless than the Armenians They
keep their new-born babies cohered with salt
for tncntv-four hours. The modem Grciks
sprinkle their babes with salt, ami even in
some parts of Germany salt is still used on a
child at birth, but in a much more humane
manner, by rubbing a little bthmd the ears,
or by placing a pinch of salt on the tongue,
or by filling a little paper with salt and placing
it under the garment. The mothers imagine
that this will give their children health and
strength and keep the evil spirits away from
This custom, when earned to excess, is
cruel, the salt inflaming the skin and some
times causing such intolerable tortures that
the child dies in convulsions, but the ignorant
and superstitious mother, believing that the
salting process hardens the child, that without
it the babe could not grow up into a healthy
man or woman, hardens her heart to its
It is not known, definitely, how this odd
custom onimted. but probably some an
cient innovator, observing the preservative
power of salt in keeping meat sound, reasoned
that it would be a good thjng to salt down
young babies for a few hours, and thus im
part something of the strengthening and pre
serving qualities of the salt to the puny
offspring of man.
"NOT AT HOME"
JAMES S. CLARKSON, surveyor of the
port of New York, former chairman of
the Republican national committee, was first
assistant postmaster general dunng the Harri
son administration, and all of the prominent
politicians of his party called on him, from
time to time.
One day Col. Perry- Carson, a negro who
was Republican national committeeman for
the Distnct of Columbia, called and insisted
upon an immediate audience. The captain
of the watch refused him admittance, but
took his card to General Clarkson, who said:
"Tell him I am not in."
When that message was given to Perry
Carson, he went out. crossed the street, un
hitched his horse, looked up at the post-office
department, rehitched his horse, returned and
"Next time you sees Ginral Clarkson, tell
him Perry Carson says dc next time he ain't
in to sit furdcr away from his window."
TOM WAS NOT AT HOME
ONE afternoon in the Press Club at Wash
ington, a burly young fellow appeared
beside a table where Tom Hannum (a former
Washington correspondent). Bill Sterrett, and
other kindred spirits were in spiritual con
ference, and said to Tom. "This bill has been
standing long enough, and I'm here to collect
it in money or hide."
"This is a club," quietly responded skeleton
Tom, "and you should have sent in your
Just then a stalwart attendant took the
intruder by the arm. conducted him to the
door, and returned with the card, which he
handed to Hannum. Tom scrutinized the
card curefull). then looked up to the waiter
and said "This is a ery dear fnend of mine,
but I'm busy now. Tell him I'm not in."
A FOOL EVERY MINUTE
LITTLE Clarence (who has an inquinng
mind) Pa, why do men climb the
Alps, and hunt for the North Pole, and get
Tbst in the desert, and go where the cannibals
will eat them, and do all sorts of things like
Ur. Callipers (who is inclined to be pessi
mistic): Because, my son. there is a fool
bom every minute, and there aren't enough
fool things to be done here at home to keep
them all busy.
ELEPHANT PAPA SAW
LITTLE Charley Pa, was the elephant
you told Mr. Ryefuddle you saw in
the city a white one'
Mr Whoopler: Why. I I that is
Mrs Whoopler (in a tone with ice down its
back Charley, the elephant your papa saw
wa neither white nor sacred 1
By T. C. McConnell
(The following lines suggested themselves to the writer upon hearing
c profound physiological lecture The speaker said it was an estab
lished fact that the average husband and wife, after living for years
together, grew to resemble each other, and he further claimed that an
individual would grow in time to resemble a particular person,
avocation, or in fact anything with which they may have been for
sometime intimately associated.)
And now.'as I ramble in fancy I sec
A new look on the people I meet:
The photographer, much like a picture is he;
And the poet resembles his feet;
The pianist appears like a person of note;
The dressmaker looks like a bride;
The lodge fiend a countenance wears like a goat;
While the monk is a trifle cross-eyed;
There's the dealer in muslins, he looks very dry;
The swordsman resembles a fence;
The base-ball left-fielder now- looks like a fly;
And the banker is like thirty cents;
On the lawyer a will-ful expression is traced;
The singer's a person of tone;
George Washington's namesake is real hatchet-faced;
The butcher displays some back-bone;
The phiz of the milkman resembles the brook;
On the clock-maker's face there are digits;
The sausage man carries a hang-dog look;
And the housekeeper's face is like Bridget's;
There's a face on the printer shop's devil like pie;
The caqienter's head is quite level;
The soapmaker's visage betokens the lye;
And the editor looks like the devil.
DOH'TS - By &im&a TSaomas Antrim
Don't demand love incite it.
Don't try to reform the world.
Don't make cither a comedy or tragedy of life.
Don't waste anything particularly your time.
Don't be fast, and don't be slow: just be lively
Don't open at Love's first knock the oftener
stay when in.
Don't be a he-shrew man's temper foolishly
all who witness.
Don't disturb women's beliefs a woman without
for few have charity.
Don't be niggardly; set aside a gentlemanly sum for
of your legal companion.
Don't neglect teeth or hands having fine teeth and well-kept
man passes muster with women.
he knocks the longer he'll
lost wins the contempt of
faith and hope is lost.
Yoking? L-ocMswaip's Waterloo
By S. E. tliser
Young Lochinvar came out of the West.
He wore a slouch hat and was otherwise dressed
As the gentlemen dress w ho round up the wild herds,
And he flourished a gun and, with sulphurous words,
He sought the caf(5, where he leaned on the bar
And invited attention to Young Lochinvar.
"I'm a rattlesnake when people monkey with me,
I'm poison, I'm thunder and lightning," said he,
"When a man sneezes at me I pull off his nose,
I have Whitehead torpedoes on all of my toes.
When I travel I take all the seats in the car.
And I eat tenderfeet!" declared Young Lochinvar.
He held up a roll in a fist that was brown.
And announced his intention to purchase the town:
"I have money to stuff into cracks," he declared;
"When I "sasshay' down Wall Street I'll have 'em all scared
I'll corner Steel Common and send it to par
For the fun of the thing!" shouted Young Lochinvar.
A "gent" with white hands and a mild, modest air.
Who had tailor-made clothes and eye-glasses, stood there;
And he said to the man from Montana: "You betl
You're the greatest that ever has happened as yet.
You're the boss, you're the champion, that's what you are!"
And he doped what was swallowed by Young Lochinvar.
That night in an alley, a terror whose head
Felt as big .is a tub awoke as one firm the dead;
His pockets were empty and hanging outside.
His weapons were gone, and he sat there and cried
As he thought of Montana, so fair and so far.
And the walking so poor for a Young Lochinvar.
VALUE OF AUTOGRAPHS
THERE is no subject upon which more
illusions seem to exist than on the
subject of distinguished people's autographs."
said a dealer in these things. "An auti
graph. as the ordinary person understands it.
is merely the signature of some person of
eminence Well, let me say nght h?re that a
mere signature is worth comparatively
nothing. I can sell you the signature of
almost anyone on earth from the king of
England or the German kaiser nght down to
those of actors and pnze-fighters for a dollar
"Of course there are very stnking excep
tions to this rule, as for instance in the case
of Shakespeare, whose mere signature ciists
on only one or two documents besides his
will, which is kept at Somerset house in
"What are of value are what we call
'holographs that is to say, an entire letter
wntten with the person's own hand and by
him signed. This is the "autograph" that is
worth money particularly if the letter gives
some decided opinion or reveals some new
phase of the wntcr's mind.
"Let me tell you about one remarkable
instance of ignorance on this score. An
Englishman some two or three years ago
inherited a great collection of pipers, and
among them there chanced to lie a large num
lier of priceless letters wntten by Evclvn.
Pcpys and many other histoncal cilcbnties
statesmen, potts ant! vo tin.
"Well, what did the inhentor do' "I will
preserve the autographs," said he in his imlie
cihty. forthwith he eagerly cut out the signa
tures anil destroyed the letters. The only
satisfaction we have is knowing that he
realized aliout seventy-five cents for each
"autograph." whereas the holograph letters,
hatl he kept them, woultl have liven worth at
least two hundred ami fifty dollars each."
WAS A CRAB0L0GIST
BOOKER WASHINGTON, in lecturing
to his colored people, tells them this
story, and it hits hard those of his own race
who have tnetl to injure him. He says
"Omc upon a time there was an old col
ored man who was having great success
catching traits. He trail a tremendous box
more than half full, when a passer-by warned
him that the biggest anil best crabs were
crawling out and would escape. The old
""Thankee, sir, much obleeged, but I
ain't goin to lose no cralis. I'se a cralnilo
gist, I is, and I knows all 'bout tie crab nature.
1 don't mill to watch "em. 'tall. When tie
big crab fight up to dc top, and when he rs
gittin out. tie little crabs catch him by tie
luig. and pull him back. He cain't git out
And then Booker Washington says: "My
fntntls. I have !ecn informed that there is
something of crab nature in human nature;
but it must lie altogether among white folks,
antl not in our race."
ANDREW QLEESOiVS ELOQUENCE
FOR twenty years Andrew Glceson, con
tractor anil builder, was a mcmlicr of
the Republican national committee for the
Distnct of Columbia. He controlled the
Insh vote, anil Perry Carson controlled the
negro vote; ami they were very successful
Carson, the negro, was a natural orator;
but Glceson, nch and powerful, could not
make a sjieeth. One evening at a political
meeting, where one hundred Inshmcn min
gled with aliout two thousand negroes. Perry
Carson did not appear, and the crowd called
on Glceson for a speech. He hesitated,
shook his head, but finally arose and shouted:
"God bless the Insh," both white and
It was his first, last and only speech; but
it pleased the crowd all right.
TRIBUTE OF TRUE LOVE
IN pathos anil deep affection no love-letter
ever eclipsed the one found in the knap
sack of a Confederate soldier, after the battle
It told all about home, and concluded with
this poetic effort:
"It's hard for you'uns to be livin' in camps.
It's hard for you'uns to be fightin' the
It's hard for we'uns from you'uns to part,
"Cause you'uns got we'uns heart."
LONG TIME BETWEEN BATHS
AN earnest man said to have descended
from a man who once wore a gorgeous
"coat qf many colors" in Egypt, had rented
a house and was about to sign the lease,
when the real estate agent remarked:
"Of course you understand that there is
no bath room in the house."
"'Dot makes me no difference," wsis the
reply "" Ve only vaxits it for von year."
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