Ajql3l Her isrstxxie
"Didn't rou know her at colleSJ?"
"Oh, yes, but that was before hr father
In the Market.
VUDM "Did J oi) bur a nobleman while
jftfeV' No 'ecJy hopped." New
I T'W I'LU FIX I ooicnWAY " Jn
. M - I crittew r u & llrzris-mv-
C 3 J7 I TJm. !2N2$&r ND2V R KM ' : -BaH) ku.i. '- SA ?:'u.rLUDll-t- ff.Wd.W-.'4
ivcnme a trust magnate."
Legal Adyfce Wanted.
Judge: "Well, prisoner, what havo you
got to say tor yourself?
Tramp: "I don't know, your honor.
What would you sayl"-
THE ST. LOUTS
rorrn of nnhtt.
"Herbert has b"t running an unto to
long that he had forgotten all about horss
"What did he do trhtn the hone
"He crawled imflnr It to sen what was
U-e matter." Cleveland I'laln Dealer.
Itnrd I. a i' It.
"Just my luck!" ehe exclaimed, stamp
ing her Httl foot fnKrliy.
"What's the mattnr?" he asked.
"There's a pin." iho returned, pointing
tt one on tho floor near her foot, "and
you know tho sjpentitlon. of course."
" "Se a pin and pick It up. throuah all
the day you'll hae cood lu'-k," he quotes.
"Kxactly." she eald. " Through all the
day.' and htre !t Is evcnhiK when I see It"
Vrrellct of the Whole rurally.
MrytUIa: "I never mcourai;il jour
brother, but he has propoird to me. I am
ure he has no rcaion for wanting me to
Miranda: "N'e. he hasn't my renson at
all: that's -what we all -M when ha told
us about It." Chatttnooir-i Ncwi.
Common llcredltnry Tralft
"Doctor, what do jou reaard m fie
surest hereditary trait that Is. what pe
culiarity Is most likely to be Inherited?"
"My obFervatloni lead me to believe that
the desire to escape work 13 nlwut the
most common thine that peoplo Inherit."
Too 3Incb So.
Mrs. Jawviorker: "Po you are win to
lcavo mc, Brldcet; haven't I treated you
like one of the familj 7"
Bridget: "Indadc, jo have, mum, an
Ol'vo shtood It :is lonrf as Oi'm coin' to!"
Maria: "Wliat be tho attractions at the
opera-houso this week, Joshua?"
Joshua: "Electric fans, Maria." Tonk
, , - . .- ii.i-.r- 1 ( " " 9 ('"w'it Tl ONI O' )
-- t k TMEM AUTCRMOBKBSJ
rrx s - AiiTflMORiLP v L -
& A A E PESKY .rC- fX &W
RErUBLTO: SUNDAY. AUGUST 7. 1001.
1V4. bj V n H'drat- Great Eiltaln Htrtttj
Stipes: "Say, Stae. will you lend m
jour lawn mower for an hour or so?"
Stages: "I can't do It. old man; but tf
you like you may keep that now shovel a
while longer that ou borrowed last Janu
A TU-np-Ycar Hint.
ne: "This Is leap year and nearly half
She: "Yes what of It7
He: "Not a slrs'e Elrl In this whole
town has treated me to Ice cream yet."
A IVonderfnl Squirrel.
Several ruralltles wro intently watching
an electric fan in a Chestnut street store
window the other day, and to the amaze
ment of fL bstander the one said to the
other, "Gpc! but that must be a wonderful
squirrel wnen h4-cnn travel around at a
speed like thatl" Philadelphia Presa.
jPfl T 'VV I
Tie Could Not.
"Brer 'WTUIams. kla you pernounc ds
name r Iem nutslan itlnrulli?"
"No, subl I cot false teeth on de bot
tom en only two on top." Atlanta Consti
tution. Tt Made Ho Olfferae.
Mrs. Farmer: "Joslah, I'm otn to town
to-morrow to buy a new carpet for the
parlor. 'What kind had I better fit?"
Farmer Prosper: "Any kind ye like.
Deltndy. It make no dlffrnce buitlM,
exmlnliter, croquette, or Inrrata. Suit
yeridf." Kansas City Journal.
Policyholder: "But supposa I should be
run over by an automobllew Would I a-et
anythlrit or would my helra et any
thing Agent: "Certainly, Ton win And by
looklnr at your policy that It covers all
the 'ordinary accidents.' " Chleiro Trib
une. As IT Thought.
"Ah. professorl" exclaimed the conceit
ed youn? man; "I wish I knew as much
as you do."
"You would know more than I." replied
the crusty old professor, "if you on!y
knew as much as you think you know."
As In Knighthood.
"Oh. George." sighed the romantic Rlrl.
"I wish jou were Iiko the old-time knights.
I wish you'd do something brave to show
jour love for me."
"Gracious!" cried her fiance, "haven't I
agreed to marry j-ou. and me only getting
$3) a week?" Philadelphia Press.
Judge: Tou let the burglar go to ar
rest an automobllistr
Policeman: "Y"s. The autolst pays a
One anl adds to the resources of the State.
Tho burglar goes to prison and the State
has to pay for his keep." Fligende Elaet-ttf."
(To be Continued Next
INFATUATED WITH HIMSELF.
"There's Percy. He say3-he's In love."
"Oh. he has been for a Ions time, lie's
road at Blsplay.
Mrs. Gadd: "I hear Mrs. Dadd Is going
Mrs. Gabb: "Yes; she moves every year
since she cot her new furniture." Brook
"Do you lmffl
"Oh, htfa real
Tat, but do yoa
know anything abont
hlmT la ha honest?"
HaTn't I Just
told you what hi
Standard and Times.
Clarence: "That hi
a mighty rood look
ing costuma, Grace."
Qraea: "This old
thing! It's io shiny I
can at my fsea la
why It's so gooJ
1 o o k 1 n r." New
Mrs. Glffle: "Mr.
S'eeth says that Miss
McFlub Is an eques
trienne." Mrs. Splnks: "WclJ.
mebbe she Is, but If I
can't say nuthln'
rood about a pusson,
I b'lleve In not talk
In' about 'em at all.
That's me." Pittsburg-
The Ideal. ,
She was beautiful, and yet 2
She had senso and she could COOkl '.
She was fair and witty, but '
She was only in a book. '
Chicago Recort-Heraja. I '
&...&&& &. 'VfiTt
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