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THE ST. LOUIS TiEPrJILK StWDAY, OCTOBER n. 1004
v
3
-AIN:D HIIEie, 1ST ATVTEn "WAS IMZ-A-TTIDI
ropj right
llrir't firnt Trllaln Rights HrSTl'iI
MUlE
GrVEN
4WAY
FREEJT
WHYDONT You
TAKE YER MULE
QH- IMP P RLlt
ROAD?- TinMT VOIP
iKnoW rr1; agim imp i Mxy
WHO? ME TAKEA
MAUD WHY SHE
WONT DO NoTHldC-
For nobody
Is'l.rr'iMZsf.rrrliS. nr-rtrr -
'TTi TTDDrTX fl "BETTER BE
ILL ARREST A II if.r.r.rp KEERFUL
HER AND TAKE MULE ImR-PI'ceaHJ
-4TTH, x Given li
rcsr Pound i v
' IiV-:::-i:- AWAY cr?jfc
You'll resist)
AH OFFICER )
V Will. You
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MULE
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JAWAY
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KEERFUU1
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HER OWN PRIVATE BUSINESS.
& I fl I
SQUELCHED!
TflODr ;
Sfothtr: "Tou must fuvs your crusts and some time you will lie rlcli.'
May: "Did pa have a lot of crust wlicn he asked you to marry him?"
PROOF POSITIVE
mm
I.VSIIl.TnD.
Mashlelgh: "Tou appear r'frved to me,
don't you know."
Mi;i TVeeri'-prh: "W1I. I would rth-r
appear rcerved to you than for yoii "
P3 3'B
APPRECIATED AT LAST.
Fat Tarty: '1 was hljrhly Insulted to
day" Thin On- "How wa thnt
r.it l'art . "I was ahout to hoard th
rlojtrd v,Wx the guard said -Uoth catcs.
please '"
t "!-" TV
The tramp: "IjtAr. can I tit on th tp
an' eat this pl7"
The IjhIv "No. come Into th dintnj:
rooni. I want to show mjr husband that
som ono appreciates my' cooklnjr. Chl
enso Journal.
Xo Plnce Like It.
The artist -nas of th impresilonlst
school. Ho had Just Blven tho last touches
to a purplo and Wue canvas when his wife
came Into his studio.
"My dear." said he, "this Is the land
scape I wanted you to suggest a title
for."
"Why not call It TIome'7' she. said,
after a lonj; look.
" 'Home'? "Why7"
"Becauso there I no place like It," lhe
replied.
ralnfnl.
A maiden, who lived up In OIoucstr,
Felt 10 bad to have, people acoucester
That when a youns man
Bald: "How are jou, Nan?"
She aa!d she had pains all acroucester.
Houston Post.
o noon koii miunr.
,
Tount nrern: "Ar lli.r purr ranarlc??" bw.
Dealer (confidentially): "Yus, sir. I raised Uicm i?S froin canarj' seed."
Run DOTra.
nicks: "What's the matter with your
neck7" r
WIctai "Btle."
Hicks: "Boll, hT
WJcks: "Noj bile. Automo." Pklladel
phla Ledser.
Uncle men's Wit.
"3Iebbe de world otci ou a Ilvln,"
aid Undo Eben, "but It ain't cwlno to
run no delivery wagon to pave you do
trouble of collection "Washington Star.
Jnst I'tke n A nmnn.
Husband: "My dear, did you notice that
gentleman who Just eot off th car"
Wife: "Do you mean that dark, heivy
set man in the light gray suit, brown
derby hat and low tan shoes, wearing a,
turndown collar with a narrow black tie
and diamond oln. carrying a book and a
pilk umbrella with a heavy gqld-mounted
handle?"
Husband: "T-s. I gueus "
Wife: "No. I didn't notice him. Why?"
Kennebec (Me.) Journal.
He: "Don't you think Miss Buddlngton
has rather a lvld Imagination"'
She. "Yes. Indeed Why, she actually
Imagines she can sing"
ObllclnC I-d.
He had been calling four yeant.
At last It seemed as If the Inevitable
moment had arrived.
."is lie stood In the vestibule, pale and
nervous, he was confronted by her little
brother. The lad had nn Icepick.
"What Is thnt for?" gasped the young
man.
"For you," responded the boy. "Sister
said at supper she thought you would
break tho Ice to-night, and I didn't want
jou to ait vour Angers."
From somewhere In the distance a
cuckoo clock calld the fatal hour, and all
wa still. Baltimore Herald.
A Mnder of Oroernphr.
Representative Hpatwole of Minnesota
was asked by a friend about a mutual ac
quaintance who lives in the Congress
man's district. v-uiigreM
"Is he rich?" was one query.
"Well, that depends on geography." .aid
Mr. Heatwole. "Out at home we consider
him very rich. Ho Is worth about a mil
lion dollars. If he lived In Nejw jfr,.r i
suppose he would be thought fairly well-to-do
while tf h Uvea in New. Tork f0,ka
would be dropping dollars la hla hat."
Collier's Weekly.
"W should be thankful. prof!"r, that we are not IlTlng In the days when Inns
cent people were broktn on the wheel and
Projrreas.
"So you are going to put a new food on
the market?"
"Yes." answered the .bustling business
man.
"What Is It made of?"
"Haven't gotten as far as that yet. But
we havo Its name selected and tho adver
tisements written." Washington Star.
Ensy to finrs.
"Pardon me." said tho seedy-looking
man. who was laboring over n. letter-in
tho hotel writing-room, "but can you tell
me how to spell 'tcmporarllj'?"
"Certainly," replied his slirowd neighbor,
giving the desired Information, ".ir.d tho
other woni is 'c-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-c-d.' "
Chicago Journal. . ,
She: "In't It romantic to mike love by
the mellow light of the moon?"
He: "I'cs. and besides, jour dad can't
kick oa the gas bill."
In eed.
"My dear," said Mr. Noodle, anxiously,
"one of the neighbor told me that you
were calling for help this afternoon "
"Indeod I was." replied Mrs. Noodle. "I
called at tho intelligence office."
Trom tho Laboratory.
"We ought to havo a chemical fire ex
tinguisher In the house," said Mrs Mc
Fret. "That's an unnecessary expense," nM
the young heir apparent. "If a fire should
break out, we could sprinkle sister Bosle's
hair on It." Cleveland Leader.
Dn-narcrou.
Blnks: "That long tunnel on the P., D. .5.
Q Is a very dangerous place."
Jinks: "Why. there hasn't been an acci
dent there for year."
Binks: "But within the past we-k four
young couples have started through It free
as air and come out engaged.
Color I'nmcntloned.
George- "Tou certainly stretched a point
when jou told Miss Janders that her
cheeks were like roses."
Harry: "Well, aren't there yellow
ro3es?" Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Hnrd to AnsTrer.
Teacher: "If j-our mother bought four
baskets of grapes, the dealer's price be
ing twentj-tno cents per basket, how
much money would the purchase cost
her?"
Tommy: "Tou rev or kin tcX Ma's great
fit beatin' thera hucksters down."
"help murder!"
IIRB TTME TO WORnT.
Marryat: "I tell yon, old man, my expenses are gettlnx so big; rm barely able to
make both ends meet."
Ascum: "I suppose It worries your wife a good deal."
Marryat: "Well, yes, I believe she does worry a good deal whenever she wants n
new gown or hat." nttsburg Press.
nv rnojtr.
Blnks: TX you enjoy life at a summer hotel?"
Jinks: "Very much for my wife. Fortunately I can stay at home myself."
JTKR NniailDOIM.
"Does she go much In society?"
"Well, she could not go any other -rnsy. She welgT,, at least tnfl pounds"
A1VAT OFF.
TVAI.KISO AGIX.
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The lirute: "What are you thinking of,
Mary?"
Mary: "I am dreaming of my jouth."
,,- .. . . t. .1. .. I I .!. I .
x ni nniit. .kit. tuu riunia mc iar- r-j;u:i i on: Acrc ROC3 Our lavorltc HaP-
wm lofik In vour yea." let airaln." a
V.Vary: "As I 'he. Mike, de. theatrfcnl
rfson is on
let again."
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