The St. Louis Republic. [volume], June 25, 1905, SUNDAY MAGAZINE, Page 6, Image 56

About The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

                
SUNDAY MAGAZINE for JUNE 25. 195
-vHli ' i
i sir --'
i
'Mr
"This Han's Sister ThinH the
World o That Brand of Sin"
and that's the way it
was with all the rot in
thelwoiomjianic. and
if all the niie girls in
the wot county hadn't
licen there smiling at
us and waving tinf
fy handkerchief, and
looking too Maine
nation sweet to have
trouble jiushcd under
their prettv noses.
we'd have laid
and had
joint debate
on the light
house and ls.il
ticking mat
ters there and
then.
We didn't
do anything,
however, ex
cept stcj on
each other's
feet and swear
at each other
gns'T anl e.-isv
through the
corner of o'.ir
mouths: hut
a we marched
along to our camjiingsjots wes-ort of nautralry knew
indde u that the May training that year wouldn't le
a reiilly helpful and patriotic a"air without there was
further and mitijilcte understanding lietween Starks
ami Hynm on certain j"ints that I needn't rial orate.
I have an idea that the spectators, after a tinte,
noticed that something out of the ordinary It'ilin'
v.u stewing lietween S, csjicvially when the all air
at the brook wa over.
The Starks Stalwarts were deploying down the
hill toward the brik, and the Byron Hears were
also deploving along the brook's bank-:, and all
could mx- that we were due to collide. Itut neither
C.ip'ti Hritt nor Caji'n Cole would order "Halt!"
We knew then for sure that there was something
special i lietween 'cm; but the rot of u were by
th.it titne too mad to proji.-k on reason. Wo
didn't tare. Xo wlii(K-r of "Halt!" We were
glad Cap. Hritt snapjicd the Stalwarts into
la:xiii formation and rammed u against the
Hear on the double-quick and they lieing on the
sloping bank just naturally fell into the brook,
and a they fell they grablicd u. each man his
nan. and in we piled on top of them, all hugging
so a'Tcctioiiately that half the rod was nigh
drowned when they finally got u untangled.
ld Colonel Zaci lieu Jordan came whurroojiing up
on hi- fat gray mare jilii kity. pit Kity. plack! wl.oa!
and I never heard a man su ears". Hewa-haking
lioth fists, and hi chin wa jiokul out K-tveen old
Keturah Ann's ear, and I'll 1-et that a full pint of
new nun li.nl settled right into the end of hi nose.
"Ve're the everla-tin sp'ilin of the whole mu
ter'" he yelled. "Ye come onto this ground to
day, hookin at each other like Durham steer.
Ye'velsvn ready tol k horn
ever sine. e am t wortn a
turnup crop in Tophct. neither
crowd of ye' And a for drill,
ye c.in't drill Is.vt-Ms.sl. Git to
vour quarters, all of ye!"
And pkukity-plack! away
imlcrsl the fat grav mare
that Colonel Zacchciis.
Jordan followed at the
jilow--i.ul with a lot
more comfort than he
wa feeling that day
a-straddling her.
Well, neither com
pany would havcaddtil
muih to the jiolite
sjHx.tat-.tIar e"evt of a
dnll just then. We
had tmtd-golr. in our
hair. mutche across
our f.ucs and were
soaked Hut every
man wa like a barrel
of lime the water on
him and in him made
him burn hotter.
So we at flown on
either side the brook
on one.side the "Smut
foot. Clean-foot-,"
(that was the Stal-
Farvon Worn-ll Warn warts' nickname. 1-e-Built
Line a Perheron cuXm: we were mostly
WmWL
carriage hop men), the " Hoot-foots. Shoefoots" on
the other bank (and those were the Hyron. for
there were a lot of little shoe shops in that town).
We sat glaring at each other like so many cat.
cleaning themselves, each man tiding a handful of
gra in-tead of a tongue. We had other employ
ment for our tongues.
"Did you hear what Cap'n Sile Cole done lat
week?" shouted one of the Hears. "He stood on
of his paint ladders tip on end right out in the ojicn
liild, n:n tip the ladder so uick it didn't have
time to tip over. stepjK.il out on the air, h'istcd
the ladder uji another length. n:n to the toj.
ketched the ujijier nmg. and held hitnclf right
out anil's length by the slack of his britches and
then got flown again lefore the ladder had time
to fall. That's what our Caji'n S:Ie Cole done
and we're all of us good for one length of ladder,
and then tell u can ye? that yo've got a man
in Stark sj.ry enough to light!"
"That's only a monkey trick." replied a Stal
wart. "It ain't test of a real man. Here's what
our own Caji'n Mom: Hritt done lat week. The
two Iioom men in the mill-jiond were standing on
a log arguing whuther Mt Corrison's bat-eared
bulldog can lick Todd's brindle terrier. Mom? Hritt
hollered to 'em from the mill door to hitch that
hig onto the slij chain, cause he wanted it. Hut
they were so buy chawin' tobacker and talkin
flog they didn't hear Mom?, and so he stood there
in the mill door, tied a rojie to the end of a pick
pole and thrown I it sjiear-fa-hion. and it went forty
rods and stuck right into the end of that log those
men were standing on. and Mom give it such a ijui k
and almighty yank that the log come right out of the
bark and left the men st.indin' on that bark and
still talkin'. And they never known I that log was
gone till they heard Mom? callin for another one.
Xow talk alxuit your havin muscle in Hymn!"
"Aw. it's sjirynes what counts." said a Hear.
"We'll lick ye and lie a mile away liefore you can
get your lists uj."
"Let me tell you one thing." "'iroke in a Stal
wart. "If our Caji'n Moe Hritt had leen Gen'ral
George Washington and had come to the Delaware
River that time. Mose wouldn't have watt is I for a
lioat. Xo. sir! He would have just kiikcd uj a
bubble, stood on it and let the wind blow him
across. That's how light on ftmt Mose Hritt is.
and we all take after htm. and if it's lieing sjiry
you're countin on, come out of your dream!"
That's only a sample of it. It was every moment
getting clear that there was no chance of com
jiromising the thing. That question of spryncss
and muscle had got to lie settled. We sat there
and scnirTcd away at our clothes with grass tufts
and hollered louder and louder and waited for night
to come and the jieojile to go away: for the feeling
of the girls were always first to lie lonsidernl in
the old militia flays.
And Captain Mose Hritt stood with his ami
folded and scowled across at Captain Sile Cole, and
Cajitain Sile Cole stood with his anus folded and
jiasMil back the comjiliments of the season not
saying them, but looking them.
They let the ret of us do the talking.
And that lieing in the good old lime when new
rum wa steady 1 leverage even for the liest of folk,
and jejijcr-a.s hot and the stan ling uji for your
own rights and your own town a matter of duty.
most of the folk that came and hung around the
jilace said thing to make u inal. just a jmijile
like to cut! and woji-e a dog's ears hard liefore
ste"-l" iving him on. That is. all excejit the two
ministers, the jiarMin from Hyron and the jiaron
from St.irks. They came down to us and talked
and talked, soothing and deprecatory, and every
1n.1v was very uict ami let them talk, and rod sidy
said a word when they got done. Cajitain Moe
Hritt never unclinchcd cither his eyebrows or his
mouth, nor did Cajitain Sile Cole.
So the ministers hurried away and tackled
Colonel Zaccheus Jordan, who wa then standing
around hi tent trying to get the kinks tint of hi
anatomy, and Colonel Zach. who was from Standish
and hated Imth Starks and Hyron, roared to 'em
that he hoped to Gad the Clean-foots. Smut-foot
ami Hoot-foot. Shoe-fiMit would jjet together and
claw theutselve into fiddle-strings like the Kil
kenny cats, yo that they never could sjrile another May
training for him. There wasn't much milk of human
kindness left in old Zach Jordan late on a training
day, nor much new mm in his black liottle either.
The coaxing ministers couldn't get him to stir a j-g
tointerfere. Heonly promised that he'd atnbledown
to look on after the light got to going in gKd shaj?.
The selectmen of Hyron and Starks who were on
the grounds said that it wasn't a town officer's
business to interfere in mititi.t matters That wa
liefore Sherman said that "War is hell", but the
V
, '.r
TlttMonSevtvr LaV Hint'
selectmen intimated
to the ministers that tk
a man with a uni-1
fonn tin wasn't ex
actly a standing ad
vertisement fit the
js?ace of Heaven.
Si it hajieneil
that the only one
the jiarsons could
interest in interfer
ing was old I'eleg
Warner, the Eustis
constable, and they
brought him
along with them.
It was getting
near sundown
then, and the
fanner folk that
had chores to
do and a long
way to ride were
trailing o'T along
the roads lead
ing from the
four corners.
Ami the girls
hail to go too.
of course. It
1 x iked as t In nigh
we might lie jire-
jiared to lcgin the long-Iookcd-for festivities soon.
"Gents." said old I'eleg. "the elders here has en
tered complaint about ye. They say they've heani
that yeare jilatinin'onsomekiiidofriilic'lousactions.
I sha'n't allow no sitih goings-on in this town."
We were eating our squares of gingerbread and
sijijiing new rum. and aid aUmt a uiitt h attention
to old I'eleg as we would to a niisuito from
Husli Ihi.
"Which side are you favoring. Constable I'eleg
Warner?" inquired a Hear. I'eleg wa on their
batik.
"Xttther," said he.
"Then stand in the brook on neutral ground
where you lcIong."said the Hir. giving hitnahutti h.
In he went. We wouldn't let him is me out on
our side, and he waded away flown the stream.
Using language that constables aren't sujjoscd to
wso when there arc ministers proent.
And after th;t for some time milling wa said,
and the dark came down. We stacked our gun..
The Hear stacked theirs. They hung uji lluir
tsH-kadcd chajie:iu n the bayonets. We hung uji
oursiove-jiijs jiimjmn cajis. We took o'T our ls-lt;
so did the Hears. Hoth sides rolled uj tlu-ir shs-ves.
We drained o'T the last mouthful of new- rum in
our canteen: and so did the Hears: and then the
e:iijty canteen rattled on the ground together.
"As it ain't generally customary to ojicn such little
ociasion as this with an invocation, elders." sug
gested Cajitain Mose Hritt jmlitely. "and a you
are standing right in the center of the Uitilevard,
might we ask you to retire?"
"We shall ii"t." said the two of 'cm together.
Xow we hadn't
I cvn paying much
attention to the jiar
sons for the last half
hour. One wa on our
bank, theotheraeross
the brook
the Starks
jiarson with
ourlloek.the
Itvron sheji-
herd with his
own !! k.
Their ami
were folded
like the C;
ami. and
SCOW Its to".
" Ye shall no" dees
grace the fair fame
of the town of Stark
thus." sai.l Elder
DaviMin. "It shall
ne'er Is? said that
the inccnistcrs stil
idly nigh and spiernl
the young men ojs-n
the vial fif wrath
for the worship, of
the Heelebub of
battle. I will stand
tin this side the burn
and I 'arson Wonncll
n the aitber. and rarson Davion Errbmv
we'll knKk il-n the Lot,hed as Though They
iLjntiHfJ ,'i jvr li Wire Caterpillar
sl
i
thev
mttlti l.'RW vi
ns ,HM Iff 1 1 II 1 CkV
I 1
M