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Under the Spreading Oak AN ICE CREAM DAY. Hans Sobert Tells About His Sen sations in Springtime. Hans Sobert, the philosophical Dutchman, stood at the corner o Bluff road and Abbott boulevard the other morning. He was in his go-to meetin’ clothes and wore a smile of Fort Lee happiness and content. “Well, Hans, this is one glorious day,,’’ suggested a “Palisadian” man. "Veil, didt you oxpecdt to limit two days to-day?’’ he replied. "One vas goot enough for me. Dis spring pissness iss verry oxcitement to my atmiration. Id gifs me more bleas ure as neffer vas. I likdt der see der children all tressed oop fern der Sun day School, und der drees all ploom ing mit green leafs, unded der birds singin likdt dey vould split der liddle throads, under der crass all green mit idself, unded der hyacindths smelling so sweedt by der garten, und der wioleds so pine dat dey loog likd der paby’s eyes, unded der cool vinds plowing droo the drees, und effery ding so sweed und peautiful dot by my geeminetty vonce! I feel like yumpin’ mit gleefulness. Say, do you know vots der pest ding in der vorldt?’’ lie asked, with a look of pleasure in his eyes. “No, what is it, Hans?” “Peing alife on a day like diss. Ids der greadest joyfulness ve haf. Ved der like diss iss der ice cream of der human heardt, belief me.” TALE OF THREE GIRLS. Also the Tale of Kisses that Goes with the Story. John Davidson, of New Orleans, who was visiting his aunt in Palisade, Mrs. Charles T. Logan, loves a good story. Among the good things he left behind was this: Three girls, one in her teens, an other in her twenties, and the third an old maid. They went to a party one night, all three remaining in the same house. They agreed to tell each other at the breakfast table the next morning how many kisses each one got the night before, and each to use the word “morning,” to indicate how many times they had been kissed. When the girl of seventeen came down to breakfast, she said: “Good morning! Nice morning this morning.” Then the girl of twenty-two came down, and as she came in, said: “Good morning, this morning! Nice morning this morning. I hope to-mor row morning will be as nice a morning as thi^ morning.” When the old maid came down she put her head in the door and said: “Hello!” —Mrs. Kate Vassault, formerly editor of the “Delineator,” was a guest of Mrs. Telford Sunday, April 30. Lucky All Around. “Oh, Mr. Murphy,” exclaimed Mrs. Halligan, stopping him as he tried to slip by, “did you hear how the draw ings turned out at the fair last night?” “No,” he replied, resignedly. “Who won ?” i\ow wait till 1 tell you. Who do you think won the first prize?” “I don’t know. Who?” “My little girl, Katie. Wasn’t she lucky?” “Indeed, and she was.” “And who do you think won the second? My little boy, Willie. Wasn't he lucky?” Mr. Murphy didn’t say anything. “And, Mr. Murphy, who do you think won the third prize? You’d never guess.” She was right. He couldn’t. “I did myself, Mr. Murphy. Wasn’t I lucky?” “You were all lucky. I’m thinking, Mrs. Halligan. Ry the way,” he re marked after a moment, “did T ever pay you for the chances T took?” “Why, no, Mr. Murphy: that re minds me, you didn’t.” “Wasn’t I lucky?”—Exchange. The Whole Family Twins. Tn a little Maryland village is a pair of twins. The community is small enoutrh for one pair of twins to mo nopolize the entire public attention for quite a while. The slightest event in these twins’ otherwise common place lives was proclaimed from house tops. One little neighbor child was ad mitted to the sacrosanct one day, and afterward proudyl boasted to its own mother: “I seen th' twinnies get them’s din ner.” “You did? Where did tliej^ get it?” “Out of a dwess.” “Who gave it to them?” "Mrs. Twin.”—Baltimore Evenimr Sun. Realism in Art. A local painter spent three months on a painting. He spent a good deal of money on models, but the finished product justified all his expenditures and all his time. Evervhod- told him so, when his picture was ex hibited. Everybody but one. The lady whose opinion he valued most was the one he took to the exhibition with him. “I can hardly wait,” she bubbled. “\\ hich is your picture?” “This one,’ he told her—and waited. She studied it critically. “What is it called?” she wanted to know. “ ‘Wood Nymphs.’ ” “How silly of me to ask! They’re so natural. Why, anybodv would think they were really made of wood!”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. coivie Hf^p see qs Millinery' Goods Ladies own Material used FEATHERS CURLED (VIISS S.LAHMS Main Street, Fort Lee Tutt’sPills FOR TORPID LIVER. A torpid liver deranges the whole system, and produces SICK HEADACHE,_—^ Dyspepsia, Costiveness, Rheu matism, Sallow Skin and Piles. There is no better remedy for these common diseases than DR. TUTT’S LIVER PILLS, as a trial will prove. Take No Substitute. BUY AT PALISADE PHARMACY FRED WINTER’S Cor. Palisade Ave. and Cliff Street CL1FFSIDE. N. J. Telephone 279-W Cliffside All orders promptly attended to. Mer chandise delivered in Cliffside. Grant wood, Palisade. Fort Lee. Coytesville, Edgewater, Fairview, Guttenberg. Shady Side and Hudson Heights. fi. HVCCI L adies®.GentsTailor PRESSING CLEANING REPAIRING Best Work Prompt Service Post Office Building Palisade, N. J. SEND FOR ME Telephone 407 Cliffside Palisade Express M. WEISS, Proprietor Palisade Ave., Near Cliff Street CLIFFSIDE PARK, N. J. NEW YORK OFFICES: 46 DEY. STREET Tel. 3098 Cortlandt 190 WASHINGTON STREET Tel. 1713 Cortlandt 1 MERCER STREET Tel. 3282 Spring Places where we deliver: Union Hill West New York Guttenberg Woodcliff Hudson Heights Grand View Upper Fairview Cliffside Grantwood Palisade Fort Lee Coytesville Edgevvater Shadyside wruers received at H. F. Goodmann’s Drug Store, Grantwood (Tel. 171 Cliffside) Wm. C. Frink’s Drug Store Palisade (Tel. 255 Cliffside) ORDERS FOR GARDENING Frnest sibib Hrc ruteCt ADDRESS Bluff Road and Edgewood Lane PALISADE, N. J. f. 3. Quigley, m.D. Cumbermede Road Palisade, N. J. OFFICE HOURS 11.30 A.M. to 1 P.M. 5.30 P.M. to 7 r.M. Telephone 179 Clitfside CHAS. J. Lira Plumbing, Heating and Tinning Furnace and Range Repairs Trolley Road and Lawton Ave. GRANT WOOD. N. J. Telephone 221 Cliffside Louis Hoebel FUORIST — AND — GROWER Get every thing you want in cut flowers and potted plants from us. Floral designs made to order. Decorations done to order. Style and quality the be£t. LOUIS HOEBEL Fort Lee, N. J. Jones Road Telephone 43 J. Fort Lee CELLA PARK HOTEL Restaurant and Pavilion FORT LEE, N. J. Whitman Street and Palisades Railway Crc sing C. CELLA & SON DINNERS SERVED 1 TO 8 F M A LA CARE TELEPHONE 5