THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN, WEDNESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 19, 1921
-By Pop M amend
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES There's Always a Reason
1 ALWiSycs DCEo THaT 5R., A
V'-3EE 1 HfYEMT V-PiVZ OP I
MY MNDHETHeR. ILL STAY 1
'And ! ou r
The gu'l ..i"l
-CLAr(cr Tgj f SHE IS 1 II NOW LOOK fYT TH'A - I I U"aEa" "E
cla(ice . i-tvunk. PEcoLiAD pod Stnp! OPHELIA BUT VTOULD
"THAT Ku GftL W I rtv.vLln2. I HOR Otr- vMlwn Tph m" mf iuv
ours is off I rVDEfta: J vhatg the idea, ( O Xl wfo 4!tv?o
HER. NOT! She's V 7 OF WEftWW HER cfcB Q EftR ft W
vtcv recunftRM I j lid n th' house fas jgfe fe4 i inih houqE
honestly, now that the .v.cct moment I
if surrender w w I'Vi'i'. !
"Yes, dear. I do." she arwvred.
'"Tell me of yVw love, then. I havej
told you of tuha" j
- ;un sli'il (' nK'J mo. becau o j
r u.tvf ofu-n tini'ifi't or !t, ini ;t
ft ighfcned inc. My love rr oil is like I
a mighty torrent of water that tumbles ;
everything before it, that ruMies on i
and on. ever powerful iM'd strott-;. It j
i like a fire that threa'ters to con-
same, that li'in fiercely for ever and ;
ever, in spite of everything. Tt could
ncViT be dampened or oniplered. It
! like .1 smoldering volcano, tlin L sim
mers bctieuth tin" surface givinc but
faint Indications of iho force beneath.
That Is luw 1 love you."
The In vol who had sought frr this
was Ida inly fcurprlsed by her words,
lie made a few commoupla e. remarks
and left her. Something told her thai
she would never see him again.
HJs business as that oC casualty
insurance, and hi theories of balance
and rink simply rould not stand up
under tho onslaysrftt of so much fire,
water, and otler destructive forces.
DOINGS OF THE DUFFS Maybe 'Twas a Cream Pie
Onurthindt p.i'krr. at a dinner in
War Uarlior, deplored the tendency to-
SAN .Tom. Som? oofc HAS ' l
St7i.ew A Pottle, of ceeam
0F OUK PORCW! - VJOMDEtZ.
IVe A Cogo
KlCHT Ove AMD
ward linlmnle!-ly tlutt si ill persists In
women' f.t.hnm. "Ilowevi r," he raid,
anil as he fpwke l.e raise,! on litsli his
."parklinvc Kh'f f jrmjser ale. ' hriw
ever, wo can nKvayx iiope for th bNt.
and so. ladies and ueiitlniieu, I offer
the toast: "Here's to the low rie( k slid
nhort skirts may Hhey nnrr intet.' "
This nmav but I Baked acoofie
PIE5 AMD 1 WWbMT TW . 1 "
1 rlQJ 3Tcc u
- z i
A mice FesH Ptc! vjwat po
To THlkJK WE ACCUSCP A fiOOO
WttfMW L)k TUAT OF
i -i fc i " i - l . . id ii
a r v Ihlbii a in i w " i "T-- a or t -vrra - v- . sr .: v.
"" ' " - ,L" j
FoRfiOTToTrU-Nau! I TtOk.
Vour Bottle oi cream off vwur-
PORCH I WAS MAWJJG. A pyWJG
i tHs f-f.H onus ' -rT -
: Cone T&Tfceswrejg
TO wt W
FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS They Mean The Grand Canyon
"Of course,' .a;tt the lady to the
dnisrsiKt, "it may be petfectly harm-
ess. Just as you iay, but then, you
know, thT h;i been to much x
poMuro of patent medicine and such
liko Roods that I "
"My der madam," interrupted the
druKKi-Ht, "1 bvg to HMnuro you In the
HtrutiKOHt terms that you need not ap
prehend any '
"I know; but I real In on news
paper 'where lots of people had ac
quired the drink and drug habits
through u.sinij such remedies, nnd '
"ImpoH8ibI Jii this ease. "Why, you
can see for yourself that "
"Will you Rive ma your word of
honor that it contains no alcohol?"
"I would swear It on oath," answered,
"Then I'll take it." And the dru?-'
Kist wrapped up the porous plaster for
ViCtt V! -Pop SXD VA UATa
i ; i
."Why Go you not deitl with me now?'
asked a butcher cf a woman who had
By H. I. PHILLIPS
Serving the Plan inaugural '
Let's miter otfice quiet-like,
Avoiding; actions riot-like,
At pomp and ceremony let tia balk;
We "an blow in money later.
But just now we'd better cater
To the tightwads for you know how
Sons: of Marion's Men.
formerly visited l.i hop regularly.
"Well, the last piece of meat I had
from. you wa no tout: a thut I could
have roled my fho with it."
"Then why did you not do It?" asked
the nettled butcher.
"Because I -could Ket no tacks that
would ko through it."
iSo other day Jcnen heard a conun
drum und decided to try it on hia wife.
The. Inaugural of President Warren
Gamaliel Harding- will be served plain,
without caper sauce, and with no ac
cessories more expensive than paper
napkins. The president has asked for
a simple ceremony, and he j3 to get it.
Whether it will be awfully simple or
simply awful remains to be seen.
We xotta be thrifty. Unless we're
very thrifty between now and the next
war there won't be enough . money in
the Vnitedv States treasury for the
shipping, slipping, skipping, and strip
ping boards and dollar-a-year men to
bother wasting. In which case they'd
have to be thrifty. Which would b?
"JK you know why I am like a
mule'.'" he asked her when he. pt
"So." nh replied promptly. 'I know
you nre, but I don't know why oj
The governor of the feprrai reserve
board reports that the farmers of the
I'nitcd State have almost two billions
in bank credits. Tlie estimated figures
by districts follow: l'.oston, $4.07!,OO0;
Philadelphia. $1,5M).0t)n : Cleveland,
7.V:.000: Kiihrrw-md, $:-:i;ri.(lO'i,MjO : At
lanta. $:n0.0aa,oon; Chicago. $U'S.40S.
ut'O: St. Louis. !!;. jt;i;.".inin,oitii; Min-
luapolL". $ J i: .Oil Ote ; Kansas City.
$:::. 4;tJH00: Itallas. SU.'.'ll.O'iO; San
Kraneiseo, $ O.dOO.i in).
rresident IlardiiiR may be inaugu
rated on he east porch. This is where
he was vaccinated.
Porches have played a rreat part
In hia life. If the inauguration doesn't
take on the east porch it -will be tried
on the west porch. There are enough
porches in reserve at the Capitol to
assure success ultimately.
Kconomy "will be the watchword.
And the visiting pickpockets will get
all words and no watches.
President Harding' will take the oath
of office dressed in an old Buit left him
by a grandfather, and which is still
good except for bagginess at the knees.
He will wear no collar. The inaugural
shirt will be borrowed from the out
SAY TOO VUEStE
GCwO' - ED?
: r ; I r
'I.- V I
,T lu&C THE STYLE TO
5HOVU THE Ekft-
EJhey do hKJT expose
the Eti but
A straw hat passed down from
Cleveland's time will be worn by the
president, and it is very possible he
will be sworn in while barefooted.
Senator Borah is demanding that
Mr. Ilardinr allow a week's growth of
beard to gather on his face .so that the
atmosphere of thrift may bo furthered.
The matter is now und or debate. Con
gressman Gillette leading the opposi
tion. A filibuster is likely.
wear anything at all, in view of his
well known stand for the utmost econ
omy in attire, is now under debate. A
feeling prevails in official circles that
Mr. Coolidge will take the oath while
garbed in a simple yard or two of sim
ple gauze, after the style of an Isidora
Duncan dancer. A Democratic plot to
throw cut glass and tenpenny nails on
the lawn has been nipped in the bud.
Whether the vice president ought o
hereby offer a reward of
one-third of the value of
the property stolen from
us, consisting of Liberty
Bonds, Dentists Gold
Leaf, Shriners' Jewel
and cash, for the return
of the property or any
part thereof and for any
information leading to
the arrest and convic
tion of the tuef or
E. J. BENNITT & CO.,
WM. G. LF.NTZ,
B. E. MARKS.
1 A "
mis and were
In Our Entire Stock
No Broken Lots or Groups
In This Sale
The Greatest Value Giving Sale We Have
Ever Offered Phoenix.
EVERY GARMENT MUST GO IN
S C J r. W At H II V X .1 AMKI& f
Just how .he presidential party will
travel from the railroad station to tho
Capitol is undecided. There is some
talk of Harding and Coolidge making
the trip on horseback. Congressional
insistence that ono horse do for both
is interfering with this plan.
It now seems more than likely that
Harding and Coolidge will pedal to
the Capitol on a tandem bicycle, pro
vided congress makes an appropria
tion to provide grease for the chain
and a set of tools.
The wives of the president and vicn
president, together with the invited
guests, if any, will trolley up.
The ceremony will be very simple,
adhering to the following form:
Master of Ceremonies H'lo Warren.
Harding H'lo Joe.
Master of Ceremonies Xice, day,
Harding Yes, Indeed.
M. of C. Do you wish to be sworn
in with the old five-course system or
Harding Make it snappy and let's
get it over.
M. of C Do you take this presi
dency to have and to hold, to low.
honor,, ar.d obey, to cherish and t
protect so help you G. O. P.?
Harding I do.
M. of C.I pronounce you guiHy in
the first degree and may the voters
have mercy on your rubber soles.
A good time will be had by all wlu
Bayless Mid-Week Bargains
100 Cases of Standard Tomatoes
2 '-pound cans while they last, " i An
Per Can xuc
Per Case, OK
24 Cans ePuOeJ
This is pre-war prices and it will pay you to take
advantage of them while you can.
Golden State Butter, KKp
Per lb. OOK
CHEESE IS GOING HIGHER
We laid in a supply at the old price.
Wisconsin Cream, OA r
Per lb :
Swift Sugar Cured Hams, O O n
Arbuckle Coffee, 9Qp
Per lb 0t-
Bayless' Milk Bread is better than ever. When
you ask for bread insist on getting Bayless Bread,
the big 20 oz. loaf.
ayless Grocery Co.
Phone 3545 First and Washington Sts.
The true merit of our dental work is attested by
more than 20,000 men. women and children who
have come to these modern dental offices from all
over the state during the past three years. The satis-'
faction of these many patients has been the main
factor in the gratifying growth of our practice
through their recommendation of our dental service
could enjoy such a re
markable growth unless
there was behind it a
sincere policy of real
dental service rendered
at a moderate price. The
vast extent of our prac
tice enables us to per
form our "better den
tistry" for less money.
Diagnosis and Treatment
4 , -x"
36 East Washington St.
',i:ttki: dkn'ti.tiiv vit
. EXAMINATION FREE
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