Arizona republican. [volume], January 19, 1921, Page PAGE FOUR, Image 4

About Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930

Image provided by: Arizona State Library, Archives and Public Records; Phoenix, AZ

                
THE ARIZONA KEFOij.LlU.AN, WEDNESDAY MORN UN (i, JANUARY 19, 1921
THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN
rnOENIX. ARIZONA
Published Every Morning by tha
v.. ARIZONA rrBUSHING COMPANT
entered at the l'oetofftee at Phoenix. Arizona, as Mall
.M Matter of the Second C!n
I resident and Publisher Dwlght B. Heard
Oeneral Manager Charles A. StaufTer
Kuntness Manager " W. W. Knorpp
Editor ,T. W. Spear
News Edl tor....,! T T ."."."."."."."."-""."-. A. Toung
SUUSCRIPTTON RATES IN ADVANCE
Iaily and Sunday
OUTSIDF. STATE OF ARIZONA On rear 113.01;
6 moa.. J6.75; U nuii., JJ.jO; 1 me.. J1.2&
IN ARIZONA BY MAIL OR CARRIER On- year. JS.00;
mo.. $4.00: 3 moa.. $2.00: 1 mo.. 75c.
SUXDAV EDITION by mall only $3.00 per year
PkMM. lOOl Private Branch Exchange
niOne HoOl Connecting All Departmanta
-eneral AdvertMn- representatives: Robert E. "Jr:
Prunswlek JIM.. New York. Mailer Bldg.. Chicago.
W R. B;.rrr,ser. Kxmlner Uldg., Han Franrlac.
Pot Intelligencer Hide . Seattle. Tltla Inaurance
UlUg.. Los Angeles.
MKMPERS OF TflH ASSOCIATED PR.F.SS
Receiving Full Night Report, by Leased wire
The Aswoelatd Press H exclusively entitled to u"
for re-pnbli( ation of all news dispatches credited t
it or not otherwise credited in this paper, and also
the local news published herein.
An rights of re-publication of apeclal dispatches herela
are. also reserved.
WEDNESDAY MORNING. JANUARY 19. 1921
He that ivrcstlcs with us strength
ens our nerves and sharpens our skill.
Our antagonist is oar helper.
Burke.
Limitation for Armament
The house of the legislature yesterday adopted
memorial to the president and the congress ursine
an understanding with the principal nations of the
world for a reduction of armaments. This action la
in consonance with & growing sentiment throughout
the nation in favor of making this outward sign of
friendliness and of removing the suspicion which the
nations naturally entertain of ono another when they
are making feverish preparations for war.
Until after tho great war thoso who did not be
lieve that wars were at an end deplored the blindness
of thoso who opposed preparedness by this coun
try. Eut now we have -come upon different times.
There is none of the great nations which desires to
engage in war and the United States Is the only ono
which could afford a war. The same sentiment
that moved tho house to the adoption cf the memorial
is already finding expression in the national legis
lature. On Monday congress voted to iimit the land
forces of the United States to 170,000. Whether that
was a wise tiling to do there will be a difference of
opinion. But at present it seems a safe thing. The
world war left the country in such a shape that in
an unexpected emergency we could quickly assemble
iv larger army If needed.
, mere seems to bo a determined effort to bring
.tbout an international agreement for the reduction
if armaments. Whether tho land forces of such
countries as France and Toland can bo reduced so
'long as Germany continues to resist the terms of the
Versailles treaty and Bolshevik Russia threatens its
neighbors, is very uncertain but the three great naval
bowers can at least discuss the problem of reducing
i heir building programs and if their leaders show
high statesmanship great good ought to result.
Tho Issue, however, is not a simple one. The
United States today is better situated than either of
Its maritime rivals to build a superior fleet. On this
"point Great Britain end Japan will be seeking favors
nf us and not we of them. Great Britain Is desper
utcly anxious to reduce expenditures in order to pay
off her war debt and have something left for domes
tic improvements. Japan is still a poor country and
in cippnsi; oi 9jv,iuu,vuu Dauiesmps is somcming
grievous. It is true that we are harassed by exces
sive taxation and kindred ills but they are slight
omparcd with the troubles of our contemporaries. It
we must build a great navy we can do so. '
Offsetting this is a whole complex of non-military
problems outstanding between America and Great
Eritaln and America and Japan and these problems
must be settled honeatly before we can face our fu
ture with either country with perfect comfort.
"With Japan these problems range from the Cali
fornia labor question down to the title of the island
of Yapimd then to a very direct national interest that
Japan shall not divert the money saved from a possi
ble naval program to push schemes for land aggres
sion against China, or designs In Siberia, creating
a Ear Eastern question likely to threaten the peaco
of tho entire world.
With Great Britain, if a war is absolutely Im
possible, a lack of cordiality which will destroy hope
of international co-operation by tho great English
ypeakln.tr peoplo Is by no means o impossible.
Americans feel today that they aro not being
treated quite squarely in the matter of tho Mesopo
tamian oil lands of which Great Britain would not
have had the disposal if we ad not assisted In tho
winning of tho war. Mr.-Harding seems disposed to
re-open the question of 1'anama canal tolls which It
seems pretty clear, in 1913 became involved with tho
possibility that Great Britain might give cconomio
aid to Japan in case wo rejected tho British con
struction of the car.al treaty. We also bellevo that
tho British have been discriminating against our
merchant marine and altogether there are many
things that will nerd adjustment in our relations with
both of our maritime rivals.
i But there is nothing in all this incapable of
' friendly adjustment when we approach it in the right
.way with our hands open in front of us and rot ap
parently reaching for a concealed weapon.
There are two things which will help the world
i keep out of war. One is to reduce armaments. The
j other is to adjust the specific quarrels which give rise
to even the thought that such armaments may provo
; needful. Our relations with France are most friendly
as a great French statesman only last Monday pointed
( lit. for whatever the size of the French army, at no
point do the two great republics have a serious clash
of interests.
Exaggerated Nonsense
Tilings are not in this world at the present time
Just as they would be if we had the ordering of them
but there is no reason in making them worse by exag
geration. We have the story of a farmer who toolc
a 09-pound cowhide to town to sell, with the pro
ceeds of which he intended to buy bis daughter a
pair of shoes. He sold the hide for $1.77 and found
th:u tin: beht lie could do in outfitting his daughter
with a pair of shoes was $15. It would have taken
i lie hides of nearly a carload of cows to apparel the
girl us to her feet, according to the style to which
she desired to become accustomed.
There are several things about the story that
condemn it on the face of it. in tho first place there
i ; i.o town in the country where a p.ilr of shoes for
:i g.ii cannot be bought for p-ss than half of $15.
in tb next p'.aeo a pirl who would itioist on a pair
f $13 ho's would insist more strenuo'Jly on pick-
ing them out herself. in this case she would have
gone along and have seen that they fit her.
Moreover her father would have insisted that
she go along; he would not want to bear the sole
responsibility for such an act of folly. He would,
have demanded a particeps criminis.
Your Vocabulary?
There have been different estimates placed on
the number of words in the English language. Eut
000,000 is generally accepted as a fair estimate.
Of these 300,000 not more than 10 per cent are in
everyday practical use. Milton, who wrote "Para
dise Lost" had a vocabulary of not more than 7500
words. Shakespeare, who wrote and wrote and
wrote, had command of 15,600 words.
Eut they were exceptional men. The highly cul
tured man or woman of this day rarely have a vocab
ulary exceeding 5000 words. And very seldom, it is
said, will be found a person In the ordinary walks of
life who is able to use more than two or three thous
ands of tho 300,000 words In the language. On the
other hand there are people who are of such a type
that they are limited conversationally to the use of no
more than 300 words.
Where do you rank? Arc you up there with
Shakespeare? Do you fall in the 5000 class? Or are
you Just one of the "ordinary folks" with a talking
asset of between 2000 and 2000 words?
IN ONE EASY LESSON The Things That Count
By Herbert Johnson
Why not call them Income tax blankety blanks?
At soon as a man buys an automobile h thinks
a pedestrian is some kind of a nut.
A new book la entitled "Bolshevism at Work."
There ain't no euch animal.
The new century is a fifth gone but most of us
had better make the best of it.
"Everything's cheaper, even life," Bays the phil
osopher as he peruses the day's list Of hold-ups.
If the three aeronauts had foreseen the quizzing
they got from newspaper correspondents they would
have stayed at Moose Factory.
The housing shortage was further increased dur
ing December by burning tens of thousands of dwell
ings. During the month unusually neavy totai os
$41,197,600 fire losses were recorded in the United
States and Canada, This brought the year's bonfire
up to the enormous total of $330,853,925. Most of theso
fires might have been prevented, insurance officials
assert. Why weren't they? Carelessness, thougnt-
lessness, heedlessness! Rather expensive vices, aren't
they?
It is up to congress to declare the public a party
in Interest to a lot of things.
Many of the New Tear's resolutions have been
disappointing in the matter of mileage.
Mrs. Teete, the Loa Angeles woman charged
with murder, is another fine illustration of the folly
of talking, sometimes, without consulting a lawyer.
WHY BE DISCOURAGED?
Fred Douglas didn't even own his own body. .
Before his birth he had been pledged to pay his
master's debts. But in the dead of night he stole
i.way from the plantation where he was a Blave,
walked fifteen miles to be with his mothe, loss than
an hour, and returned in time to' go Into the fields at
dawn. With her help he mastered the alphabet
from a patent medicine almanac and then learned to
read.
Amid great hardships he managed to save up
$1000 and with this purchased his freedom.
At 28 he was made marshal of. the District of
Columbia, the first colored man in the United States
to hold such a position.
Henry E. Dixie, the actor, started life as an
obscure man and was paid $5 a month "and keep."
His first "job" on the stage consisted of Impersonat
ing the hind legs of a cow.
P. T. Barnum, who later owned the largest and
most prosperous circus on earth, began his career in
that same circus as a water-tender at ten cents a
day. And out of the ten cents ho bought his meager
food.
When he was asked why he worked bo hard to
repair a magistrate's bench, and why he took so
much delight In doing the work well, a young car
penter replied:
"First, because what Is worth doing at all is
worth doing well, and secondly because I wish to
make It easy against the time when I come to sit
upon It myself.'
Five years later the same carpenter was hailed
as Lord Robert Eleton, under magistrate of London,
and became famous through a decision he rendered
in the Coster uprising of East End.
Darwin suffered continued ill health. "For forty
years," says his son, "father never knew ono day of
real health. Yet during that time he compiled a
literary work that has made his name famous
throughout tho world "Origin of Species."
COLORS AFFECT HEALTH
It Is no longer a theory, but a proven fact, that
certain colors produce certain desirable or extremely
disastrous effects, even upon tho ordinarily sensitive
mind. Psychologists, eminent physicians, and skilled
decorators are making a keen study of this subject,
and each year discloses some new and valuable truth.
For a long time we have known that blue and
violet were employed successfully in treating nervous
cases; and so soothing indeed is blue that, when used
in a wholo room scheme walls, curtains rugs it
acts as a partial anesthesia upon extremely sensitive
natures, sufficient for dental purposes or the carrying
out of minor operations.)
Red develops the action of the muscles as much
as 50 per cent and is often employed in the medicinal
world where stimulating results are desired, as in tho
treatment of smallpox, melancholia and certain forms
of anemia. Red. therefore, is not a good color to
choose when decorating the room of a "teenage" child,
for, aside from its hot and heavy suggestion in sum
mer, it overstlmulates the already restless nature of
the growing boy or girl. Good Housekeeping.
THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED
Nearly a thousand years ago a Japanese princess
whose name is lost wrote her thughts in what now
is known as "The Sarashina Diary."
"I dwelt in the romances from morning to night,
and as long as I was awake," she wrote. "The only
tiling I could think of was the shining prince who
would some day come to me, as noble and beautiful
as in the romances."
Eternal maiden dream!
Ideas and manners change greatly. But the es
sentials of human nature change little. The dreams
girls dream are much the same today in America
as theey were long ago in the courts of old Japan.
Doubtless it was the same in 100 A. D. and doubt
less it will be much the same in 2000 A. D.
Consider the idealized men they dream of as
true lovers, and look at what they get
More than one thousand children were added to
public schools in Washington, when congress returned
for session recently. The increase was made by
children of congressional representatives, their secre
taries and other employes..
v
H 4- - 'J
1 .' , ,
I 5
H'M-0Y$OIV I'll.
TU$r TAKE V$S OUT
a nicx box or dmvi
ttAVEVr Pone vt
.7)
IT' TOST t.EMEfABfcK4H5
TMT 1AXS lt f,
nm f '
II.
UAP I THOUGHT of
IT MaH OUGHTN'T
(JET ARE.Lt$$ ANP
AKTTfR O'FACT WITH
HIS WIFE
:? OH
W HIT
J I I If r-N
mi ne;
. n en.,., .j Ami i v y
'i " II it ' . jr .jr
1 viUnk
1 av
IT'S THE thoughtful.
MTTLE ATTENTIONS
YtfAT WAKE AWOM4H
HAPPY ,
WEUl
flERE You AREU
AMp WElf? WE
at that pwe
an Theater
PARTY IN HM-F
AN Hour1.
Y01V FROWSI
To JtHOMt
V
owl r iit iawr
A V,
1
The Osages and Rockefeller
Editor Arizona Republican,
Phoenix. Arizona.
Dear Sir: In your editorial sheet it
appears on your Friday morning paper
this: "Oaaije Indians have been award
ed $33,000,000 by the government, mak
ing it hard to believe that the only
good Indians are the dead ones."
Question: There are still some live
Indiana Great many of them in the
north and southwest who lo not own
oil wells. It says the government
awarded the Osages the money, yet
the Osages own the oil wclla o.nd it is
thftr money.
Question: rtockefellef find other oil
magnites are getting iktIkvps tbi--:
much every week. Why does not tho
government award them? In 190
Rockefeller paid in taxes $62,000,000.
Question: How much doca tho Stan
dard Oil company receive every day?
If the government awards tho Osages
so much money, how much does the
government award the Standard Oil
company, according to the oil sta
tistics? t
Tours very truly, I am. 3.dA.M.
REV. RED FJDX 6KINHUSHC,
(A Live Indian),
A True Native American.
o
Shoe Workers Strike
To Protest Wage Cut
Republican A. P. Leased Wire
MANCHESTER. N. IL. Jan. 1$.-
The strike declared by the local branch
of the United Shoe Workers Saturday
against the W. II. McElwain Shot
company's announcement of a revision
of its wage scale, went into effect to
day.
1 o 1
Skyscrapers now beinir erected in
Chile ar said to be earthquake proof.
TWO ROBERT E. LEES
Blood will tell, they say especially military blood.
Today's example the two Robert E. Lees.
General Lee, chief of the armies of the Confederate States of America, was
born 114 years ago todaj-, January 19, 1807, at Stratford, Westmoreland county,
Virginia. He died 50 years ago.
At IS General Lee entered West
Point, graduating four years later, in
1829. Ho married Mary Parke Custis,
kin of Martha Washington, in 1831.
During his military career he was
in the engineer corps; assistant to the
chief engineer of the army in Wash
ington; superintendent at West Point;
served against the Indians in Texas;
was offered command of the Army of
the United States, which he refused;
commanded the Virginia troops dur
ing the early. part of the Civil war;
was military adviser to President
Davis of tho Confederate states; direc
tor of the military operations of the
Confederacy, and finally commander-in-chief
of all tho armies of the Con
federacy. In 1865 he surrendered to General
Grant and later the same year became
president of Washington College at
Lexington, Virginia, now Washington
and Lee University. In 1870 his health began to fail and he died within a
few months. He is regarded as the greatest of the southern commanders
obert E. Lee, his grandson, fought with the Thirty-third division of the
United States army during the World war. He became a lieutenant and was
cited for the Croix de Guere after being wounded in France when his company
captured a machine gun.
He returned to the United States and was made Instructor at Camp Grant.
rromotion to captaincy followed. In July, 1919, he married in Washington.
Si
JL
...
mf
JL
tion. The bureau can not give advice
on legal, medical and financial mat
ters. It does not attempt to settle do
mestic troubles nor to undertake ex
haustive research upon any subject.
Write your question plainly and
briefly. Give full nam and address
and enclose two cents in stamps for
return postage. All replies are sent
direct to the inquirer.)
POSTPONE TIL OF
DEPUTY'S ASS
Q
QUESTIONS AND
ANSWERS
O
a
exempt
Q. How many states did the Demo
crata carry in the last presidential
election? T. M. D.
A. In the recent election the Demo
crats carried 10 states Alabama, Ar
kansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky,
Mississippi, North Carolina. South
Carolina, Texas and Virginia.
Q. What is the "cypress doctrine"?
W. S. T.
A. "The doctrine of Cypres" in the
English and American law is a rule of
interpretation whereby a testamentary'
gift which can not take effect in the
precise manner intended by the tes
tator is gi-en in effect as nearly as
possible like that which was intended.
The doctrine has been applied in two
classes of cases: in the creation of
fee-tail estates and in charitable gifts.
. How much is a widow
from tha income tax M. H.
A The exemption of a widow - Is
1000 .the same as for any other sin
gle person, unless she is maintaining
a home for dependent children or rela
tives. She is then entitled to $2000
exemption as the head of a family
with an additional $200 exemption for
each dependent minor child.
Q. What and where is the Bargello.
O. E. R.
A. The Bargello is in Florence and
is a national gallery of art.
Q. Does climate have anything to do
with the quantity and quality of pe
troleum that a well will produce?
J. N. M.
A. The bureau of mines says that
so far as. they knovv the climate does
rot have any effect upon the quan
tity or quality of petroleum produced.
Q. What are the duties fn wheat,
corn, wool and cotton provided in the
ne wtariff bill? F. R. K.
A. As passed by the house the sched
ules are: Wheat, 30 cents a bushel;
corn, 15 cents a bushel; unwashed
wool, 13 cents a pound; washed wool.
" ceinta a pound; scoured wool, 43
cents a pound; swith a compensatory
duty of 43 cents a pound in addition
to existing duties upon the manufac
ture of wool; long staple cotton, 7
cents a pound, with a compensatory
duty of 7 cents a pound in addition to
existing rates upon tho manufactures
thereof. These schedules may , be
changed, of course, in the senate.
Q. What fa a bush league? J. J. K.
A. 1 ins in baseball . parlance Indi
cafes a minor league of professional
or semi-professional baseball teams.
Q. How many Jews are thers In the
world? R. T. S.
A. It is estimated that the Jewish
population is more than 15,000.000.
Q. Whan were the Sons of tha Am
erican Revolution organized? B. B.
A. The National Society of the Sons
of the American Revolution was or
ganized April 30. 1889. and incorporat
ed bv act of consrress June a,
Q. Which stata has tha greatest
mileage in surfaced roads? In all
other roads surfaced and unsurfaced?
S. O. A.
A. Ohio leads in mileage of surfaced
roads, having 31,800 miles. Indiana
comes second with 31,000 miles. Texas
has the greatest mileage of all roads
combined, tho total being US.Sbu
miles. Kansas ranks eecond with
111.032 miles.
Q. Which state ranks second in crop
value? A. C.
A. According to value of crops pro
duced. Texas ranked first In 1919, the
valuation being $1,075,163,000. Iowa
"came second with a total value of
$8G1,33S,000.
MM
FLORENCE. Jan. 17. The trial of
Pablo Chavez on the charze of at
tempting to murder Denutv Sheriff
est Cates of Casa Grande, has been
laid over until the last of this week.
due to the inability of Cates to appear
against him. Chavez is one of the
three men wanted in Yuma for rob
bery. The three were placed under
arrest a week ago last Friday by Dep
uty cates ana County Ranger J. T.
Miles, but by a ruse the sheriff was
led away from the rest of the party
by Chavez and shot twice, one a glanc
ing shot in the left side and one in the
left leg just below the knee. It is
claimed that Chavez confessed to the
attempt to murder while still in Casa
Grande but since being brought to the
county Jail here he has made no state
ment. The trial would have been held
this week upon the return of Judge O.
J. Raughn from Phoenix but the con
dition of Cates, thoujth ' Improved,
would not permit him to make the trip
to appear against his assailant. The
date of the trial has not been defi
nitely set but there is a public de
mand for hasty action.
Florence Takes Game From Chandler
In a game too close to be comfor
table, the Florence high school basket
ball team finished up -the season of
home games with a victory over
Chandler by defeating the visitors 29
28. Tho game was the last one to be
played on the home court and it was
fast and furious enough to furnish a
good climax. In a previous game at
Chandler, the Florence team had been
decisively "licked' and the visitors ex
pected to repeat, fut from the start
they were disappointed and never
once were allowed a lead, though they
kent thinra close enoutrh to he ex
citing. Florence stands third now in management.
the class B sections of the Valley
league, with two more games to play
one at Glendalo- and the other at
Tempe.
New Music Head For Schools
The arrival Thursday of Miss Ver
naz to take charge of the music de
partment in the city schools has again
put the teaching force on a 100 oi
cent basis and the school authorities
are well pleased with the new acqui
sition. Miss Vernaz comes here from
Warrensburg, Missouri. She is a grad
uate of Warrensburg normal, and has
studied in several colleges of music.
She has been very successful in Mis
souri, both in private studio work and
in the public schools there. Her viva
cious manner and excellent voice hv
already won her the support of
boys and girls. ,
Carey Boles, etata superintendent of
agricultural work, spent two days in
town this week in looking over tho
work of the new agricultural instruc
tor, Mr. Jennings.
. Miss Genevieve Tillery as hostess to
a party of teachers of the younger set
at her home last Thursday evening.
The party introduced the new member
f the faculty. Miss Vernaz, and Mr.
Boles of the state agricultural inspec
tion staff. Though the party may re
member the entertainment of the eve
ning for some time, doubtless the out
standing feature will be the oxamplo
of culinary art which Miss Tillery.
who happens to be the head of the
domestic science department of thA
high school, spread before her guests,
Friday evening Mr. and Mrs. Doug
aid Stuart entertained ten couples of
town folks at a bridge party at their
home, complimenting their house guest.
Earl B. Poulson of Minneapolis.
Mr. Poulson Is here to attend th
annual meeting of the stockholders of
the Pinal Bank and Trust company, of
which his father was formerly a di
rector. He is very much impressed
with the prospects for the valley.
Martin R. Eddy, who for several
months has been cashier of the First
National Bank of Florence, left today
for Magdalena, New Mexico where he
will take a position with the First Na
tional Bank of that city. J. II. Halm
huber has been appointed to succeed
Mr. Eddy and E. E. Johnson will bo
assistant cashier.
Reverend John Steel spoke to th
Presbyterian church congregation
twice Sunday and twice to the boys at
the prison. Mr. Steel is a persuasive
speaker and his visit was of benefit
to all of his audiences. He is sent
out bv the general board of the Pres
byterian church to investigate condi
tions in the penal and reform institu
tions of tho various states and tc
bring a message of uplift and "an
other chance" to the Inmates. He has
visited most of the states in the land
and is always welcomed bv ' the boys.'
He has some very good things to say
about the Arizona prison and iu
G L A
IF I.ED
By DR. FRANK CRANE
- (Copyright, 1920. by Frank Crane)
(Any reader can get the answer to
any question by writing The Republi
can Information Bureau. Frederic J.
Haskin, Director, Washington, D. C.
This offer applies strictly to lnforma-
WATCHING THE PARADE
BY JOHN PILGRIM
The boss has his eye on Little Willie,' the chief office boy. He thinks
that Willie is a wiz. He allows that as soon as Willie grows up a little, and
buys a pair of pants that fit him, he will be boosted into a desk chair. He
says that Willie has manifested capacity to do a most uncommon thing.
'He thinks," said the boss, "with both lobes at once. I haven't seen
another office boy like him since the Second Eattle of Bull Run."
Here's what it's all about. The boss thought there was a lot of loose
motion about the office, and sent for an efficiency expert. The efficiency
expert made motions, took a lot of measurements, made the clerks very un
happy, and finally handed in a verdict.
"All the telegraph and telephone wires must be moved," said he. "They
are wrongly placed. In a year's time the men in this office lose precisely 718
days and two hours in getting to and from the wires. The office boys waste
two-thirds of their time in carrying messages from wire to desk."
The boss saw at once that he was right. So did the chief clerk. So did
the cashier, auditor, bead bookkeeper and office manager. The wires were
moved at a net cost of $189. Then Little Willie, the brigadier of the kids,
learned what had been done and why.
"Chee," said Willie. "Why didn't you move d' desks?"
Xo one lias been able to answer this apparently simple question. Dut it
looks as though Willie is like tie elevator man going up.
I think I hate hotels because I particularly hate to be classified.
I dont want to be labeled, pigeon-holed and shelved.
I want to be Me; not an It. .
I cling to my humanity, my life, my individuality as my most preciouh
possession. .
Of course, in tho opinion of my able and lively enemies, It is not mucn,
but it is mine own, and all I have.
I claim my right to be a Proper Noun, as John, Mary. Charles, and not a
Common Noun as Horse, Man, Gump.
1 When I go to a hotel, Bay, the American House at Three Oaks, Iowa, I put
my name on the hotel register, and that's the last of me. Exit my everlasting
soul and fascinating personality, for the time being.
Henceforth I am the Party in No. 1G.
Angels and ministers of grace defend us! how I loathe that word "Party."
I mean as referring to me, not to a dznee fest.
If I want a drink, the clerk says ''Front!" (You see, even the poor devil of
a bell boy is not allowed a Christian cognomen, he's but unother cog in tha
merciless wheel.) "Take ice water up to party in sixteen."
Sometimes the desk clerk Struggles to be human, to burst from the Port-
land cement of his official impersonality, but it is in vain.
He strives to give me a name, saying, "It's a nice day today, Mr. Green."
or "Number 24 was a little late, hey, Mr. Cohen?" or "Staying a few days, Mr.
Graham?" till I'm not quite certain myself what my name is, if any.
When I go into the dining room the head waiter holds up his finger, and I
follow it over to a table in the darkest corner of the room, not withstanding I
want to sit by the window and near the pretty girl. But who am I. an atom,
to resist the cosmic forces?
Then the red-headed waitress comes along and plunks the butter platelet
and glasses and cutlery down before me, precisely as she has done beforo
thousands of others since the foundation of tho world and will go on doing
until the last trump.
She says her piece, looking out of the window or over at the commercial
travelers at hhe next table.
"Soup fish hamanegs livern bacon codfishcakes hot rolls wheatcakes and
maple surrup."
I indicate. And presently my plate is surrounded by little rowboats, each
containing a dab of ill-cooked alleged food.
It was not prepared for a human being. It was manufactured for a party.
It is the same way in a store. Then I am a customer. -
At the theater 1 am one of the Audience. I am part of the House.
On the train I am a Passenger. The conductor does not look at me; h
looks at my ticket. "What's he to Hecuba, or Hecuba to him?''
In the hospital I am a Patient.
In the State I am a Citizen.
At school I am a pupil.
In the club I am a Member.
And when I die I am a Corpse.
How in the world -is a man going to find, let almi- s.i v. . ,,;' ;t) sm h
universe?