Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume], January 06, 1911, Page PAGE SEVEN, Image 7

About Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951

Image provided by: University of New Mexico

                
FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 1911.
TTTE SANTA FE NEW MEXICAN, SANTA FE, N. 1L
A WINTER NIGHT.
V'hen th fir1: roars up ihe chimney
An3 tin- winds of winter blow,
And tin1 sct-nt of lif.-'s eweft morning
Kca!Ls ihe Imiik :ii;u.
Anrt fancy's si,His are building
I
!
j
!
i
Dream ta.-ulps In the blaze,
We'll hear pott voices singing
The song's uf utlior days.
When the futmes are slowly ffiding
No more they brightly leap
And weary eyes are turning
To the poppy rea'rh of slep,
The world may erark and srroan beneath
The welclit of winter's hand,
We'll follow far where roses are,
The road to Slumberland:
!
His Choice.
"Yes," said the specialist, as he
stood at the bedside of the miser mil
lionaire, "I can cure you."
"But what will it cost?" came fee
bly from the lips of the sick man.
The specialist made a swift men
tal calculation. "Ninety-five dollars,"
was his answer.
"Can't you shade your figure a lit
tle?" wailed the other. "The under
taker's bid is much less." Lippia
cott'B. Then Silence Reigned.
The boy terror was in evidence
again. His parents had invited some
friends to dine, among them being
his sister's beau, who took the incor
rigible on his knee.
During a lull in the conversation
the young hopeful suddenly yelled
out:
"Mr. Brown, is I as heavy as sis
ter?" But no one seemed to hear him!
Not Hard to Bear.
Great Author (who Bells by subscrip
tion) So you are a book agent, eh? I
presume you meet with a good deal
of ill treatment.
Agent Yes, every day.
"I don't see how you stand it."
"Well, you see, I know It isn't be
cause folks dislike me personally. It's
because they have such a contempt
for the book3." New York Weekly.
Had Done It, Too.
Knicker Banking interests some
times buy what they don't want, to
avert a panic.
Bocker As I buy my wife a dress.
Harper's Bazar.
AN EXPLANATION.
Cholly Er really, I cawn't under
stand why some fellows get rich and
I always stay so poor.
Miss Slick Perhaps it's because so
many people amuse themselves at
your expense.
An Invitation Withdrawn.
Come, fly with me
Oh, I forgot
That hobble skirt;
You'd better not.
How It Happened.
He was limping down the street
with one arm in a sling and both eyes
In mourning.
"What's the matter?" queried a
friend. "Antomobfie accident?"
"No," replied the other, sadly. '1
met a man who couldn't take a Joke."
Mal-De-Mer.
Gunner Yes, that man trembles
when he thinks of the possibility of
regular air liners crossing the ocean.
Guyer Head of some steamship
company, eh?
Gunner No, manufacturer of sea
sick remedies. '
Incidental Expenses at College.
"Seems to me you need a good deal
of expense money, my son."
"Yes, dad; our crowd is a very ex
pensive one."
"But I don't see why you should sup.
port the whole crowd, my son."
A Tes.
Is your friend up In Maine having
success with his hunting?"
"Oh, yes. He's shot so many guide
that they are getting afraid to go witb
Sim."
So It Is.
"It 1b better to have the good will
than the 111 will of a man."
"Yes, but It is better to have the
111 will of some men than to have tc
laugh at their funny stories."
Should Be Indictable.
"A Kansas editor has something to
lay about the 'tlng-a-llng' toque."
"Worn by the village belle,
doubt."
no
Her Instrument.
"When a girl fishes for admirers,
.t kind of a line does she user
1 beau line, of course."
Accounting for It.
tortoise beat the hare a mile
nd did it lasting hurt;
must have been the poor old hare
.'ad on a hobble skirt
Kept His Word.
"What did he say when you reject
him?" "He said he would go to the dogs."
"I saw him there last night."
'Where? What are you talking
tout?"
"At the vaudeville theater, where
ose tailed dogs are. appearing."
HER MISTAKE.
"Conductor:" exclaimed an irate
woman who carried many bundles,
es : !:- paused on the platform ot the
crowdi-d car. "I thought. I told you.
that 1 wanted to get off at Pelham
avenue!"
"Hut. madam
"Don't you say a word! I know
all about your car being very full,
and not bein: able to remember
where everybody wants to get off.
I've heard all that before."
"But, madam, I "
"You may be mire that I shall re
port you, sir; and for your impudence,
too."
She alighted; the conductor rang
his bell, and as the car started he
said politely, as he touched his cap:
"I'm very sorry, madam, but Pel
ham avenue is half a mile further
on."
Hints for Letter Writers.
That written words stand as ever-
rr, . ,
That an ambiguous sentence is like-
ly to be misinterpreted.
That a letter written in a
spirit should be answered in the same
way, even though the message is dis
liked. That business letters and invitations
must be answered at once.
That a lady acknowledges any
friendly offer of hospitality, even
though it be not by acceptance.
One More Unfortunate.
"Ruggles, you ought to go into the
business of raising chickens by hand.
It's great."
"I believe I would, Ramage, if I
could buy a good incubator cheap."
(With eagerness) "I've got one, old
chap, I'll sell you for a third of what
It cost me!"
Reached His Heart.
"Did he seem to warm up to you
when you played so beautifully on the
piano last evening?"
"No, but when I told him I took a
prize in a waffle making competition I
Just couldn't keep him away from
me."
The Old Compromise.
"Jones says he's mad enough to kill
his wife."
"Will be go home and lick her?"
"No he'll stay down town and
liquor."
Rather a "Sit."
"He told her that when she married
he would give her a set of furniture."
"Well?"
"He gave her a chair."
DIFFERENT IDEAS.
"Say, Pete, wot would youse do It
youse had Carnegie's dough?"
" 'Bout de same as he's doin', I
reckon, only 'stead uv settin' up li
braries I'd set up brew'ries."
A MODERN YOUNGSTER.
Willie's lifting up his 'vote,
'Cause he's all alone,
None, except the neighbors.
Hears his mournful tone.
Father's at the ball game,
Many miles away;
Mother's studying high art
At the matinee.
Brother's playing football;
Sister has a tea;
The nurse Is entertaining;
It's "her afternoon," you see.
Poor little Willie boy
Could his fate be worse?
He only meets the ashman
When he wishes to converse!
Wouldn't you feel fretful.
With troubles of your own.
If this great world left you,
like Willie, all alone?
Cheeky Chap.
They met for the first time since
their summer vacation.
"And how Is your sister SueT
asked the Innocent maid.
"Sue Is well," responded the cheeky
young man, "and ei" by the way.
Sue sent you a kiss, so I will deliver
If
"Sir, how dare you! You have for
gotten yourself."
And then and there he claimed an
other. "So good of you to remind me. Al
though I think a great deal of Sue
I must never forjet myself."
A Slight Interruption.
Bllkins (soliloquizing) It is a
pleasing thought that, although one
may have no worldly possessions
worth mentioning, in reality the splen
did parks are ours mine, In fact
Here am I, an Englishman, wandering
over my own magnificent estate and
nobody can say anything
Park Keeper (suddenly) Come off
that grass, d' yer 'ear, or I'll turn you
aht! Sketch.
Getting Back at Papa.
Rev. Dr. Fourthly, mildly reproving
his youngest daughter;
"Florence, do you think it is ap
propriate to wear that gaudy hat to
church? It looks as if you went there
merely to be seen."
Miss Florence . Fourthly, aged
twelve, demurely responding:
"Well, papa, all you go to church
for Is to be heard, Isn't it?"
1:
Somehow when autumn
Skies bend down.
And all the fit-Ids
Are bar,.- and brown.
And all the wind
Are clean and cool,
And all the boys
Are off to school.
And nights are good
To s! i-p In. and
The wild bints sinjf
To brat the band
Somehow, Honieway,
We sort of wish
That we could fro
Somewhere and fish;
Get out somewhere
Br-neath the- trees
And sprawl out
I.azy as you please;
We've sot this old
Sprine fever thing
As badly as
If It was spring.
Nothing Lacking.
"The position of the Gumhoyles as
leaders In society seems to be as- i
eured." :
"Indeed, yes. He rides in a 1911
automobile, has been operated on for
appendicitis, his wife ha;
the hay
fever every summer, and their eldest
PURE LAZINESS.
vi ai 'daughter has trouble with the customs
Mnnyi .. h k.,i.
! Inspectors every time the comes back
from Europe."
The New Style.
"The chicken drama appears to bo
starting with this 'ChaiitocVr.' "
"Yes, its success is egging other au
thors on."
"Do yer think yer'll ever get to
Paradise, pard?"
"Well, it's sort of doubtful. Yer
see, when I knocked at St. Peter's
gate I'd have a hard time to keep
from forgettin' meself an' asking fer
a hand-out.
Fish'Llnes.
The herring Is a funny fish.
Of that bo well assured;
In every case It must be killed
Before It can be cured.
Princeton Tlser.
Juvenile Logic.
Little Margie Do you belong to a
brass band, Mrs. Braggs?
The Caller No, dear. What put
that Idea Into your head?
Little Margie Well, mamma said
you were always blowing your own
horn, so I thought you must belong to
a brass band.
Such Is Fame.
A tall, well-dressed man was the
center of a group of frenzied financiers.
"What did that man do to make
himself so famous." asked an Innocent
bystander.
"To the best of my knowledge and
belief," answered the cynical peraon,
"he did the public."
Uninteresting.
Myer Why don't you patronize that
deaf and dumb barber?
Gyer Huh ! A fellow might as well
jhave himself.
I
NO REASON TO WORRY.
Miss Sympathy I should think,
doctor, that you would feel terrible
to have a person die under your
knife.
The Doctors Oh! ,no. I get the
practice just the same.
Anyhow He Gets It.
The swimming hole is the goal today
Of the little boy, as of old it was;
Bom times the sun tans his hide for him.
And some other times irs nis aaaay
does.
Preached Patience.
Pillows "I never realized till three
years ago why Dobson was always
preaching patience."
Boulsters "What made you realize
It then?"
Pillows "I lent him $10."
Skeptical.
"Hero's an Interesting story t th
newspaper."
"What la It about?"
"An Indiana fanner carved his ini
tials on the back of a terrapin and
after 1J years the terrapin returned."
"Remarkable I And did the terrapin
hold out a flipper to shake hands?"
A Staple.
Teacher Can you name some prom
lnent edible article of the South Sea
Islands?
Bright PupU Tts, sir. Missionaries.
FORCE OF HABIT. v" V- 4
&i Vi t$5?
A LINGERER
J, itia
The Eldest Daughter - If Harry had
lived in the old days hi 1 have made a
good knight.
Her father I don't know much
about that but It ta'r- s him a long
time to say 'good nigh1.' now.
His Father (after punishing him)
It hurt me more to whip you than
It did you.
Tommy Then all I've got to say
Is that you can stand an awful lot
of punishment without hollafing.
WHAT WOULD STOP HER?
Sirs. A. G. Tator If the women
wouid Just rise up, assert their rights,
march to the polls and demand to
vote, I'd like to know what would stop
theiu.
Mr. A. G. Tator A mouse.
HIS WORRY
Boozem Gude Now, the annual beer
output is
Gulpem Downe It ain't the output
that's worrying me; It's the Intake.
SEEKING REVENGE
Weary Oh! if I could only git me
hands on de hobo dat put de "Timid In
valid lady" sign on dis gate post!
One Thing Needful,
"I believe In giving credit to whom
credit is due," said the fussy cus
tomer. "Same here," rejoined the grocer,
"but In my business spot cash Is al
ways preferable."
A Characteristic
Tommy Father, what Is a Bohe
mian? Father A man whoU gladly let you
share your last dollar with him, my
HIS IDEA.
m
f
A FAIR RETORT.
Pat, who had a bad coin glvea to
blm, decided to try and spend it. He
therefore went into a tobacconist and
asked for a cigar. The shopman, hand
cd over the cigar, and Tat, jmHlng the
cigar in his mouth, u-wli-rd the coin
He was making his way out when the
shopman thnm- ! :
i "Hey, uiaii, Ui you know It Is u bad
one?"
Pat turned round ami said:
' "Never mind. I'll smoke it if it kills
: me."
A Sure Sign.
"Was the audience this evening a ,
fashionable one?"
"No; it constated of very ordinary :
people."
"lint ihe people- in the boxes i
I seemed to be handsomely and stylish-
ly dressed."
"So they were, but they weren't j
fashionable for all that. They kept ;
quiet all the time the play was go- :
lng tin."
Poor Girl.
"Have you a daughter?" asked the
life insurance representative.
"Part of one," yawned the retired
merchant with a weary smile.
"Part of one?"
"Y-s; a young man 'as here who
wanted to know If he cou'd have her
ear for a few moments and another
chap just askeil for her hand."
I Disillusionment,
j "The average person z'-ts two hard
I Jolts early in life and after that he ex
! pects to be deceived mare or less to
tht end of his days."
"And the two Jobs?"
"The first, comes when he learns
that there Is no Santa Clans and the
second when he discovers that circus
posters don't always stick to facts."
The Ancient Egyptian,
For a long time the visitor to the
great museum stood gazing at the
Egyptian mummy swathed In band
ages. "Tell me one thing,'' he ventured.
"What Is it, sir?" asked the guide.
"Was It automobile or aeroplane ac
cident?" FAITH IN PINS.
Mrs. Youngwcd (three a. m.l And
to think I pinned my faith to your
high sense of honor!
Mr. Youngwed (loaded) Justsh like
hie a woman; thinglngsh that pins
hie will huldsh anything hie and
alwaysh.
Even Worse.
The hobble skirt
Was but a starter;
Kant hearil about
The hobble garter?
His Intelligence.
i Negley You seem to have a poor
opinion of Poldler's Intelligence.
Gaymer You wouid, too, If you
knew he had been looking in tne city
directory three day's for Ziegler's ad
dress and had got only as far as the
D's.
Why He Didn't
"Pa, son writes for enough money
to come home on."
"An' If it wasn't fer one thing, I'd
send it to him, b'gosh!"
"An' what's that, pa?"
"It'd be Just like him to take it an'
come home."
He Wanted It Safe.
Townley Your friend, the old sea
captain, seemed to be a little timid
about going In your auto?
Wimstrong Yes; the fact is, he ab
solutely refused to go at all until I
had the machine equipped with an
anchor and a compass.
Right In His Line.
"Here's an interesting article In this,
newspaper intitled, 'The Art of Rest
ing.' "
"Better send it to Wlllowby."
"Why?"
"His wife runs a boarding house."
A Sign of Weakness.
"The deacon UkeB to talk about his
'Blnful clay.'"
"So he does, but I notice he's very
particular about the way his 'sinful
clay Is dressed."
Momentous Occasion.
"Every person has red letter days
in his life."
"That's true. I know a man who
reckons time from the day he had a
new-laid egg for breakfast"
"Local Color."
"A moving picture theater recently
exhibited a series of street scenes In
Reno."
"Realistic?"
"Very. In one scene 14 flossy fe
malea were standing on a street cor
ner when a truck-load of booze passed
by."
Not Reasonable.
"You couldn't expect that man to
take an abstract view ot the paving
question."
"Why not?"
Becausa, he's a. concrete, agent"
SOUTHERN COURTESY
77
1
V r.:.2'.;'
The New England Major We have
a museum up In New F.t.g!a: d, sir,
that has the finest collection of snukes
in the world.
The Kentucy Colonel We southern
ers, suh, would never expose our pri
vate affairs to the gaze of a vulgaU
public, suh.
TOUGH LUCK. INDEED
Nurse Hivins! The baby swal
lowed a bottle of ink au' not a bit of
blotting paper in th' house!
GIVE HER ANOTHER
Fondpar You say baby swallowed a j
spoon? Did it hurt, her? i
Mrs. Fondpar I'm afraid so; she ,
hasn't been able to stir since! '
A DIFFERENCE
Stranger Is this the nursery?
Host No; that's the bawl room.
WEAPONS.
"A woman's most dangerous weap
ons are her eyes."
"Well, I don't know about that Did
you ever encounter a pin In a wom
an's beltr
Poor Praise.
The Poet What do you think of
my lyric entitled "In the Shoe Store?"
The Critic Well, It is certainly ap
propriate. The Poet Appropriate?
The Critic Yes, it has all kinds of
feet.
A Like Meeting.
"I saw today the clashing ot two
hard wills."
"What was It?"
"The meeting of the head of Jones'
WJlHap w.ith thft, Dplicemau's biUr.
m h
c5
r
4 S3j
m A 11,
? V A ill M kJ
Mr?
".age
Mi'.
pr,it UKNT Rooms
House for house-keeping.
a:ul Unt
lv) Garcia.
FOR SAI.H Y.i turn coupon on
ti:i:et to DoiiV.r. Call at this office.
I.' )HT-
-i'ttr.-.". ti'iicr t.i. Santa Fe
:,:;n of in hat Contained
r:d railroad tick(!s. lteturn
(luiti'Uha, l:'.7 IJurJap St.
to. K. I,
FOR RENT--SIX room furnished
house best location in town. Ii-aae
six to eighteen mourns 0. C. Watson
& Co.
TYPEWRITERS
.tried, adjusted and repaired. New
its furnished. Ribbons and aup
Typewritera sold, eichangei
rente:!. Standard makes haudled.
r -,.air work and ypewriters guar
; Santa Fe Typewriter Ex
jj.:e I'hone BlacK 2:!i.
BLANKS,
! for sale by New Meil
i ompany, Santa Fe. N.
Prime,:
: ran Prin
Proof, Te-: :rr.ony of Claimaul,
fun sh -'.
Desert Land Kntry, Declaration of
Applicant, -1-UT4. f'ih sheet
Deposition of Witness, 4-373a, 1-2
: sheet.
( Final Proof. 4-3T2a. 12 sheet.
Contest Notice, 4-ri lu, 1-2 sheet.
! Yearly Proof, 4 074b. fi i oueet.
j Affidavit to be filed before contest,
j 4-072, 1-2 sheet
: Affidavit of Contest Against Non-
Resident Entryman, - -62S, 1-2 sheet.
Notice of Intention to maice i.aal
proof, 3-348, 1-2 sheet.
Additional Entry, 4-004, 1-2 shetS.
320 Homestead Entry, 4-003, 1 i
sLeet.
Small Holding Proof, Affidavit ot Ar
pllcant, full sheet
! llelinqulshment, 1-2 sheet.
; Township Plats, 1-4 sheet,
i Township Plats, full sheet
General Biankt.
Bond for Deed. 1-2 sheet.
I Bond of indemnity, 1-2 sheet
; Rond, Genera! Form, 1-2 sheet.
Certificate of Marriage, lira per d07..
j Official Dond, 1-2 sheet.
; Notice of Sale Under Foreclosure
. of Mortgage, full sheet
j Application for License, 1-2 sheet
I Retail Liquor IJcense. 1-2 sheet
' Notice of Conveyai c 1-2 sheet
i Certificate of Election, 1-' sheet,
j Report of the Assessors, full sheet
: Deed, City ot Santa Fe, 1-2 sheet,
i Deed, City of Santa Fe, full sheet
i Application for Marriage License,
1-2 sheet
' Certificate of Birth. 1-4 sheet
! Certificate of Death, 1-4 sheet.
i Butchers' Shir-ping Notices, 14
sheet.
j Promissory Notes 25c per pad
Receipts, 25c per pad.
Cost Bond, 1-4 sheet
Letters of Guardianship, 1-2 sheet
Guardian's Bond and Oath, 1-2 sheet
Letters of Administration, 1-2 saeet.
Administrator's Bond and Oath, 1-2
sheet
Letters Testamentary, 1-2 sheet.
Declaration In Assumpsit, 1-2 sheet.
Satisfaction of Mortgage, 1-2 sheet.
Assignment of Mortgage, 1-2 sheet.
Lease, 1-2 sheet.
Lease of Personal Property, 1-1
sheet
Chattel Mortgage, 1-2 sheet.
Warrant to Appraisers, full sheet
Power of Attorney 1-2 sheet
Prices on other stamps, pads, and aU
other office supplies, on application.
Proof, Testimony of Witness. 4-369,
full sheet
Replevin Bond, 1-2 sheet.
Execution Forcible Entry and De
tainer, 1-4 sheet
Subpoena, 1-4 sheet
J. P. Complaint, '.-A sheet
Capias Complaint, 1-4 sheet.
Search Warrant, -Z sheet
School Blanks.
Enumeration Form, 1-2 sheet
Teachers' Certificate, 1-2 sheet.
Contract for School Teacher,
sheet.
Teachers' Term Register, full sheet
Contract between Directors and Tea
chers, 1-4 sheet.
Oaths of School Director, 1-4 sheet
Certificate of apportionment of
School Funds, 1-2 sheet
Contract for Fuel, 1-4 sheet.
Teachers' Monthly Report, 1-4 sheet
District Clerks' Annual Report, 1-4
sheet
Land Office Blanks.
Homestead Entry, 4-007, 1-2 sheet
Missouri Code Pleadings, $6.00. The
two for $10.00. Adapted to New Mex
ico Code. Postage 17c.
Bond to Keep the Peace, 1-2 sheet
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