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ARE THE BEST CIGARETTE SMOKERS who care to pay a little more than the cos; of ordinary trade cigarettes will find th3 PET CIGARETTES SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS Made from the highest cost Gold Leal grown in Virginia, and are ABSOLUTELY PURE SUNBEAMS. Visitor (who has been round the ruins of a castle, to guide:) Can I now Bee the nntiquities inside? Guide: Have you permission T Visitor: No. Guide: Then I am very sorry you oan't, for the old ladies are not at home. Securely Entrenched Against disease are those who are pru dential enough to renew failing energy by the aid of the grand fortifying agent, Hoatetter Stomach Bitters, which pro motes a vigorous discharge of the duties imposed upon the various organs by nature, and whioh if impeded or relaxed speedily bring about their disorder. Di gestion, assimilation, a due secretion and direction of the bile and a regular habit of body are insured by the systematic ubo of this safe, prompt and thorough medi cine. Chills and fever, bilious remittent, dumb ague and ague cake, kidney com plaint, sick headache, nervousness and other inorganic maladies are removed by it. It promotes" a relish for the food as well as the ability to digest and assimilate it. The infirmities of declining years are mitigated by it. A wineglassfnl before retiring promotes health yielding repose. It Was All Arranged. Game Dealer: I bring you, madame; the deer that Herr Mayer shot early this morning. Wife (laughing): Why my husband, has not been out. He is ill in bed. Dealer: Well last week he ordered me to leave one here to-day. Some time ago I was taken sick with a cramp in the stomajh, followed by diar rhoea. I took a couple of doses of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar rhoea Remedy and wasimmediately re lieved. I consider it thebest medicine in the market for all suoh. complaints. I have sold the remedy to others and every one who uses it speaks highly of it, J. W. Strickler, Valley Center, Cal. For sale by A. C. Ireland, jr. , She New Her Business. The reason I let my rooms so cheaply is because there is an old Indy next door who plays the piano the whole day. That will not matter at all, as my nephew, for whom I engage the room, is deaf. So; then of course l cnarge inree nnmiugH h ween more. Having used Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in my family and found it to be a first-class article, I take pleasure in re commending it to my friends. J. V. '. Foster, Westport, Cal. For Bale by A. C. Ireland, jr. In a Country Train. Passenger (shout ing to guard): Why do we stop here? There is no station. What has happened ? Guard: Nothing sir. The engine driver allowed the whistle to blow too long, so that he has no steam now! Tlie Wish Urattfled. You have often wished for something .to take the plaoe of pillav. Now try" a 25-cent package of Simmons Liver Regu lator powder. Take it dry, on the tongue, . or make it into a tea. It is pleasant to take, and gives auiok relief two good recommendations. . Of Course.-The baroness over there appears to- be rather aged to-Say; in fact, I have never seen her look so old. Ian quite understand that. She was not so old yesterday. : . ,. ,. In Barracks. Sergeant (to private): Karl, vonf revolver is very rusty thioe days' arrest perhaps then ; Cavalleris Jtnsti-cana will oe piayea. .: : en Don't Farther waste money on drugs, ments, etc They you. Yeu have precious time and vacuum treat will never cure probably tries WATS willing and waiting; to man tattering cure you. ana no from the following wittoi Keralnal Weakness, SSiSm. or Total Impotence, Krai- fcxj""0" Losaea. Forntlnlneas, InaHcreaon, NtMpleuneseTete. But natarw own renv. is inourablei eay must oe scieniincuuj -j"-rr inirirv.ii.il thatestiossIble perfection for iU application is.attafned In known Dr. Banden kiuwj ventlon has been sola ana given faction lor nearly thirty years, .ana we refer sufferers to hundreds of cures in every State. Throw drugs to the dogs, end Join o army of cures in blessing the greatest boon ever -i i mulm KoHaIba Anna! jflvcu " uivu auw vw- Rheumatism, Lame Back Iiumbagro,Dyspep8ia,Kidney and Liver Complaints, and general ill-health. A pocket edition of Or, Madca eele- Drateo. boo 'Three Classes of Men,' aa a i . - -l.J aaeukwa einnl I ( 1 ATI . Every man should read it. It la the only fall And complete guide for Belf-tretment ever onereu rn w wTwjtmwj. The Sanden Electric Co, jTo. 996 llxteentli tt., Denver, Oet Ala Hew Terk, Cbieaaw ImMi Eb Unrest SUctro-lIaiical Oenoernln the World I LOT A HtemarUaule Cure of Hhcumntism. Westminster, Cal., Maroh 21, 18U4. Some time ago, on awakening one morn ing, I fonnd that I had rheumatism in my kneo bo badly that, as I remarked to my wife, it would be impossible for me to at tend to business that day. Remember ing that I had some of Chamberlain's Pain Balm in my store I Bent for a bottle, and rubbed the afflicted parts thoroughly with it, acoording to directions, and with in an hour I was completely relieved One application had done the business It is the best liniment on the market, and I sell it under a positive guarantee. R. T. Harris. For sale by A. C. Ireland, jr. PRESCIENCE. - The new moon hung in the sky, The sun was low in the west, And my betrothed and I - In the churchyard paused to rest, Happy maid and lover, Dreaming the old dream over. The light winds wandered by, And rohins chirped from the nest. And, lo, in the meadow sweet Was the gravo of a little child, With a crumbling stone at the feet And the ivy running wild, Tangled ivy and clover Folding it over and over. Close to my sweetheart's feet Was the little mound up piled. Stricken with nameless fears She shrank and clung to me, And her eyes were filled with tean For a sorrow I did not see. Lightly the winds were blowing, Softly her tears were flowing, Tears for the unknown year And a sorrow that was to be. T. B. Aldrich. A FRESH PROFESSOR. I was an undergraduate and he was a don of Exham college, Oxford. We both tore the same name Unwin-Johes. Why Dame Fate should have gifted two such antitheses with similar names, why she should have brought us to one and the same college is inscrutable. I do not upbraid. I thank her from the bottom of my heart I forget the frayed shirts, "dickeys" and antediluvian collars of Don Jones that the laundress fathered on me. I do not regret my wines, but not the bills therefor, that went to his cellar instead of to mv humble cupboard I forgive the torn envelopes in ladies' hands marked "not for Professor Jones" everything, and why? It was a sunny afternoon in the merry month of May as I returned at 5 o clock, in flannels and a blazer, from an hour's fagging at the cricket nets, and tripped up the stairs of my "digs," that over looked the dear old college gardens, whistling "Oh, Phyllis Mine!" I burst open the door, and "Are visions about?" came the lightning thought, as I saw, seated in the armchair by my window, gazing out on the glories of the horse chestnuts opposite, one of the nol the (vide "subsequent events") most charming little girls I have ever seen) By the side of the armchair was a leo- ture note book, and what I knew only too well to be Herr Crammer's "Latin Prose. " She rose, bowed deferentially, and somewhat nervously began: "Oh, Professor Jones, I am so sorry I am late ! Mr. Boothby of Gamaliel said he hadn't time to look over my prose, and asked me to bring it to you at 4 :45, and said, as you sometimes took his work, you would correct it for me. I saw it all, or rather I saw nothing but her slim, petite, with stray strands of nut brown hair peeping from beneath a daiuty straw hat trimmed with mar guerites. The porter had directed her to my rooms instead of to those of the pro fessor (I gave him a sovereign at the end of term). One more to the long list of mistaken identities, but worth them all Should I undeceive her? And I thought of the dryasdust Jones. He was the sea monster, I was Perseus, and she was Andromeda. "A thousand times no, said tny heart. I shall be a professor for 80 minutes 1 With all of him I could muster, and re-enforced by my gold rim med pince nez "Ah I er let me see, what; or is your name?" "Ethel Mayner," said Ethel-red, for the rosy hue had mounted to her cheek, as it did to Virgil's Venus, "I'm I'm one of Mr. Boothby s 'extension' pu pils." "Of course," I said and looked pro fessorially ata card Ipicked up, "here's your name." It was a card of the XL's summer term fixtures. Inwardly I vowed it would be more "extension"' than " lec ture. " But did she think I was a pro fessor? Could she not see my chin, in nocent of a razor the galaxy of London actresses on my mantelpiece, the hunt ing, sketches, my bat on the table, the siphons cheek by jowl with McTavish's "best?" Did professors play banjos and whistle "Oh, Phyllis Mine," as they bounded up 'to unravel the mysteries of "Oratio Obliqua" with fair pupils stifled surmise and lived only in the present and the sunshine of Ethel. She resumed her seat, and I rang the bell Up came the landlady. "Bring np tea fortwo, Mrs. Grabbs," I said, "and send out for the best cake Boffins have in' the show I er mean the premises. " "Oh, professor," she interposed, "please don't trouble about tea for me. " "Madam," I rejoined, "we cannot discuss the position of Caesar in winter quarters or that plebeian bricklayer Balbus without some light refreshment Come, let us commence. Bring your chair up to the table. " (Oh, how brutal of me I And I would have carried it miles for her dear sake, but I was a professor. ) And- she drew her chair so close to mine that I could almost "Page' 21," I grunted, with a beating heart, for I knew that the sentences were plain sailing till about page 80. "Oh, no," she said, "I'm at page 2101" My heart sank, at least such of it as was not in my mouth. How could a twice plowed fresher essay the snares and pitfalls of page 310? "The passage begins," she con tin ned, " 'The rotation of crops' and ends at 'rustic simplicity. ' " It was hopeless. She, Ethel-well-read, was an "Honors" candidate, and I, the unread-y, nothing but a manufacturer of "howlers" and classical faux pas. "Er er, ah let me see, er" I gasped, and her deep brown eyes, with a look of incipient perplexity, met mine. Her hands were toying with the handle of my bat Would it had been met "I used the word rotatio," she said, "I hope it's not too doggy?" "Oh, no," I sighed, "it's an excel lent word used by Bolin, I believe I" How could any word she used be I wrong? I thought only of the miserable i Don Jones from whom i naa savea ner. Then Mrs. Grabbs came in with the tea and cake. 'Ethel, a er Miss Mayner, I beg your pardon ! Do let me pour you out a cup of tea!" The emphasis was more unaergraau- atey than professorial, the work of im pulse rather than discretion, but pru dence was out when beauty was in. "Oh. thank you," she smiled. "You are a dear good old man !" (I had just turned 18. I good? A hypocrite m a fool s paradise l ) eniwe uuu c tseeui to be getting on very quickly?" she que ried (Oh, when were prose and poetry so closely allied?) "Crops, are they fem inine or masculine she asKeo. "Ahem er it depends on the kind, yon know I" I replied. - .a .1 L 1 Oil "Seges, is tnas me correct worur And I, smitten by love and forgetful of my Latin dictionary, tow tier it meant a soldier! ShesiDPed her tea and tried to sup press a laugh. It was the "soldier" that did it, and midst her emotion a little red rosebud fell from her breast on te Herr Crammer's "Latin Prose." "You funny man!" she rippled. It would have been cruelty from any one else in the world, but from Ethel it was sweetness and joy. I drew my chah closer to hers. My left hand strayed to ward that cricket bat. A magnetio thrill was generating. I looked and thought only of her dream face, her eyes, where the merry twinkle at the "soldier" crop per was just dying away, and I was about to when a knock came at the door, then Mra Grabbs, and her words fell on my ears like molten lead : "If you please, sir, the porter says as Professor Jones says, as the young lady what 'e was expecting at 5 o'clock 'asn't arrove, he wants you at once with 'Steps For Beginners.' " e e I burst from the room, fled like a hunted slave over to the common room and fell into an armchair. My brain was in a mad whirl, love and ignominy striv ing with deception and remorse. Ethel ! Love! She knew all that I was a "Steps For Beginners" man Ethel, who was at page 210, and "the rotation of crops!" When I went back to my rooms at 6 :80, dazed and wracked with love, the rosebud was still on Crammer 's " Prose, ' ' as it fell, and a note a note in a dainty little hand Ethel's! Vour tea and cake were excellent. How 1 wish I could say the same of your prosol 1 left thejiud for you, if you care for it, and 1 stole your "list of pupils" cricket fixtures We may never meet again, professor. Yours, Ethku But we did, and Mrs. Unwin-Jones always laughs at "Steps For Beginners when she dusts it Sketch. A Mew Typewriter. Patent rights have just been granted to a young inventor in St. Paul for mi proveinents on the typewriting machine which will greatly increase its speed. The improvements consist of the intro duction of the stenographic principle, making the machine capable of printing whole words at single strokes of the keys. Many of the small words and word endings which are most frequent ly used are represented in the new ma chine by separate keys of their own, and by a clever device the spacing is made to correspond automatically with the length of the words thus set apart An other time saving device is the two space lever, which enables the operator to form the space between the words with the same stroke which makes the last letter of a word. An automatic spa cer, used to print tables of figures and similar work, is also added to perfect the equipment of the new typewriter. The inventor claims that the speed to be attained by the use of these devices is much greater than has yet been secured. Next he proposes to introduce electricity as the motive power in the manipula tion of all the mechanical parts, leaving it necessary for the operator only to press lightly on the keys to print whole words with great rapidity. New York Post. A Snake the Negro Fears. Mr. Powe, in speaking of snakes, said that the "coachwhip snake' ' was the ter ror of the negroes. There was an old superstition among them that the coach whip would whip a man to death and then put the tip of its tail into the nos trils of the victim to see if he was dead. An old negro man went out to catch the horses of the party, which were turned into pasture, while they were out fishing and hunting, and on the way began to think about snakes. The old man had a bridle on his arm, and by some meatis one of the long - leather reins had got loose aqd was dragging behind him. His imagination had worked him up so that the sweat was standing out on his black skin. He chanced to look back and catch a glimpse of the rein. He let a blood curdling yell and ran. He' looked back and on came the rein, which he took for a coachwhip snake after him to beat him to death. The negro actually ran until he fell exhausted, and then fearing the superstitious act of having the tip of the snake's tail run up his nose he clapped his hands over his face and pre pared for the whipping. St Louis Post Dispatch. Geneva's Water Fireworks. The municipality of Geneva has re cently built a new reservoir on the Bes singes heights at an elevation of about 440 feet above the level of the lake. This reservoir is filled by motor power obtained from an artificial fall of the waters at the Rhone, where it leaves the lake. At the entrance of the harbor a waterspout is provided, which is turn ed on only Sunday and several evenings during the week. The spout is the big gest in Europe, rising to nearly 800 feet in the air. In clear weather it can be seen from afar and appears like a sail oscillating in the wind. On summer evenings other beautiful effects are shown, with several smaller fountains electrically illuminated in various col ors. These water fireworks, as they style this entertainment, have become great favorites, and the natives and tourists are greatly admiring the innovation. Philadelphia Press. flnnira: I can srive vou a (rood pre scription for yonr oold, Qiles: What be that-Bonlref Sauire: Adropof whiskey. Giles: But I know a better than that, sir; a lot o' whiskey. Parliamentary Proverb. There's many a slip' twixt the M. P. and the Whip. Betrothed. She. A fly has got into my eye. Be: What a hevenly death) The Best Time. Aunt: Hans, whioh time do von nrefer. sohooltime or play I time? Little Hanat Meal time, aontie OMEN'S FACES like flowers, fade and wither with time ; tne Dioom ot lue rose is only known to the healthy woman's cheeks. The nerv ous strain caused by the ailments and pains peculiar to the sex, and the labor and worry of rearing a family, can often be traced by the lines in the woman's face. Dull eye3, the sallow or wrinkled face and those "feelings of weakness" have their rise in the derangements and irregularities peculiar to women. The funcf'onal de rangements, painful disorders, and chronic weaknesses of women, can be cured with Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. For the young girl just entering womanhood, for the mother and those about to become mothers, and later in "the change of life," the " Prescription " is just what they need j it aid9 nature in preparing the system for the change. It's a medicine prescribed for thirty years, in the diseases of women, by Dr. R. V. Pierce, chief consulting physician to the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Insti tute Buffalo, N. Y. Di. .Vicrce's Favorite Presci iption will cure the chronic inflamma tion of the lining membranes which cause such exhausting drains upon the system. It cures nervous prostration, sleeplessness, faintness, nervous debility and all disorders arising from derangement of the female organs and functions. Mrs. Trnmib Williams, of Mohawk, Lang Ot. utegon, writes: i was sick lor over three years with blind dizzy Bpelts, palpitation of the heart, paiu in the back and head, aud tt times would have such a weak ttrrd feel ing when I first got np in the morning, awl at times nervous chills. The physicians dif fered as to what my disease was, but none of them did me any food. As soon as I commenced taking Dr. Pierce's Favorite Pre scription, I began to mt t better : coula sleeD Mrs. Williams. wll nights, and that bad, nervous feeling and th pain in my back soon left me. 1 can walk sever, al milep without getting tired. I took in all three kjoMles of 1 Prescription ' anO two iS' Discoverr.' " Mr. Edison said recently that he be lieved the newspapers of the future would be published by phonographs. His rea sons for this were that the eye-sight of people was becoming poorer, the time of busy people was becoming more and more oconpied, and many of the news papers were now so large that it was impossible for busy people to read them through. My dear, where's my overcoat? '.Yoar overooatf Yes; I'm going down to the Btrawberry festival. ATLANTIC & PACIFIC RAILROAD. (Western Division.) (J. W. Reinhart, John J. MoOook, Joseph 0. Wilson, Reoeivers.) TIME TABLE NO. 39. In Effeot Sunday, November 4, 1894. Leave Chicago at 10:00 p. m.j 10:00 p m. Arrive at Chioago at 10:00 p. m.; 9:00 a. m. Leave Kansas City, Mo., at 1:50 p. m.; 2:00 p. m. Arrive at Kansas City, Mo., at 6:10 D. m.: 6:00 p. m. Leave Denver at 11:50 p. m. Arrive at Denver at 5:15 a. m.; 1:45 a. m. Leave La Junta at 7:20 a.m.; 10:10. Ar rive at La Junta at 10:50 a. m.j 8:55 p. m WESTWARD STATIONS EASTWARD Lv. Ar. ..Albuquerque.., . . ,Coolidae W filtrate Galiun 9:40p. 2 :Ua. 3:07a. 3:35a. 5:30a. 6:50a. 8:10a. 3:30a, 9:10a, 9:15a, 10:05a, 8:15p. 3:35p. 2:50l. 2 :20p. 6:10a l:35p. 1 :07a, 12:35a. 10:18p, 8:55p, 7:50p, 5:40p, 4:20p, 2:55p, 2KKIp, 12:40p 10:10a, 7:50a, 6:10a, 3:10a, 12:32a, 12:10a, 12:03p. .Navajo Springs.. 12KKip. 10:40a. l :z:a, 2 :55n. ....HolhrooK.. WIiibIow.. Flagstaff.. Williams. . ....Ash Fork.. Seliamnn.. 9:30a. 7:20a. 8:00a. 4:30a. 3:35a. 2:10a, 10:45a. 12:35p. 5: (Op. i :;i3n. 1 asp. 2:45p. 4:05p. 6:05p. 8:30n. 8: top. :50p. 11 :40n, ..Peach Springs.. 1:40a. luneinan.... ...Needles, Cal.. Blake , Bagdad Da&rffett ll:35p, 4:10a. 6:10a. 9:00a. saop. 7:35p, 5:10p. 2:43p. 2:20p, liOOp. 10:30p. 12 :50a. 3:52a. 4:15a. 12:07d. 2:20p. 6:00p.! Ar..Barstow...Lv Ar....Moiave...Lvl 1mi' T.na inoalaa OSfi B. m' fi:30 Tt m. Leave lios Angeles at :uu a. m.; o:uu p. m. Arrive San Diego 12:45 p. m.j 9:20 p, m. Leave San Diego at 2:15 p. ra. Arrivn at. Sun Francisco at 9:15 8. m. Leave San Franoisco at 9:00 a, m. Every day bnt Snnday. CONNECTIONS. ALBUQUERQUE A., T. i, 8. P. Railway for all points east and south. ASH FORK Santa Fe, Presoott A Phoe nix railway for points in eentral and southern Arizona. BLAKE Nevada Southern Railway for Purdy and connection witn Biage lines for mining distriots north. BARSTOW Southern California Railway for Los Angeles, San Diego and other California points. MOJ AVE Southern Paoiflo Company for San Franoisoo, Sacramento and other northern California points. Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars No change is made by sleeping ear pas sengers between San Franoisoo, Los Angeles oiSnn Diego and Chioago. The Atlantio A Paoiflo Railroad, the great middle route aoross the Amerioap oontinent, in connection with the rail ways of the "Santa Fe route." Liberal management; superior facilities; pic turesque soeneryj exoellent aooommoda tions. . , The Grand Canon of the Colorado the most sublime ot nature's work on earth, indescribable, can easily be reached via Flagstaff, Williams or Peaoh Springs on this road. To the natural bridge of Arisona and Montezuma's well you can Journey most directly by this line. Ob serve the anoient Indian civilization of Laguna or Aooma, "the City of the Sky." Visit the petrified forest near Carrizo. See and marvel at the freak of Canon Diablo. Take a hunting trip tn the mag nificent pine forests of the San Franoisoo mountains. Find interest in the ruins of the pre-historio Cave and Cliff Dwellers, View the longest cantilever bridge io Amerloa aoross the Colorado river. Jko. J. Bybnk, Gen. Pass. Agt., Los Angeles, Cal. O. H. Spins, '' Ass't Gen. Pass. Agt., San Franoisoo, Cal. H, 8. V 8i,to, Qua. Agt., Albnqnerqne, N. M. Hi The Morning After. r Distinguished Amateur Actor I must have tumbled out of bed during the night, I wonder if any of the folks heard me. Life. Our Servants. Lady (engaging a new servant) I hope you don't mind children. Servant Oh, no. I always leave the missus to look after them. A Machine Made Man. -Brooklyn Life. A Thin House. Verger Hi, mister, come iu for a few minutes ; the pa'son wants to eay "My dear brethren," and there's only me in the church. Judy. Forwarded. "FT a has ham dead two vfinrs. and to day I received a hill against him, with the request to forward it. "Why, what did you do with it?" "Put it in the fire. "Life. Strange. Brown I never thought that parting with Maria for the first time would have made toe feel so very ill. Opening of the "Hontennma" Jnne !iO. lHOfl-Medication of Maaonie Temple, ! Vegas, JnncX. 1MU3. For the above occasions the Santa Fe ronte will place on sale tickets to Las Vegas Hot Springs and return at a rate otone eent per mile ($1.85). Dates of ale Jane 18, 19, 20 and 33, good to retnrn until June 25, 189S. . Parties- wishing to remain aa guests at the "Montezuma" can have these tickets extended for any reas onable length of time. H. S. Lmi, Agent. Gio. T. Nicholson, O. P. A. j Something New! We call especial attention to onr celebrated Frey's patent flat We make them in all manner of styles. We bind them in any style you wish. We rule them to order CTOB "WORK Of all kinds done with neatness and des patch. We carry a large and com plete line of commercial stationery, consisting of wedding cards, business cards, programs, etc, BOOK "WORK We are the best equipped establishment in the whole southwest for this line of work, and our unequalled facilities enable us to turn out work at the lowest possible figures. LEG-AL BLjAlIjTKS We carry a full and complete line of all Legal Blank, including those required by the Brand Law enacted by the last legislature. NEW I1EXICAH PRINTING COlIPAtiY. opening blank book ff 6 are the Sole Hers