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Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, June 28, 1895, Image 3

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ARE THE BEST
CIGARETTE SMOKERS
who care to pay a little more than the cosi
of ordinary trade cigarettes will find til's
PET CIGARETTES
SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS
Made from the highest cost Gold Lent
grown in Virginia, and are
ABSOLUTELY PURE
SUNBEAMS.
Barber (to nervous oostomer who is
being shaved by a yonng assistant): It
is all right, sir, don't be afraid of him.
He won't out you, and if he due's well, it
won't matter, because he knows some
thing about medioine!
A Distinguished Family. Judge: Have
you auy parents? Prisoner: Ifes, sir
Surely you have met them!
The Point of the Pistol
Is an effectual persuader, and there are
many persons so unmindful of the symp
toms of on coming disease that it wonld
almost take that deadly argument to in
duce them to adopt precautionary meas
ures. The best of these is a recourse to
that botanic restorer, Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters. It vanquishes malaria, rheumat
ism, kidney and bladder trouble, bailing
digestion, biliousness and irregularity of
the bowels, and completely fortifies the
system against their further inroads. Its
ingredients ar , drawn from nature's
storehouse, consequently it is free from
the objections attaching to many ab
solutely or semi-mineral remedies. For
the delicate, infirm, convalescent and
elderly it is peculiarly benefioial. It well
merits continuous and systematic use.
Take it at bed time to induce Bleep, and
between meals to 'stimulate appetite and
digestion. The medical fraternity oonour
in indorsing it.
Some time ago I was taken sick with ft
cramp in the Btouiajh, followed by diar
rhoea. I took a couple of doses of
Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy and was immediately re
lieved. I oousider it thebest medioine in
the market for all such complaints. I
hnve sold the remedy to others and every
one who uses it speaks highly of it. J,
W. Strickler, Valley Center, Cal. For
sale by A. C. Ireland, jr.
Proprietor (pointing to Hebrew inscrip
tion on window): Bet yon any money
you can't read it. Patrick. Hibernian
(irately): True for ye, like, bnt if my
sonny-law was here with his fiddle he'd
play it for ye.
Papa, what is a fad? A fad, my son,
is somebody else's fancy.
Having used Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy in my family and found it to be
a first-class article, I take pleasure in re
commending it to my friends. J. V.
Foster, Westport, Cal. For sale by A. C.
Ireland, jr.
- He: Don't a good many folks annoy you
with their attentions? Waitress: What
makes you do it as well?
Miss Inqnirei And do you draw every
thing larger than it realy onght to be?
Artist: everything, bat my salary!
The Value of a Package.
The contents of a 25-cent paokage of
Simmons Liver Regulator will onre many
a sick headaohe. It's the woman's friend.
"It oured me permanently of sick head
ache." 0. 8. Morris, Brownsville, W. Va.
Take it dry on the tongue, or make a tea.
Naval Gossip. Finney: Bah,' sir! I
tell yon our navy is going to the. dogs.
Scaley: Well, I wish some of our old sea
dogs wonld come baok to it. Hatchley:
There, don't run- down ear. poor ships!
They manage to do the running down
themselves often enough, and to spare.
RHEUMATISM,
LUMBAGO,
SCIATICA,
LAME BACK,
DEBILITY, Etc.
U(!Y DE mil
When a trifle will bur the greatest : healing
Invention of the dayt Vr.MandeB Electric
Melt is a complete body batterjr for awl
treatment, and sjuarafrtaed, or manes
refunded. It will cure without medioine
Hark, Kidney and ClverCaaaplalnta,
Drains and all effect at earljr Indlaerv
iton or exeeaa. To weals men It la the
irreotent poaalbie boon, u the mild,
(toothing: electric enrrent la applied
direct lo the nerve renter and improve
ments are felt from the On Bear need.
A pocket edition of the oelebrated electro
medical work,
"Three Classes of Men;1
Illustrated, Is sent froe, sealed, by mail upon
application. Every yoMUK, middle-aged
or old man sutteriwt the slightest weakness
shonldread it. It will show an eaay. Mire
and speedy way to regain treng and
healtb when everything elaa ba failed.
The 8ANDEN ELECTRIC CO.,
Mo. Sixteenth HU, Denver, CoL
Also Hew York, ChKwgo Londea, Kag.
largest Electro-II edleal Concern in the World!
A Remarkable Cure or RheumatlHm.
Westminster, Cal., March 21, 1BU4.
Some time ago, on awakening one morn
ing, I found that I had rhenmatism in my
knen so badly that, as I remarked to my
wife, it would be impossible for me to at
tend to business that day. Remember
ing that I had some of Chamberlain's
Pain Balm in my store I sent for a bottle,
and rubbed the afflicted parts thoroughly
with it, according to directions, and with
in an hour I was completely relieved
One application had done the business
It is the best liniment on the market, and
I sell it under a positive guarantee. R.
T. Harris. For sale by A. C. Ireland, jr.
HELEN'S HAT.
Helen and I had n bet of a hat the other
day, and she won. At that time I thought
from looking at thorn that the price of la
dles' hats could not run to more than 5
shillings, but this is a complete mistake.
The cost of ladles' lints varies according
to what is not on them that is to say,
half a sovereign extra is charged for tak
ing out the feather and a guinea extra for
taking out what a man would call a hat
and leaving only one bow and ribbon. As
almost nothing is the fashion now, bats
are unusually dear this season.
To pay for a lady's hat, however, is,
after all, a small matter. The difficulty
is to go into a shop in cold blood and buy
one. That is what I had to do, according
to the conditions of the bet, and I was al
lowed to take no one with me. Helen said
that if I could not pick out a hat that
would suit bor it was plain that I did not
really love her, and she coldly stared
when I asked permission to take another
man with me, not to help to purchase,
but to stand by while I said sternly to the
salesman, "I want a lady's hat"
There is a milliner's store next to my
tobacconist's, and I thought I oould slip
into it as if by mistake. Just as I was
about to do so, however, the tobacconist
came to his door, and so I had to buy a
box of cabonas instead. I was very angry
with tho man and have given him up ever
since then.
My original intention had been to go
into a milliner's shop and bribe them to
tell ine which was their best hat for a
pretty girl with brown hair, dancing eyes,
20 inches around tho waist, but Kavens
croft, who protended to know about hats
though it is quito cloar that he thinks
tho blggor they are the dearer said that
would not be sate. His advice was that I
should do a round of milliners' windows
on wot days, so that my umbrolla might
hide me. VVoodhouse, however, who has
two sisters and hearkens to them, said
this would bo foolish, as they only exhib
ited a variety of hats in the second rate
shops. Ho urged ine to walk boldly into
a shop and Insist on their giving me a
hat. Another friend, Hooper, said: "The
hat itsolf is of but little consequence. The
great point is that it should be dear. She
will forgive you for buying an unbecom
ing hat, but never for buying a cheap one. "
Then Trotter, who thinks himself clever,
said, "How can you buy her a hat when
you don't know her size?" This philoso
pher is 80 years old and has not discovered
yet that ludles' hats are worked with
pins.
Several days passed and I had all but
bought the hat many times. It was
strange and interesting to me to reflect, at
say 5 o'clock, that if I had entered the shop
at 4:30 the whole thing would be over
now. Once I die go into a milliner's shop
in Regent street, but I loft it without hav
ing bought the hat. This was because my
courage failed me, and instead of asking
for a hat I requested the boy who opened
the door to direct mo to Piocadllly circus.
If he had been a boy of average smartness,
ho would have read between the lines and
insisted on my taking a chair. I hurried
into a side street after this escape and pres
ently came to.
The place to buy ladies' hats, warranted
dear, is Bond street, but in no thorough
fare in London art there so many inquisi
tive people. Bond street can never expect
to do a great trade so long as the jewelers
and fish sellers, and even the sandwich
board men, stare impertinently at wayfar
ers. I was simply driven from a milliner's
door by a fish sollor, who kept looking aft
er me as if he thought I was afraid to face
him. Then there is a dressmaker's win:
dow, in which a woman in black stood all
day looking for mo. I soon discovered that
she knew I was honestly desirous of buying
a lady's bat, but she would not let mo. It
was impossible to go into a hat shop with
that woman ready to triumph over me. A
grocer's boy, too, passed mo twice within
ten minutes, lingering about in a most
Impertinently suspicious manner, which
to incensed me that I followed him to his
shop and complained to his master. There
was a curious look in the latter's eye, and
I oould not help fooling that he knew I
wanted to buy a lady's hat. With another
person, dressed like a gentleman, I had
quite a scene. I was just going into a shop
to buy the hat when he looked fixedly at
me. This confused me and turned me
from my purpose, but half an hour after
ward I was back at tho shop door. Again
he passed, with a look that told ine plain
ly that I was discovered. I lost my tem
per, and gripping my umbrella demanded
to know what he meant. He replied with
affected surprise, but I saw through him,
and said that I would stand there until a
policeman came to my aid. He answered
that as he wished to oonsult my conven
ience entirely he would not go away. So
he put his back to one window and I put
mine to another, and there we stood glar
ing at each other until 4 o'clock, -when a
mist came on, in which I walked softly
away.
When I was a mile from the shop, I saw
that the mist was my opportunity for buy
ing the hat, and at once hailed a hansom.
I got out at the top of New Bond street,
however, as it struck me that there was a
look of enlightenment In the cabby's face.
To blind him I walked a little way down
Oxford street and then turned baok. . Soon
I was at the Bbop I now knew so well from
the outside, and though my throat felt
dry I determined to buy that hat. I wait
ed until two ladies bad loft I had seen
them through the window and then en
tered, with my teeth set. "I want a la
dy's hat," I said, and I had a face on me
that showed I was resolved to stand no
laughing. The milliner had a twinkle in
ber eye, but ray fierceness put it out, and
J saw ber band shake as she brought soma
bats. I bought the dearest one, gave the
address to which it was to be sent and
then retreated, keeping my eyes on her
to the last moment. That woman was
afraid of me nearly as much as I was of
bet.
, Helen says It wWl do. J. M. Barrle in
Woman nt Home.
How to Stop a Bat.
"I was much impressed," says Mr. Qos
llngton, "by something that I saw in the
street this morning, the manner in which
man stopped his hat, which was blowing
away. It is well known that under such
otrcuinstanoet a hat often develops great
eooentrialty of movement When you
stoop down to put your hand on it as you
tun, it is not there. Bat this man ran
past and just to leeward of his hat and
topped it aa It rolled toward him." New
York San.
Disqualified.
''Ton lay you are never slokf" Inquired
the Impresario.
"I never had a siok day in my life," re
plied the lady who was ambitious to go on
the operatlo stage.
"Then.madam," replied the impresario,
Ml must discourage your hopes. You can
never become a great prima donna." Chi
cago Reoord.
THAT ACCIDENT.
It Didn't Keep Her Out, So Far as Jack
Wat Concerned.
She lay on the sofa in her prettiest tea
gown, with the blinds carofully lowered,
and her dearest friend, rushing into tho
room, exclaimed:
"Oh, Effle, .I've just heard that you had
an accident the other day, and I came right
over to sympathize and heor all about it."
"Indeed, I had," she groaned. "I had
no Idea it hurt so badly just to fall off a
wheel. It was all Fan's fault too. "
' ' How did she manage it?"
"Well, it came about this way. You
know, Jack is a bicycle enthusiast, and I
knew if I wanted that is, if I cared to"
"Don't be bashful, dear. Those eyes
would be your excuse if his bank account
was not."
"Woll, I knew I must loom to ride one
of the horrid things, bo I asked him to
teach me. He was delighted, and then
Fan decided she must learn, too, and, of
course, politeness obliged him to offer to
teach her too. We each bought a wheel
and got a lovely bicycle suit. Mine is"
"Yes, yes. I'll see it later. Go on."
"I said nothing to any one, but I was
determined to got ahead of Miss Fan, so I
just took a few lessons on the sly. You
should have seen Jack's surprise when lie
took us out for the first time and found I
could ride right off, for, of course, I didn't
think it necessary to speak of the lessons."
"Of course not. Now, did Fan"
"Oh, Jess, if you could only have seen
hert She wabbled about and scrambled
and plunged and hold on to Jock until I
was actually ashamed of her. It was so
bold and unfeminlne. Poor Jack, he
couldn't get away for an Instant. I saw
then I'd made a great mistake."
"But didn't he praise your ability!1"
"Oh, yes. But praise doesn't amount to
much when it has to be shouted to you 15
feet away and Interrupted by screams and
clutches as his was."
"But wasn't it any better next tlmef "
"It was not, or the next, either. She
didn't make any effort to learn she just
played off those eyelashes and clung to
him and screamed, and I did not think he
displayed an unnecessary amount of pa
tience." "Why didn't you get her out to practice
alonof"
"I did try, but she wouldn't go said
sho'd nover dare to mount her whoel with
out Jack. Well, I knew I must do some
thing, so the next time we went out I just
went over a stone and fell. Ho loft Fan
quick enough then but I foil harder than
I meant to and sprained my wrist awfully.
"Oh, well, it wasn't so bad after all,
sluce Jack is a modloal student."
"I know. He brought mo home, ban
daged my wrist and has been coming over
every day to look at it. Fan came with
him one day and told me that it was all
because I was too independent, and asked
Jack if he didn't admire clinging, femi
nine women."
"That girl will be the death of me some
day."
"M'hm. I'm sorry now that I fell. You
see an hour a day spent here doesn't
amount to much, and Fan pretends that
she is so anxious to learn and has him out
every spare moment."
"And she is not learning a bit faster,
either. Why, here comes Katie!"
And after a hasty greeting, Katlo cried:
"Oh, Effle, I've come to ask you to be my
bridesmaid. You see, Jack and I quarrelod
two weeks ago because I refused to rido a
wheel. Yesterday he camo over and said I
was quite right. I was not to be outdone
in generosity, so I said I'd ride, after all,
and woll, the wedding is set for Juno."
"How perfectly lovely," remarked Jess.
"By tho way, If you want to buy a wheel
cheap, I'm sure Fan would be glad to sell
you hers she has no use for it."
" Thank you, " roplled the bride elect. "I
shall speak to her about it. Why, Effle,
I'm afraid you must be suffering more
than Jack thinks. I declare you look quite
feverish. ' 'Chicago Times-Herald.
Demoralized the System.
"What tinio will that train bo in, do
you think?" asked the impatient man.
"It is purty hard to toll," answered the
agent of tho littlo southern branch lino.
"Senco Bill's tree was cut down by a pock
of durn fool niggers after a coon he finds
it a heap of troublo makin jest tho right
time."
"Bill's treof"
"Yas; Bill, he is the conductor, you
know. The tree I was spoakin of stood
alongsldo tho track, about 30 milo up tho
road from here, an when tho train conio
along an the shadder of tho tree laid
acrost the middle of tho top rail of Buck
Johnson's fenco Bill knowed ho was on
time and could gauge her about right to git
horo on schedule time. Now them fool
niggers has cut it down, and all Bill lias
to go by is his own guess. Company was
talkin some of puttin up a pole in the place
whar the tree usotor bo, but they hain't
dono it yit." Cincinnati Trlbuno. "
Literature In the Suburbs.
First Book Agont Keep away from
that house! I had a torriblo experieuce
there.
Second Book Agent What happened to
you?
First Book Agent Man wanted mo to
trndo the encyclopedia for lots down in
that swamp.- He'd hardly let me go.
Brooklyn Life.
The Proud Boston Boy.
The littlo Boston boy was so plainly
puffed up with juvenile vanity that the
visitor noticed it.
"Eobort seems unusually proud today,"
sho said.
"Yes," tho fond mothor answered, "he
has on Ids first pair of spectacles." Indi
anapolis Journal.
Just the Thing.
Miss Wellalong I think I made quite a
sensation in my antique costume at the
levee last evening.
Miss Marketmade Oh, decidedly! Ev
erybody exclaimed, "How appropriate I"
Boston Transcript.
Angelina A halt an hour has went, and
still ho hasn't came. Great henvons, can
he have discovered that I have a past? If
so, his manly arm will never again encir
cle my wasplike waist, his hazel eyes will
pover gaze as fondly into mine, these ru
by lips will never Oh, It is too much I
Why should I be confronted thus with ine
own past? New York World. . .
"' Jaspar Children often say very fanny
things.
fumpuppe (guardedly) Yes, but never
funny enough to be repeated.
Saving Up. The waiter had the order.
Dear, did you mean it when you say you
will be minef She was a bit impatient.
Fits Maurice, she replied, did I not jost
this moment say olsret when I might
have said ohsmpagnef
This was oertsinly conclusive.
Alaal
TO PUT ON
needed flesh, no mat.
ter how you've lost
it, take Dr. Pierce's
Uolden Medical Dis
covery. It works
wonders. By restor
ing the normal ac
tion of the deranged
ortrans and functions,
it builds the flesh up
to a safe and healthy
standard promptly,
pleasantly and nat
urally. The weak,
emaciated, thin, pale
ana puny are maae
strong, plump, round and rosy. Noth
ing so effective as a strength restorer
and flesh maker is known to medical sci
ence; this puts on healthy flesh not the fat
of cod liver oil and its filthy compounds.
It rouses every organ of the body to ac
tivity, purifies, enriches and vitalizes
the blood so that the body feels refreshed
nd strengthened. If you are too thin, too
weak, too nervous, it may be that the food
assimilation is at fault. A certain amount
of bile is necessary for the reception of the
fat foods in the blood. Too often the liver
holds back this element which would help
digestion. Dr. Pierce's Uolden Medical
Discovery stimulates, tones up and invig
orates the liver, nourishes the blood, and
the muscles, stomach and nerves get the
rich blood they require.
Spent Hundred of Dollars with no Benefit.
M. J. Coleman of n Sargent SI., Roxbury,
fa.w., writes- "After "-r
wncmis iruiu ayspepsiu
tud constipation with un
told agouy for at least l3
mouths, 1 qra more than
pleased to Aay that after
using Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery and
Pleasant Pelletii' for one
month, I was entirely
cured, and from that day
to this I do not know,
thank God, what even a
slight headache is. I paid,
a doctor on Tremont St.,
Boston, in oue day (for
his advice only,) the sum
medicine, and derived no M. J. Coleman, fen.
benefit. I got more relief in one hour from yout
medicines, as far as my stomach .was concerned,
than from all the other medicine I used.
If any person whoa reads this is suffering from
HTpMU Ur lAJIJBlllJUUUU UUU Will USC yOUl
iclno as I have done, he will never regret it"
Degrees. Mrs. Flnmpton: Ah! my
dear; marriage is a very serious matter.
Miss Humphreys: No doubt; but the
chance of being left on the shelt is more
serious still.
Enough for Her. Mrs. Gabley: What
do you think o the new women? Mrs.
Plaoid: Nothing. I'm bothered enough
about the old man.
ATLANTIC & PACIFIC
RAILROAD.
(Western Division.)
(J. W. Reinhart, John J. MoCook, Joseph
0. Wilson, Receivers.)
TIME TABLE NO. 39.
In Effect Sunday, November 4, 1891,
Leave Chicago at 10:00 p. m.; 10:00 p
m. Arrive at Chieago at 10:00 p.m.; 9:00
a. m.
Leave Kansas City, Mo., at 1:50 p. m.j
2:00 p. m. Arrive at Kansas City, Mo.,
at 6:10 p. m.; 5:00 p. m,
Leave Denver at 11:50 p. m. Arrive at
Denver at 5:15 a. n.; 4:45 a. m.
Leave La Junta at 7:20 a.m.; 10:10. Ar
rive at La Junta at 10:60 a. m.; 8:55 p. m.
WESTWABD
STATIONS
BASIWAKD
Lv. Ar.
..Albuquerque.. .
. .Coolidfre
Wlngate
Gallup
.Navajo Springs..
....Holbrook
Winslow
Flagstaff
Williams.....
....Ash Fork
Soligman
..Peach Springs..
Kingman
.. .Needles, Cal. ..
Blake
Bagdad..,.,..
Da?ffett
9:40p.
2:4itt.
3 :07a.
3:35n.
5:30a.
6:50a.
8:10a.
10:45a.
12:35p.
l:35p.
2:45p.
4:05p.
6:05p.
8:30p.
10:30p.
12 :50a.
3:52a.
4:15a.
3:30a,
8:15p.
3:a5p.
2:50p.
2:20p.
6:10a
1 :35p,
1:07a,
12:35a,
10:18p,
8:55p,
7:50p,
S:40p,
4:20p,
2:55p,
2KK)p,
12:40p
10:10a,
7:50a.
6:10a,
3:10a,
12:32a,
12:10a,
9:10a.
9 :15a.
10:05a.
12:03p.
12 KMp.
10:40a.
1 :25o,
2:55p.
5:40p.
7:35p.
9:30a.
7:20a.
6:00a.
4:30a.
3:35a.
2:10a.
8:4UD
9:50p.
11 :p,
1:40a
ll:35p.
4:10a.
s :nup.
7:3Sp.
5:10p.
2:43p.
2:20p.
l:00p.
6:10a,
9:00a,
12:07p.
2:20p.
6:001). i
Ar . . B arstow. . . Lv
Ar....Mojave. ..Lv
Arrive Los Angeles 9:35 a. m.j 6:80 p.
in. Leave Los Angeles at 7:00 a. m.j 5:00
p. m.
Arrive San Diego 12:45 p. m.; 9:20 p.
m. Leave San Diego at 2:15 p. m.
Arrive at San Francisco at 9:15 a. m.
Leave San Franoisco at 9:00 a. m.
Every day bnt Sunday.
CONNECTIONS.
ALBUQUERQUE A., T. & S. F. Railwuy
for all points east and south.
ASH FORK Santa Fe, Presoott t Phoe
nix railway for points in oentral and
southern Arizona.
BLAKE Nevada Southern Railway for
Purdy and oonneotion with stage lines
for mining districts north.
BARSTOW Southern California Railway
for Los Angeles, San Diego and other
California points. 1
MOJAVE Southern Paoiflo Company for
San Franoisoo, Saoramento and other
northern California points.
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars
No change is made by sleeping oar pas
sengers btween San Franoisoo, Los
Angeles or"San Diego and Chieago.
The Atlantic & Paoiflo Railroad, the
great middle ronte aoross the American
oontinent, in oonneotion with the rail
ways of the "Santa Fe ronte." Liberal
management; superior facilities; pio
tnresqne scenery; eioellant accommoda
tions. ,
The Grand Canon of the Colorado
the most snblimo of nature's work on
earth, indescribable, can easily be reaehed
via Flagstaff, Williams or Peaeb Springs
on this road. To the natural bridge of
Arissoua and Montezuma's well you ean
journey most directly by this line. Ob
serve the anoient Indian oivilization of
Lagnna or Aooma, "the City of the Sky."
Visit the petrified forest near Osrtiso.
See and marvel at the freak of Canon
Diablo. Take a hunting trip in the mag
nifloent piue forests of the San Franoisoo
mountains. Find interest in the ruins of
the p re-historic
Cave and Cliff Dwellers,
View the longest eatitilever bridge lo
America aoross the Colorado river.
Jmo. J. Btbhb,
Gen, PaBS.-Agt., Los Angeles, CU '
0. H. Spmbb.
Ass't Gen. Pass. Agt, San Franoisoo, Cal.
H. 8. Van Bltok,
Gen. Agt., Albuquerque, N. M .
HE PAID UP.
A Wedding That Cost Stuart Robsoa
5,000.
"I read in the newspapers one morn
ing," snys Nat C. Goodwin, "that Law
rence Barrett's daughter had been mar
ried, and that among the bridal gifts was
a check for (5,000 from Stuart Robson.
" 'That can hardly be true, thought L
'Robson and Barret are great friends, but
Robson would not be likely to give so
much money as a wedding present. The
new spapers must be wrong. '
A day or two later I met Robson In
Broadway.
" 'Look here, old man,' said L 'How
about that gift of 15,000 you are said to
hove made to Larry Barrett's daughter?
Have the newspapers been lying about you
again!"
'Nat,' said ho solemnly, 'it s true-
true as gospel 1 Stop out here one side,
and I'll tell you how it happened.'
'We retired to a convenient corner, and
Robson told nie tho whole story, and it
amused me Immensely.
'About two years ago last summer,'
said ho, 'a young man called at my cottage
in (Joliasset, bringing a letter of introduc
tion from a friend in New York. I was as
cordial as I could be, and the fellow kept
oalling off and on all summer. He did not
Interest me particularly, but he was harm
less. One day he said to me, "Mr. Bob
son, that Miss Barrett is i charming girl."
" ' "Ah, and so you have met the Bar
retts, have you?" says I."
" ' "I have," says he, "and I regard Miss
Barrett as one of the most charming young
ladies I over saw."
" ' "She is, my boy, she la!" says I.
"Pitch in and win her, and the day you
wed her I'll give you 15,000. And here's
$1 to bind the bargain."
" 'Nat, I pledge you my word I had no
Idea that anything further would ever
coine of the matter. My Idea was to eu
courage the fellow to spend his time at
Barrett's cottage instead of mine. But he
was in earnest, it scorns. I used to hear of
his being with MisB Barrett a good deal,
and occasionally I would see them saunter
ing along the beach listening to the musio
of tho sad sea waves. But, as I said, I
thought nothing serious of it all, and I
forgot all about my stipulation involving
the $5,000. So you can imagine my aston
ishment, my horror, when, about two
months ago, that young man turned up
at my cottage again,, wearing a particular
ly triumphant smile.
" ' "Mr. Bobson," said he, "I've done
it."
" 1 "Done what?" says I.
" ' "Proposed to hor," says he.
" ' "Proposed to whom?" says I.
" ' "Why, to Miss Barrett," says he,
"and I'm going to marry her!"
" ' "The you are!" says I, for the
news fairly knocked the wind out of me.
" ' "I am, indeed," says he, and then
he reminded me of the promise I had given
him about the check. Yes, you may not
believe it; but, Nat, the fellow had the bad
taste to recall that I had promised to give
htm a bridal present in case he won Larry
Barrett's daughter.
" ' "My boy," says I as amiably as I
could, "Stuart Robson never forgets and
he never violates a pledge or a promise!"
" 'The morning of the wedding I was
feeling too Indisposed to leave my bed. I
had been sitting up too late the night be
fore with a sick friend. So I called my
daughter to me.
" ' "Alicia," said I, ''are you going to
the wedding?"
" ' "Yes, father."
" ' "Thon tuko this check with you,"
said I. "Be careful not to lose It, and after
the wedding hand It to tho groom. But,
mind you, Alicia, do not give it to him
until after the minister pronounces them
man and wife, for he might drop dead in
the meantime."
" 'When my daughter returned that aft
ernoon, I said, "Alicia, is it all over?."
" 4 "Yes, father."
" ' "And did you give him the" check
for $5,000?"
" ' "ts, father."
" ' "What did he do when you gave it
to him?"
" ' "Father, he cried."
" 'I was gratified, I will admit, that my
trifling benefaction had touched his heart,
yet I was anxious to know tho full extent
of his appreciation.
" ' "Ho cried, did he?" said I. "How
long did he cry?"
" ' "Father, I am not sure, but I should
say about a minute."
" ' "A minute! A mlnuto!" said I.
" ," I cried an hour before I signed
that check I" ' "Eugene Field in Chi
cago Record.
Army Intelligence.
An army officer, Captain Poker Chip,
who has been dismissed from the army for
duplicating his cosh account, was seen
walking on tho street with a lady. Sev
eral Unitod States officers of the club saw
the couple, and Colonel Mountain Howit
zer remarked to Major Blow:
"I can't comprehond how Poker Chip
has the cheek to be seen on the streets with
a woman who would so far forget herself
as to walk out with a man of his reputa
tion." Texas Sittings.
Warned In Time.
Mr. Hordnutt I admit, sir, that my life
has not been what it should be, but I tru
ly and unselfishly love your daughter, and
If ever I give her a moment's pain I hope
I'll be made to suffer torture for it.
Old Gentleman (warnlngly) Oh, yon
Willi You don't know her. New York
Weekly.
Impossible.
Mrs. Bellefleld Mrs. Oakland has a
great secret.
Mrs. Bloomfleld Oh, no I She can't
have.
"Why not?"
"If she hod, she would have told It to
me. ' 'Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Bint to Benedicts.
"I don't like to interfere in domestic af
fairs," says the Manayunk philosopher,
"but I would suggost to the married man
that it would be well for him to let his
wife bring up the family while he brings
up the coul." Philadelphia Record.
A Peculiarity.
"Monoy talks," said the confident man.
"Yes," replied the melancholy citizen,
"but when It's conversing with a poor re
lation it usually talks In a whisper. "
Washington Star.
Defined.
"What do we mean by health?" asked
tho teacher. "Health, " said a timid little
voice, "Is when you're real fat and have
lots of skin!" Youth's Companion.
Answered.
"How many bells are In this chime?"
asked the curious traveler.
"Eight, all tolled," said the sexton.
Indianapolis Journal.
THX NIW XBZIOAN.
Bally, English Weekly and Spanish
Weekly edition, will be found on
ale at the following news depot,
where subscriptions may also be
maae:
A. 0. Teichman, Oerrillos.
S. E. Newcomer, Albuquerque.
B. T. Link, Silver City.
J. B. Hodgen, Doming.
0. 0. Miller, Hillsborough.
B. Dailey, East Las Vegas.
L. B. Allen, Las Vegas.
San Felipe, Albuquerque
Jacob Weltmer, Oity.
Fletcher ft Arnold, Bland, N. X.
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